14 Reasons to Smile

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JLH, Jan 8, 2007.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    14 Reasons to Smile

    Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

    Marriage changes passion.
    Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
    So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

    How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

    A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ....
    but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow .... that was fun!"

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
    loose-fitting clothing.
    If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

    When I was young, we used to go "skinny dipping."
    Now, I just "chunky dunk."

    Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

    Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life
    we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

    Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in
    school, but they can in prison?

    Wouldn't you know it...
    Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

    Why do I have to swear on the Bible IN court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

    Bumper sticker of the year:
    "If you can read this, thank a teacher--and, since it's in English, thank a soldier."

    And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper.....
    The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!

  2. granny1353

    granny1353 New Member

    That was great! Just what I needed after going through some emotional junk with family.

    Thanks again
  3. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Thanks for making me smile and laugh...I have sent this out to my internet friends.