A question about dying what would you do if you knew?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ckball, May 21, 2007.

  1. ckball

    ckball New Member

    We all know we are going to die. But if you knew you only had a year or 6 months to live, what would you do.

    I lost my 1 of my 3 best friends. She was a nurse for 30 year and was dxs with Hep C about a year ago. She had 3 daughters 24,22 and 14. The last time I talked to her she told me her numbers were improving. She really didn't share alot about it. Just the everything is holding steady.

    Her kids were spoiled and took advantage of her by using her as a babysitter, but she loved her 2 grandchild one 18 months, a girl 5 months. No was not a word in her vocabulary.

    I asked her if she told her kids how seriously ill she was and she gave a quesionable yes. When her daughter called me I asked her and she told me no they did not know how sick she was.

    Mona was a wonderful, giving person and I beleive she knew she was dying and chose not to tell us. I understand not wanting to be a burden but wouldn't you want to make the best of what you have left?

    The sad part is she died May 2 and I just found out. I had been trying to reach her for a couple of weeks. The last time I talked to her and she was going to move in with her exbf, they were still friends. I went to her house and no one home so I left a note and assumed she was with him and would call me soon.

    Her daughter called me Sat night and apologized but they could not find their moms phone book and didn't have my number.

    So I never got to tell her goodbye, but I always told her I was here for her everytime I spoke to her.

    I am curious what you would do if you knew your time was limited? Thank you in advance for your opinions. Carla

  2. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I'm so sorry about your friend.

    I lost my Mum in January and my Brother in April, I didnt get to say goodbye to him either as he had cancer and was getting chemo. I had 8 weeks of bronchitis and wasnt allowed near him because of the risk of infection. He went into a comma and died.

    That is the hardest thing, that I didnt get to talk to him, didnt get to say goodbye so I do understand how you're feeling about your friend.

    What would I do, well I'd need the energy to do anything. If I had that and some cash, I'd take my family and go away to a private villa abroad, somewhere nice and warm, maybe the French midi and spend my time with them.

    Really I'd just want to spend my time with my family.

    You didnt say what you'd do Carla.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/21/2007]
  3. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    If I knew I wouldn't be here in six months or a year I would spend much of my time praying for my children and my husband. But I do that now, so I guess that wouldn't change.

    I'm not sure I would tell the girls (29 and 23) until it became obvious that I was ill. I wouldn't want them to change how they looked at me and treated me.

    They already know I'm fragile and help me with things like the monthly (if I can) trip to Costco. I just lean on the cart while they run down the aisles for what I need.

    I'd probably spend more time with my sis and bro, my kids and DH, and my dog!

    I'd continue to work if I could, routine is very important in keeping spirits up.

    Eat what I want, sleep when I want and take off work just because it's a nice day! And, I'd stop worrying about how much pain med I take!!

    "Don't be fooled by disguises: Your troubles are brillant opportunities disguised as impossible situations. Those who recognize this truth are experts at turning lemons into lemonade."

    That's my attitude towards problems and I like to think I would have the same attitude towards life's end.


    Choose joy!

  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Thank you so much, Fight I know you lost your freind last year in a matter of minutes. Rosie I remember your mother dying and your brother too. I am so sorry for your losses.

    Bean I agree with you by 95%. I would tell my daughter, and grandkids 16 & 11 and my friends. But I would not allow any pity parties only happy parties celebrating what I have accomplished and knowing that I will be going somewhere where I will no longer be sick and see the loved ones I have lost.

    Part of me would want to max out every credit card and do the things I haven't got to do yet, like go to Hawaii, Austriala and Alaska. But that responsible part of me knows I couldn't really do it, but...I have paid those people quite a bit over the years, I still have my sense of humor.

    I am just trying to understand why she suffered in silence, I would have made more of an effort to have gone see her. You know we get busy with life and one day turns to two and so on. She had never implied this was life threatening. Serious but treatable.

    I do choose joy and am going to step it up a notch. I had a scare last week when my Missy got hit by a truck in front of my house. The person was here and was leaving and Missy chased him and tried to cross in front of him and got her feet clipped. She is ok, she has some cuts and her feet are sore. I sure hope this taught her a lesson. Went to the vet and had her checked to make sure because at the time he nor I saw it. He has a big truck and could not see her and I was on the other side. I just heard the yelp.

    So more quality time with them is top on my list. Thank you ladies for your kind replies and {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
    to all-Carla
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I agree w/ Fight. Wouldn't be much different. Now if one knew AND had a sudden influx of wealth, that might be different. Trip around the world or something.

    Here's a verse by Judith Viorst, a prolific writer who puts out slim voumes of poems w/ funny titles like:

    I'm Too Young to be Seventy and Other Delusions.

    On Not Being a Good Sport about the Fact That I'm Going to Die One of These Days

    Unlike the season, no springtime will follow my winter.
    Unlike a clock, my twelve midnight won't tick-tock toward one.

    The wind's at my back and it's turning me into a sprinter,
    Rushing along on a journey that's soon to be done.

    Unlike a book, I can't start again from the beginning.
    Unlike a video movie, I cnnot re-wind.

    The ice that is under my feet keeps on thinning and thinning.

    Do I mind? Do I MIND? You bet your sweet *** I mind.

  6. Fmandy

    Fmandy New Member

    Carla, I am so sorry for your friend's death. Death has swept through my family and friends this past week and today.

    I really do not know. I would consider turning off the switch on my own time line though. I think that is really all that I would want, and that is exact control of the end time.

    Rock, the poem is great. Finally I hear someone speak what must be on some of our minds, sometimes anyway. The poem conjures up the ever so sweet hope of.....Heaven......Another life......>end>never? Energy = Mass times the speed of light, squared. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only changed in state (solid, liquid, gas). My twenty something grams is headed somewhere.

    Cheers to all,