A year out of college and LOST

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rfarwell5, Sep 30, 2008.

  1. rfarwell5

    rfarwell5 New Member

    I've been out of college for over a year. I have a dead-end desk job that not only exacerbates my pain, but is one that I find boring and mind-numbing. I've read all of the depressing posts on the boards of people who miss "the gold old days" when they were having fun and being successful in their respective careers...but what does one do when they are all but defeated by chronic pain and fatigue before their career even starts???

    I refuse to give up. I want to do something productive with my life, but it is so much easier to stick with the job I have (which only makes matters worse). I go to work, go to my apartment, eat, sleep - repeat cycle. I'm miserable. My degree is in political science, but since my condition set in I have become obsessed with medicine and biomedical research. But I don't have the time or money (or energy...) to go back to school. And I have this defeatist (or realistic?) attitude that it is only a matter of time before my condition forces me to the sidelines.

    I need some guidance! Thanks
    [This Message was Edited on 09/30/2008]

    JEANSKI New Member

    I understand what you are dealing with. I got sick before I could even finish high school. Talk about depressing.

    I had to learn new ways to achieve happiness and a feeling of being productive. It is difficult when the world is going one way and you feel like you are heading in another direction.

    The good news is there are a million different ways to live your life. Yes, we have limitations. But everyone does in some way or another. It's what you make of the life YOU have.

    I hope you can find YOUR way. Don't stop looking. You will find it. Your certainly not alone.
  3. vannafeelbettr

    vannafeelbettr New Member

    and only then will you be able to move forward with your life. You have anger, resentment, frustration, and hopelessness eating away at you..... and that will only FUEL how horrible you are already feeling. The first year of my disease, I worked fulltime (that included 2 12hr days , no breaks, no lunch hours on my feet,) and cared for a 2 year old and a baby. Of course, this all eventually caught up to me. But, when my new doctor discovered I did all this with 2 herniated disks and fibromyalgia, he asked me point blank, "How the hell were you able to do all that." I simply replied to him that I am good at being able to focus, letting nothing get in my way.

    I don't want to get away from the point I'm trying to make for you. It's just that when you finally can ACCEPT you have this DD, all this resentment, confusion, and drama will disolve and you will be able to FOCUS on what your next step in life should be. A great step you already made was reaching out and admitting you need help and can't do it alone. These message boards have been a Godsend to me. I have gathered so much information and advice, and feel such a sense of kinship and understanding, that I can honestly say I am feeling much, much, better than I have ever felt since this disease has started. I was able to put together a protocol to work for me. Hopefully you will be able to do the same;)

    Good Luck and Feel Better Soon!!
  4. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Remove your illness for just one moment and you'll be in the same exact spot as 50% of college graduates. Then add a few years and the rest of us have been there in our 20's, then our 30's, some times in our 40's. I laugh with my kids and tell them I STILL don't know what I want to do with my life!

    Life is an everchanging journey. Being flexible is definitely a requirement to happiness along the way. You'll find that the road you 'thought' you were going to take, has made a little detour, sometimes a sharp turn, sometimes you'll just park on the side of the road for a while til you figure which direction to go in. All is okay.

    You have an added challenge - your illness, but have no doubt, you'll still find your way. Don't expect to know what you want TODAY for TOMORROW - just know what direction you want to head in. Adjust your attitude a little bit, try to enjoy whatever scenery is near you.

    Don't take your youth as a negative. Yes I'm SO sorry that you're dealing with this at such a young age, but you do have many many years ahead of you to decide what you want to do, where you want to be and I bet it will change, probably a few times.

    You said it - You refuse to give up - that's fantastic. You have a great attitude about that. THAT in itself will get your far. It is absolutely okay to have days where you feel 'lost'- we all do, at any age, with or without illness, I believe that's just part of life.

    I'm so glad you posted and reached out! Do you have a good support system? To me, that is critical.
  5. Atlanta8

    Atlanta8 New Member

    I am in a similar position - I was just forced to drop out of uni/ my social circle and move home. I can now barely go out and I'm just sat in bed putting on weight! Like you, I'd LOVE to study medicine, and was hoping to progress onto it as a postgrad... but looks like that's not going to be possible now.

    I dont think you should accept it though - to me, that means you're giving up. Don't stop fighting - hopefully there's a treatment out there for you. To me, it's not even an option - I WILL get better. I might even make it to med school one day.

    I think you're in the right place now though - all the information on this board is invaluable - I've learnt so much since I've joined!

    If you want to get in touch, my my space number is 106328734

    Dream big - and never give up :)