30 lines to make you smile

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ckball, May 10, 2007.

  1. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I hope you find something to make you smile-Carla


    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

    4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

    8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

    11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    19. Procrastinate Now!

    20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

    23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

    25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

    26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

    30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.

  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    that the saying is:

    Procrastinate tomorrow!

    LOL, these are all in line with the cynic's guide to life hahaha!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Those are great.

    "The trouble w/ life is there's no background music." Wouldn't it be nice if now and then we could yell CUT and do it all over again?
  5. Fmandy

    Fmandy New Member

    "6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. "

    This is my favorite but they are all terrific. Thanks :)

  6. 4peas

    4peas New Member

    Some great ones there to put on a t-shirt! Here's a couple more:

    It's only funny til someone gets hurt; then it's hilarious.

    Allow me to introduce myselves.

    Scientific theory proven: the universe actually does revolve around me.