5 year old carer

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by bossyboots, Apr 17, 2002.

  1. bossyboots

    bossyboots New Member

    my little boy is 5 years old and i keep having times when and i can do very little and he is only to pleased to help feed me, he thinks its funny, but then im not there for him when he wants to play games and im just not well enough. will he suffer in the long run. he plays out and get mucky, hes checky and test his bounderies but he knows about subjects that he shouldnt have to
  2. Charr

    Charr New Member

    I don't think you are hurting him by letting him help you when things are rough, as long as he is not the only caregiver you have and someone is there to help him with things as well. Is his dad around to do things with him or family members. He does need to be a little boy as well as a helper. I believe he will grow to be a very caring man. As for knowing things he shouldn't have to, life has all kinds of surprises for us and we can't always dictate how it's going to go. If it was the other around and he was sick, he would have to learn real quick what was necessary to keep him well. He is learning what it means to help keep you well. Hang in there and know that as long as he has your love, you will not do him any harm! Can you read to him sometimes, it may not be physically playing a game, but kids love to be read a story. Take care
  3. annee

    annee New Member

    Your liitle boy will be enriched for his relationship as carer for you.
    Recently '60 minutes' did a follow up story on 'child carers', and these now teenagers had grown into wonderful caring selfless young people.
    I feel for them, as they do live a quite different life to their peers.
    Society should do more for these young people.
    Here in Canberra (AUS) an organization does recognise the extra ordinary efforts of these young people, by helping them with scholarships to enable them to study.
    I am presently on the lookout for a group where young carers are given help with their 'caring' to give them some time off - for themselves.
    Give your son lots of big hugs and be there to listen to him and he will return your love - cheeky or not!! :)

    hugs to you both!!!!!
  4. mom

    mom New Member

    I wrote this for a friend with a little girl to help her explain our dd's to her. Feel free to print it out and read it to your son. My 2 boys are adults now one with a son of his own. They have helped me all their lives and I still get looked after. When my husband is at work the one who is at home still cleans house, cooks, does the laundry and walks with me when I feel up to walking. We are a loving family but also a very caring and compassionate one. I think it has a lot to do with what the boys experienced all their lives. They learn not to judge people harshly for things beyond their control.
    Your son will be fine and let him help you. You are there for him. Just listen to him and understand him. There are years and years ahead for you to look after him as well.
    mom lynda

    My Mom Has Something Wrong With Her

    My mom has something wrong with her. The doctor calls it fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. Those are such big scary names. Mom and dad just say fibro and cfs. They don't sound so scary cause I can say them easier.

    Mom can't always play with me but that is okay cause she will play with me when she feels better. She says she hurts all the time and gets really tired. It is kind of scary when mom is in bed sleeping while I still want to play. I know she doesn't want to be there cause when I look in she looks so sad. I know she would rather be outside playing in the yard with me. Maybe tomorrow she will feel like that. I hope so.

    When mom feels bad I can help make her feel better. I help get supper by setting the table and I am even learning how to make a nice salad. I tear up lettuce and use a not sharp knife and cut up carrots and celery. Mom says this is a big help cause her hands hurt. I can even open cans with the can opener and put it into the pot. When I get older she says she will teach me how to cook. But I have to wait till I can see the top of the stove without standing on the stool.

    I can make cereal and peanut butter and jam sandwiches and I took these to mom one morning and we had breakfast in bed. It was fun.

    We have lots of fun cause sometimes it is just mom and me when dad is at work and the other kids are busy at their houses. Mom and I make tents and have trips all over the world. We fly there on our magic carpet and go shopping for lots of silly things. Did you know that a stuffed leopard is fun to ride? Or that Polar Bear cubs can talk and tell you where the seals like to play. One day we even went to the South Pole and spent a long time sliding down the snow banks with the penguins. We had so much fun that day and mom didn't even have to get out of her chair. She sat bundled up and told me all about what the South Pole was like.

    One day we went to the park and took a bag of peanuts and bread and we fed the ducks and geese and when the squirrels came around we shared the peanuts with them. One even came and took it right out of my hand.

    When mom first got sick I was really scared. Everyone said she was poorly and that means something bad might happen. I didn't want anything bad to happen to mom so I told her she had to get better so we could play like we used to. She cried and then hugged me. When she cried I cried to cause moms aren't supposed to cry, are they? But then she hugged me and said that she would get better it just might take a really long time, but that she was not going to go away ever. Did I ever feel better when she said that! I don't want mom to go away and leave dad and me. Now I know she won't.

    She told me that if I was scared about anything that I could always ask her or dad and they would tell us what was wrong just so that I didn't feel scared and alone. I like being told things cause that means I am growing up just a little bit more.

    So you see my mom is sick but she isn't going away and we still play together. She looks after me all the time and sometimes I get to look after her. I like looking after her but I wish I didn't have to. I try to make things easier for mom by cleaning my room and doing my homework but when I have a problem she is always there to help me. If she has a problem I can always help her.
    When she hurts she tells me she loves me and we sit and read stories or have tea parties. I guess if I was a boy we would play with cars and make roads on the rugs and on the bed. Cause moms like to play with little boys to but I don't know why.

    My mom is sick but she still loves me and that is all that counts.
    I love my mom too.