A Frenchman need some help please!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by frederic_clery, Nov 9, 2005.

  1. frederic_clery

    frederic_clery New Member

    Hi to everybody,

    At first, excuse my "not perfect" English. I´m Frederic, French, living in Germany and having a very dear friend in US. She has many symptoms of this "chronique fatigue" and I would like to understand that better. I´d like to help her too, but I don´t know how! I´m a little bit lost with a lot of informations, but I just cannot put them in the right order. If someone had the same situation, or at least lived the same syndrome, I will really appreciate some help.
    Thanks in advance.

    Frederic
    [This Message was Edited on 11/10/2005]
  2. petsrme

    petsrme Member

    Hi Frederic!
    I first want to say you are a very good person to be trying to find help for your friend and for trying to understand her situation. It is very hard to live with Chronic Fatigue and health problems. Having friends who care and want to learn about it is so important. Just be her friend and be patient with her and listen to her when she wants to talk about it. Doing that will be very comforting to her, I am sure.

    Keep reading the posts on this site and you will see what she is going through each day. We all are very similar. No two people are exactly alike but there are many things we do share. A lot of us here have Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue. Fibromayalgia itself can cause severe fatigue and pain. I think you will find a lot of information here and get a look at what your friend may be going through. Have you told her about this site? Maybe she would like to come here too.

    I hope you find lots of information. I wish I had more friends like you.

    PS your English is very good.
  3. hdbubblehead

    hdbubblehead New Member

    "Hats off to ya Frederic".
    First off, you found this website, thats a great start.
    I will just encourage you to keep in touch and find new friends here to help you find what your lookin for.
    Any question is a good question and it helps other people too.

    Explaination of disease-
    Chronic=all the time or most of time/day or night.
    Fatigue=low energy level or too weak to move a muscle. tired,exausted. Alot of the time, not always, there is pain somewhere.
    stems from the immune system and adrenal gland- burn out, poor circulation, many other reasons.
    Chronic Fatigue Syndrome IS a disease of the body. It can be managed but has no cure, which means, NO CURE.
    ( everyone experiences low levels of energy, but this is a daily trouble with (always)more than one reason for it's symptoms)
    Frederic, think about how YOU feel when you are tired. Lets just say for example... after doing the "same thing" all day and not eating and nothing to drink, no sitting, and lets say someone is constantly argueing with you for no reason that makes sense to you, and you have a headache, and can feel your heart pounding and you have the flu with the hurls & a fever + chills?
    Well, thats just the beginning of the feeling of Fatigue!
    Now, imagine you feel like this five days out of seven but you don't know "which days" you will "feel" so miserable.
    **( Did I discribe it perfectly for some of you out there?)
    i'm not saying that's "why" fatigue is,,,it only seems this way when you can't "get it together" with any strength in your body or muscles or mental abilities.
    Fatigue is a symptom, of an underlying problem that has not been found or has nothing to help it stop.

    There are alot of different ways to explain this disease.
    usually there are "other" or "overlapping" medical conditions or virus' that contribute to the "ALWAYS" fatigued syndrome" (I coined this name for my book, copywritten for "someday".) I love to write! hope you like reading.
    Frederic......
    Have you ever played a physically challenging game, like football, baseball, teatherball,soccer? or watched a game?
    or boxing? it's not a game, it's brutal. Did ya know... steriods help them with the stamina they need. Vitamins and stitches too. You can't put a cast or wrap on fatigue.
    (this disease is different in the way that...
    We suffer without getting the trophy) We did not chose to feel like an athlete does after any physical activity.
    Have you watched a professional karate pro or ice skater or dancer? Makes ya tired huh? that would be fatigue.

    look up the word "chronic" in a dictionary and that will help you understand the begining of a disableing problem for the helpless body who has these problems.

    Your dear friend probably requires naps,& more sleep then others you know, including people of age.
    The literature/information is out there- in this website to read and get an understanding of. As far as knowing how to help her, your doing it now!
    SOME THINGS I THOUGHT OF MAYBE YOU CAN TRY-
    A good listener is a nice start.
    Not insisting for her to do things, when she doesn't feel like doing anything at all.
    physically helping her with chores.
    *rub-downs help the body for poor circulation
    *(ONLY if allowed by her of course).
    anything to "lighten" her daily load of "to do" things.
    if you were "extreemly tired" what would you need from someone without asking? this is a good way to understand the symptoms of chronic fatigue.
    Don't be a cause of "stress" always put her first. This is good for everyone, in sickness or good health.
    Do Not aggravate her moods. She really can't help being so tired or confused or not caring.
    Look up the explaination of Depression.
    (if you argue about things, stop! really, the worst thing for a chronic fatigue person is to have to fight, or defend themselves about anything!)
    Blame the disease, not the person. Help her, to help herself get the best out of the day.
    Example: you want to go to the movies. She is too tired to get out of her jammies, so, rent a movie and stay home, or ask her what she would like to do.That's putting her needs first.
    Sometimes this disease makes us seem like very selfish people. I hate that about the disease. I feel SELFISH & LAZY without someone telling me so. "Mean words" only add to the feelings of this disease. Whatever you do, don't be the cause of her feeling upset. This is so hard on anyone.
    it's better to give space than stand there and make her disagree about things with you.(I don't know your relationship, but where there are two- there is always disagreements about things. That's life.

    Usually, when your tired-you need rest or food, right?
    makes simple sense. always chose the simplest.
    Don't spend alot of money on books or magazines you won't read or need.
    My experiences are to start with-
    Read-The Holy Bible- psalms (will help with comforting both of you.
    Read- Dr.Phil McGraw- his books help everyone.
    Take a walk with her for a few minutes at a time when she feels up to it.
    Help her find the Doctors who know about Chronic Fatigue and treat the symptoms as well.
    Eat healthy food, I am bad- sugar addict here- :)
    (but I just made asparagus with brown rice,a little pepper and gagged it down)it's good for me. blah.....
    I'd rather have ice cream!
    You could learn about healthy eating and cook her up something wonderful, to give her some strength and energy.
    Don't walk out on her. Give her space, but dont' leave if it's a healthy relationship.
    I am writing personal info here....
    I was left alone with all my diagnosed diseases even after saying and hearing the words, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
    GOD's Best Blessings for you both & especially for you for reaching out. (if she doesn't know you are asking about her condition, tell her. Share this place with her. I think I speak for all when I type....We are here for you.
    Take Good Care of yourself too. xxhd.
    EDIT- a few minutes later.......LOL...
    I went back to read the message and "brain fog" didn't realize that you said you were in other Countries. o MY.
    well Frederic, forgive me for the goof up.
    Where I wrote- take walks, watch movies etc, maybe do those things mentally or suggest those things to her.
    I don't always think of people being miles apart when I am writing because I feel as if I am talking to you face to face. That's how I write.
    Anyways, wherever you are or go... feel good and be safe.
    ( ya'll can stop laughing at me now... bahahahahhahaha.)
    if anyone asks what a "brain fog" is.... tell them about this one. I consider this a "gof" I mean fog. LOL.
    man, can you imagine if I didn't re-read somethings.
    I'd be in jail again. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. PEACE [This Message was Edited on 11/10/2005]
  4. frederic_clery

    frederic_clery New Member

    Thanks a lot for your great comments!
  5. ZosoLight

    ZosoLight New Member

    HI FREDERIC

    I have found that Immunesupport.com has a wealth of knowledge and new information about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.

    Keep up the good work!@
    zosolight

    [This Message was Edited on 11/10/2005]
  6. springrose22

    springrose22 New Member

    Generally speaking, most people with CFS suffer from recurring flu-like symptoms usually following physical, mental, or emotional exertion. These flu-like symptoms are very often debilitating. Remember the last time you were sick with the flu? That's what it feels like, often 24/7. Feeling "fatigued" is not often what we who have CFS feel, but rather, it feels like we have a bad flu all of the time, accompanied by mental "fogginess".

    And, generally speaking, most people with Fibromyalgia, suffer from pain all over their bodies, especially the joints. This pain is also often quite debilitating.

    There is treatment on the not so far horizon, I believe.
    It is not hopeless. Welcome to the board. You can learn a lot here. Marie