A bit OT, I think. Displaced hatred the root of todays evil

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Alyndra, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. Alyndra

    Alyndra New Member

    I don't know how to feel. Anger & emotion are really controlling my pain right now.

    The guy that lives across the street from my boyfriend, of which we used to socialize with - just had his nice big brand new truck delivered to him on a flatbed the other morning.

    Turns out he was the drunk driver that killed 2 people back on Nov. 6 here in my area.

    My brain isn't processing this very well.

    There's such a large knot in the pit of my stomach, and not only for the couple that was killed, but also for their family who had to hear that some irresponsible, thoughtless 18 year old was the one to end the lives of their loved ones.

    18 years old. Not even legal age to drink.

    He wasn't of legal age to drink, has a prior record of DUI's - and for SOME reason our legal system still let him behind the wheel of a vehicle.

    I don't know if I'm just angry about what's happened, angry at the fact that it was ALLOWED to happen, or angry because I know all of the other things ONTOP of this that happened.

    I mean, we called the cops on this kid when last year (age 17!) he came home so drunk at 3 in the morning that he parked his truck on the front lawn, crawled into the bushes and slept.

    Someone else on the street called the cops when at 4:30 in the morning he was driving down peoples' boulevards running over their garbage cans and knocking down their mail box's.

    His MOTHER called the cops because he tried to run her down, again - drunk & in his truck.

    He has countless priors of domestic violence, numerous priors of wreckless driving, he's considered a 'frequent flyer' at our regional polices 'drunk tank', and not even a month ago he was charged with vandalism when he decided to wreak havoc on a large corporate building (all on surveillence, too!)

    Yet somehow, not only was he NOT in jail - he was someplace illegally drinking and then able to get behind the wheel of his truck.

    A piece from the news article "....was arrested by police and charged with two counts of criminal negligence causing death, two counts of impaired driving causing death and operating a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level of over 80 milligrams."

    2 people are dead, and he doesn't have a single scratch or bruise on him. And the part that makes me want to cry; he's right now sitting in his living room playing videogames - with a beer in his hand. Sure he has nothing but a big pile of truck in his driveway - but that hasn't stopped him from driving his mothers car the past few days!

    While this all makes me thankful that I'm basically house bound, it should never have had to of been at the expense of 2 lives.

    Nothing should EVER have to be at the expense of a life.

    While I'm sure my demerol will help to take away my pain this evening.. This all really makes me wonder what the legal system is doing to save people from the pain of losing their loved ones, these days.

    I'm sorry there's no upside to this post - but thank you to anyone who's still reading. Sure the people who REALLY need to hear this probably never will.. it's nice to know that I'm not completely unheard in all this.

  2. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    Hi Amanda,

    That is upsetting and I must say I am shocked that he is still on the streets. I live in RI in the states and it was recently on the news that we have the highest rate of alcohol related highway deaths in the country and we are the smallest state in the country!

    I am an alcoholic, I basically was a closet drunk who would come home at night and hole up and drink until I went to bed. I have been sober a year and a half. It was hard for me to admit that I was an alcoholic, but I did after I heard another girls story.

    In a nut shell she drove drunk with a good friend in her car. She hit someone head on and killed that girl. Her friend in the car was thrown from the automobile and died at the hospital. This girl lost her leg, spleen, broker her pelvis and other bones and was in a coma for a month. She did jail time and now now speaks freely about what she did. I've heard her tell her story about 4 times and each time she recites the names of the girls she killed but can barely choke them out.

    After hearing her story I realized that could be me or anyone for that matter. That is what made me realize I am an alcoholic.

    I guess the reason I'm going on like this is because I had alot of contempt for drunk drivers until I met this woman and see the devastation that she goes through on a daily basis. I'm not saying that she didn't deserve anything that she got but it did give me the compassion to not judge people, but more so feel sorry for them.

    I hope they get this young boy in your neighborhood off the street before he kills anyone else - it's a shame he was aloud too already.

  3. cindymindy

    cindymindy New Member

    I was watching the news tonight and they said a 24 year old guy had hit and killed a 13 year old boy. What I couldn't believe was the 7 page long record he had for this kind of stuff. And he was still driving!
    They said he had 90 something points against his license and he's only 24. What really hit me was they said he was released on his own recognise. (Spelling?) How could they let him go like that? He had even ran from the wreck and waited to turn himself in!
    It sure is scary to think how justice is done.
  4. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    This is not a drunk/truck/auto story but it makes me just as angry as you all are.
    Our neighbor just died last Monday from a overwhelming short battle with lung cancer .. we didn't even know until another neighbor told us .. they were private people but very nice neighbors .. I had long conversations with Tim about our love of gardening .. he was such a nice man and suffered terribly with the cancer and so did his wife of 33 years suffer with him.
    Not a few days ago .. after a first snowfall .. a 34yr.old man and his 28 yr.old female passenger literally THREW their lives away by drinking and snowmobiling in the middle of the night or should I say next day's early morning .. they ran into a wire fence and cut themselves to death. Every year there are similar stories.
    My point .. I find it incredible that good people fight for their lives with every breath they have for themselves and their families .. and others drink, drive whatever and THROW their own lives away and put their families through such torture I can't even imagine,
    It seems that good and thoughtful, sensible, people are the minority in this world .. and that scares me to death.
  5. Alyndra

    Alyndra New Member


    I really took into consideration what you said about contempt turning into compassion for some people.

    While what he has done will never be erased or excused, I wanted to hear his guilt come from his own mouth. I wanted to know that if our legal system isn't going to do anything about him, that his own concience would serve him a life sentence.

    I heard the complete opposite of what I expected, and I hate him twice as much right now.

    With a big smile on his face and no care in the world his first comment was "I'm just helping out with population control".

    He lost control of his truck in the far left lane of the highway, and plowed into a STOPPED CAR that was pulled over onto the right shoulder of the road. Yet somehow he feels "it was their fault".

    Needless to say the way I felt yesterday is only amplified twenty fold, but at least now my feelings don't feel as displaced.

    I know it's him I blame, and him I hate.

    I hope when his court date comes, the prosecutor looks for character witnesses - because there isn't a single person on the face of the earth that has anything good to say about him.

  6. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    Hi Amanda,

    I can't even fathom that he said that. I absolutely understand your rage at this whole thing, it's really is unspeakable.

    Part of what I meant to offer yesterday that I didn't was that you certainly have every right to be so incredibly angry. I just find sometimes that if I try to understand why people are bad, sometimes it helps me feel a little better.

    In this case, I have to dig deep.

  7. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    The individual, the family, the law system is out of control here. Somehow, someone or something has to take control of this individual or things will continue to happen. This whole thing has been allowed to get to the place where civilized society must step in to protect its innocent citizens.

    Yes, I know that many get away with the same thing, drive w/o a license, etc. But, even if this boy has deep problems, he must be stopped. Because he is troubled does not give him the right to kill and harm other people. You have every right to be extremely angry; I hope your anger and that of your fellow citizens can turn into action to MAKE this authorities control this boy.

    Has he been tried for the death of the two people? What is the possible sentence?

    Letters, constant vigilence, whatever. Make the police sick of hearing about this kid! If they get tired enough, they will do something. I don't mean that you have to do it all yourself, but if he's sitting drinking and gets into his truck to drive, a little call to the police might spark their attention! (-:

    What is the legal age for people to be responsible for their own actions in Canada? 18? 21? Are the parents still financially responsible for him?

    I feel the great anger you have...injustice just burns me to the core. Has the family of the people killed filed any charges...civil charges or whatever?

    I hope you are not taking this as a criticism because it is not meant that way at all! I am just angry by what you have told me and what has NOT been done by the authorities...!!

    You take care of you and hopefully this boy/child will be stopped soon.

  8. Alyndra

    Alyndra New Member

    The scary thing about him within all this is that I can't even try to justify his words or actions with a troubled past. He's just simply deranged by arrogance.

    He lives with his mother who has never learned to say no, and his father is nothing more then a checkbook to him. He has 2 brothers that he lives with as well, and while the older brother has a pretty decent head on his shoulders; his 16 year old brother is following in his drunken foot steps.

    Luckily anyone over the age of 16 is tried as an adult here, but so far he's only spent 6 hours in jail since he killed those people. Chances are it'll be nearing the end of 2006 before he has a court date, and statistically the most of a sentence he'll get is 18 months. Most likely the courts will sentence him to 90 days jail with some community service to follow. The family of the victims won't even be allowed to file a civil suit.

    Law enforcement around here is a joke.

    No criticism taken!

  9. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    A 19 year old kid with a history of drugs and alcohol hit another car and killed a man who was here from Mexico. He was an international banker who had come home to see his family.
    The 19-yr old was coming down from a two day high on meth and when the accident occured, he threw his drug cache into the bushes.
    The police are just not that dumb though. They looked around and found it. They surmised that he was coming down off the high and had caused the accident.
    He got a very long jail sentence. I wish I could remember exactly - something like 30 years.
    I knew the kid.
  10. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    he'll be free to drink and drive until the end of 2006? Oh my! I can hardly believe that. 90 days and then community service?! AAGH!! You must be heartsick.

    So, he's a spoiled kid, huh? Dad's a checkbook...that's how he shows love and Mom babies him. Very sad. I'm glad he will be tried as an adult, but it doesn't give the mom and dad any insentive to change their ways.

    We in California are finally getting serious about drunken drivers who kill. Several have been sentenced to jail for manslaughter or negligent homicide in our area, but we are by no means perfect. Our county has one of the highest precentages of alcohol and drug abuse in California...and I know there are many driving around without licenses and insurance...and they are drunk, also. But, the courts have at least started to step up the sentences for all forms of drunk driving.

    I do hope this young man is not allowed to kill again. I feel so bad for the family that lost their loved ones. A civil suit doesn't bring people back, but it does increase the penalty of the act. Several well known people who have been acquitted in criminal courts here in CA have been found responsible in civil courts because the degree of guilt is not as high. So, at least the families have had some confirmation of the wrong done them.

    Ah, well...keep us informed about this kid. Makes me mad and sad but madder than sad.

    Take care.


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