A Poodle and a Collie are walking together when the Poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. "My life is a mess," he says. "My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a Schnauzer, and I'm jittery as a cat." "Why don't you see a psychiatrist?" suggests the Collie. "I can't," says the Poodle. "I'm not allowed on the couch."