A letter entitled Dear Husband

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sunflowergirl, Oct 8, 2005.

  1. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    Subject: Dear Husband


    > Dear Husband,
    >
    > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
    good.I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
    show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
    me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week,
    > you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
    cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.You came home
    and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the
    game.You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.
    Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case
    > is, I'm gone.
    > P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
    away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
    >
    > Your EX-Wife
    >
    > Dear Ex-Wife,
    >
    > Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
    you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far
    cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your
    constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off
    all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look
    just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say
    anything nice.
    > When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
    BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on
    you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it.
    I prayed that it was a coincidence that my
    > brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
    negligee was $49.99.
    > After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
    So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
    quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you
    were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
    > filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you
    wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
    >
    > P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
    Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
    >
    > Signed
    > Rich As Hell and Free!
    >
    I thought we all needed a little chuckle and I was delighted a friend forwarded this on to me.
  2. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I'M STILL LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What a good one!!

    Janet
  3. elsa

    elsa New Member

    You got me good. At first I felt so bad for you ... then I got really mad at you ... then I wondered if this was for real .... then I started getting the joke ....

    But it was the CARLA part that sent me over the edge!!!

    Thanks so much for this ..... We all need laughter in our lives.

    Take care,

    Elsa
  4. Lynda44

    Lynda44 New Member

    toooooo funny

    Thanks for the laugh
  5. busybusymom

    busybusymom New Member

    You had me, too!!! I needed something to laugh at today!

    Jennifer