A Friend's Response

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    Was talking to a long-time friend the other day. She has known me for almost 20 years, I have had FM for about 5 now. She remembers what I was like before my diagnosis.

    Anyway - was talking to her about claiming disability, due to pain and severe, debilitating fatigue. Dropping over, almost unconscious, fatigue.

    I told her that this pain and fatigue had been documented for 5 years.

    Her response "Well, anyone can lie and say they are tired".

    I was really surprised that she wasnt more supportive.
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Are you going to keep this person as a friend?

  3. french

    french Member

    I think she might have meant that documenting the pain and fatigue might not make any difference to the authorities because in their eyes anyone can lie. Maybe just ask her?
  4. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    my sister's/mom will atest to this, i have the hardest time explaining/compreheding. The thing is, all my sisters/mom, forget or musunderstood, is it hereditery, LOL, I hope not. We, at times get the darn giggles as to who's gonna forget what". Sorry, I know this isn't funny, but life is what the "heck". God bless you for sharing this. I used to not be this way, used to type 60 wpm, now, hell this is taking me fore ver to type. Trust me I understand. thank god for my sis's/mom, they gets me more than most. Take care!!


    [This Message was Edited on 07/18/2009]
  5. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    It's true that many people have no idea how to respond to us - many times I believe they mean no harm, but it comes out wrong.

    My family is very understanding, always telling me to rest, offering me help etc. It's funny though, my best friend is the one who gives me the least amount of support. As a matter of fact we just rarely talk about my Fibro. We support each other about all other things, laugh a lot, so her friendship does mean a lot to me. She generally brushes me off though when I talk about any pain etc.

    One day she said something that just rubbed me the wrong way. I know I was particularly sensitive. She was telling me that she was explaining to her son that 'the more you lay around, the more you want to lay around" - or something like that. This was right after I got done telling her how I couldn't move most of the day.

    Ironically, right now she's going through bad shoulder pain. She said it's so bad that she told her pain guy that she can't deal with living with the pain any longer.
    Welcome to my world.

    She still hasn't made the connection to what my life is like. One of these days I am going to talk to her about it. I think it needs to be in person. I never see anyone in person anymore. We are phone friends.