13 Tips for Working Mothers Do You Have Any To Add?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JLH, Jun 29, 2006.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    The following "tips" may help some of our members who are still working.

    As I know firsthand, it is very hard to work while you have many health problems. You can always use all of the tips you can get!!!

    If anyone has any other tips to offer those still working, let's hear them!!!!!

    Janet

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    Having It All: Keeping Your Career on the Fastrack and Adding to Your Family: 13 "Lucky" Tips

    By Heather Kohn, Ivanhoe Correspondent

    ORLANDO, Fla. (Ivanhoe Newswire) -- Having a baby on board means getting off the fast-track of your career, right? Wrong! We talked to a panel of Smart Women who really do "have it all," and they have tips on how to expand your family without losing speed in your professional life.

    1. It takes a village to raise a child. We've all heard the proverb, but you really do need help from the village to make it work? "You can't have too many back-ups, and you can't be too proud," says Leslie O'Neal-Coble, a partner at a leading Florida law firm and a woman who spent a few years as a single mom. Build a village of family members and friends who can help out with your kids ... And don't be too proud to ask for help.

    2. Make friends with other women who have kids (especially those who aren't working!) That way, you can trade-off helping one another take care of them. That especially helped working mom Allison Cecil Jordan, who has one child of her own and adopted her niece and nephew.

    3. Divide the work with your husband/significant other. Many couples try "taking turns" with responsibilities. However, it may make life easier if you both do the things that you genuinely enjoy (or at least don't mind too much). For instance, if you don't like to cook but your husband does, make him the official family chef. And if you have more flexible work hours, you might be the one to pick the kids up every day from school. Lara Triozzi, a mother of two who owns the consulting firm MarketLauncher, Inc., is a night owl, so she always feeds the baby at night, and her early bird husband wakes up with the kids.

    4. Think out-of-the box with your babysitters. For one, single teachers make great babysitters. Also, don't "nickel and dime" them. If you're generous with their pay -- even an extra 10 bucks, which might not make a big difference to you but will to them -- they'll be more likely to be at your beck and call and do whatever they can to find you a substitute if they can't make it. Orlando TV news anchor Martie Salt hired a senior citizen to watch her son and paid her the same weekly rate, even when the family was out-of-town on vacation. Even though it cost a little more, the loyalty she got from the sitter was priceless!

    5. Daycare is not a dirty word. The Smart Women we talked to say their kids love daycare. Kids are very adaptable -- especially if you start them in it when they're babies. If they don't like it, you may just need to find a different place. There's often a waiting list for daycare -- even as long as a year -- so get on it as soon as you get pregnant.

    6. Look for an accredited daycare (and one as close to your home or work as possible). There are about 600 of them in the country, and they have a lower teacher-child ratio and stricter rules about kids coming to daycare when sick. You have to wait a full day after they're symptom-free before bringing them back, which might seem like a headache for you, but it will make it much less likely they'll be catching illnesses from other kids. Also look for a daycare with a curriculum for the kids that you can reinforce at home.

    7. Hire a housekeeper and lawn service. These are relatively inexpensive and huge time-savers, allowing you to enjoy the time with your family when you're not working. Delegate, delegate, delegate.

    8. As your kids age, have them help out with household chores. They can make their own lunches and do their own laundry and will gain a sense of responsibility in the process.

    9. You may want to make a rule that the kids can only participate in activities that they all do. That's how Susan Schilke, a mother of three and CEO of Team Strength, Inc., makes it work. It cuts down on the time spent taking each child to a different extracurricular. Or you may want to allow them each to participate in one activity at a time.

    10. Make yourself invaluable to your employer before you get pregnant. Pay your dues early, be the best worker possible, and you might be surprised how much your boss will put up with.

    11. Have a fully equipped home office. Being out-of-commission from work because of a sick kid doesn't mean you have to fall behind.

    12. Maximize your time. Do things during business hours that absolutely have to be done then. That may allow you to leave the office a little earlier than you otherwise would, and you can do tasks that can wait until the evening after your kids have gone to bed.

    13. Don't compare yourself to other moms who aren't working. Triozzi says she doesn't necessarily give her kids a bath every night and doesn't feel a bit guilty about it! She recommends the book "Confessions of a Slacker Mom" to any woman trying to "do it all."


    SOURCE: Ivanhoe.com.


  2. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Where's the money tree in my backyard so I can hire all these people to help out at my house? LOL - still gotta scrub my own bathroom (rats!) I've been trying to trick hubby into getting Merry Maids for years.

    Okay, now after being sarcastic I should contribute something of value -

    1)Don't sweat the small stuff (and it's almost ALL small stuff).

    2) Power cleaning tools! I worship my Black and Decker Scumbuster.


    3) Your kids will not look back and judge the quality of their childhood by how clean you kept the house. Love and making family fun go much further.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie
    [This Message was Edited on 06/29/2006]
  3. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Hi Everyone! Are you enjoying these "tips?"!!!!!! LOL

    These came in an email to me from Ivanhoe.com. I knew they were not practical FOR ME, but thought I would see what comments I got from you all!!! LOL

    As for my comments ....

    #3 - I couldn't divide the with my hubby or take turns!!! He always worked 2 jobs and had absolutely NO time to help me in the evenings. It was just me and the kids!!! So, while the kids were smaller, it was up to ME to do everything in the evening--cook, cleanup, baths, laundry, packing diaper bags for the next day, and as they got older, helping with homework, etc.

    #5 & #6 - I did use a daycare for my children until they were kindergarten age. I did always have to find "backup" sitters for when they were sick, ..... or I would most often take a day of my vacation to stay home with them, and/or take them to the doctor.

    #7 - Ha! Ha! Ha! I was working because we needed the money, and with paying a fortune for daycare, who had an extra money at all, let alone spend it for a housekeeper and a lawn service!!! What a Joke!!! I agree with you needed to make about a $100,000/year to afford this type of luxury!!

    #8 - As soon as my kids could walk, I started teaching them responsibility by making them work around the house.

    #10 - Ha! I always did my best at work, but there was none of this stuff with your boss putting up with more! Another joke!

    #12 - This is stupid. It states to maximize your time and do things during business hours that absolutely have to be done then because that may allow you to leave the office a little earlier than you otherwise would, and you can do tasks that can wait until the evening after your kids have gone to bed. That makes it sound like you have "EXTRA TIME" after the kids have gone to bed for you to do OFFICE WORK at home!!! For what small wages they pay office help, I certainly don't think I would take it home to finish every night!!!! Another joke!!! Besides, it would be as hard as pulling teeth for my boss to let me leave early!!

    #13 - Another dumb statement. She say you don't have to necessarily give your kids a bath every night and, if you don't, don't feel a bit guilty about it! Well, my kids always got a bath every night. They get dirty, too, and besides, a child always sleeps better at night after a bath.
    She did say not to compare yourself with mother's who were not working. That is true. You cannot spend the amount of time with your children as they can, and they may make comments on you not spending enough time with your children. However, if you need to work, you do what you have to do. Nobody can possibly imagine how hard it is to work 8-10 hours daily, raise children, take care of a hubby, and run a house including grocery shopping and errands, especially while you are ill with health problems. It's unbelieveable, and unbearable at times.

    How nice it would be to be able to follow all of these tips!!!

    Do you have any "real" tips for working mothers?
  4. JLH

    JLH New Member

    When cooking on Sunday, or your scheduled day off, cook larger portions and freeze the extra for a meal at a later date.

    My mother always cooked "to feed the freezer", too. It's just as easy when making meat loaf, for example, to make an extra one for the freezer when you're mixing it all up.
  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    You are most definitely correct--EVERY mother is a working mother! My oldest daughter has 2 boys, ages 9 and 10, and she decided to stay at home with them when the oldest was about 2, so she hasn't worked outside the home since then.

    She now volunteers at their school for all sorts of programs, is a "room mother", plans parties, etc. She is also a coach of a baseball team, umpires other games, etc. She is at the ball field almost every night! She is also VP of the school's PTO and very active in all school events.

    She also helps me to the store and often takes me to doctor appointments, etc.

    She stays pretty busy!
  6. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    My sister is an at-home mom.

    I am a not at home mom.

    Our mom was a working single mom.

    Let me tell you, both my sister and I have a healthy respect for single moms. We never knew how much my mother sacrificed for us until we became moms ourselves.

    In our community, I am the "oddball" mom because I work a 40 hour week. I frequently feel left out because all the at home moms know each other, volunteer at school together, have playgroups, etc.

    It's very cliquey and not always enjoyable, but I put up with it for my daughter's sake.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie