A bad remark - more added/edited

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JaneSmith, Apr 14, 2007.

  1. JaneSmith

    JaneSmith New Member

    One morning I said to my spouse....."I feel real good today" (This is after a 2 week flare that was like having the flu - and going to work, make dinner, do the wash and ironing).............and the response was.............."Am I going to have to hear this for the next twenty years??"

    Thoughts? Comments?


    Just to add: I wasn't being sensitive. I was so happy when I said it but you know, just look into the eyes. You know when a person means it or not. It doesn't matter if he is your husband or a co-worker. You just know..... I held back the tears....

    And of course today is another day, raining, only 38-40 degrees and boy do those knees, hips and elbows hurt. I know you can relate. Thanks for all the responses. It really does help to know we can support each other.Thank you, thank you, thank you.[This Message was Edited on 04/16/2007]
  2. knickelson23

    knickelson23 New Member

    I think if my spouse said something that insensitive to me, he would be fending for himself until he grew up and apologized. I'll bet that most spouses like that are the ones who act as though they are dying when they get the sniffles and expect you to nurture and baby them until they feel all better. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but there is no call for anyone, especially your spouse to be so hurtful. Just my opinon. I dont want to start a war between you two. It would probley be advisable to forgive and forget. (Sometimes it's as if I have the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other-LOL). K-Nick
  3. katvwolf

    katvwolf New Member

    I would have said, "No, but if you're going to make nasty comments like that, you should worry about whether or not you're going to get sex in the next twenty years."

  4. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Of course I don't know your husband..and don't know if he is generally supportive of you or not..but I do know that men dont' realize how their words affect their wives most of the time!
    I have stopped my husband at times in conversations, to remind him that "I" am sick..and that yes..he maybe part of my ride for the rest of my life..and that is where the 'in sickness and in health' thing comes in! He 'forgets' sometimes , because this is a daily up and down ride for us. We dont know how we will feel on any given day..or at any given hour. They cannot possibly understand what it is like to be us. BUT, it is up to us to help them understand what we deal with..in a non threatening way...and hopefully they love us enough..to try to understand..and put efforts in to be our supporters!
    Good luck!
  5. Engel

    Engel New Member

    My son says the same mean stuff to me. I better not comment ... lol.
  6. 6cats

    6cats New Member

    I think I would have hit my husband with a frying pan for saying that....that is completely insensitive!!!!
  7. lurkernomore

    lurkernomore New Member

    He got upset that you commented that you felt so good? Hmm, that's really messed up! Wouldn't it be fantastic if you truly could wake up every day for the next twenty years and feel really good each day? His complaint made no sense and I'd have been tempted to point that out to him. But then I am kind of mean that way, ha ha!
  8. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Jane,
    I'm so sorry, that, on top of all the suffering that goes along with these DD's, you had to experience hurtfulness from the one person who should be supporting you.

    I guess it is indicative of the fact that I've never been married, that I have little tolerance for such things. I venture to say that my hubby would be fending for himself for a while, while I gave myself a week or two at the beach.
    At the very least, I would go ahead and hire a cleaning service, so I would be more rested and in less pain, and so he wouldn't have to "hear it again". Let him worry about how to pay for it.

    I don't think there is any excuse for such meanness and insensitivity. The fact that many men do it, is no justification. Somehow, he needs to learn to appreciate what you do,and who you are, and have some compassion. I agree with the other responder. I can't remember her name, who indicated that he has not grown spiritually. It sounds like you are living with an emotional and spiritual child.

    Good luck. Know that we understand and support you.
    Big hugs,
    Terry
  9. Fibrolady37

    Fibrolady37 New Member

    that is what people say when they arent educated its because they dont want to be.
    I was in a 10 year relationship and ive now dumped my partner.
    Because im always so tired and in so much pain and i cry a lot he used to say stop crying that wont get you better.
    I put up with it for so long then i snapped.
    You take care.
    Fibroaldy37.