Accident and FM . Any advice?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by katvwolf, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. katvwolf

    katvwolf New Member

    I really need to vent, so for anyone who reads this, thank you for reading!

    As I posted last night, I've had fibro since 1995. It started after I fell on an icy sidewalk onto my back. My mom also has fibro.

    The past two years have been the most difficult pain-wise. I have active triggerpoints all over my back and in my neck and I have terrible sciatic pain, which became consistently unbearable during and after the birth of my daughter (she is two). I often feel tired and have frequent fibrofog. I've been experiencing numbness in my hands lately...

    Anyway, on New Year's Eve, my hubby and I actually went out on a date-the first in six months without the kids! After our date, we tried to stop and pick up a cake at ColdStone for the kids and my parents, who were visiting. The shopping complex we went to was packed with people and it was bitterly cold, so my hubby decided that he would drop me off at ColdStone to get the cake, drive around and then pick me back up. A lot of people were being dropped off at the movie theater there and there was a big line of cars in front of us, dropping people off. My hubby put the car in park 15 feet or so behind the line to let me out.

    I was halfway out of the car when the sixteen year old driver at the end of the line decided that it would be a good idea to slam fullforce on his accelerator in reverse without looking. He slammed into our car so hard, he damaged the hood of our car, the driver's side headlight, sidepanel and driver's side door. Our car was deemed undriveable today by our assessor (we knew the damage was bad, but we thought it driveable-oops!). Because we were in park, there could be damage to the transmission and who knows what else.

    I know you all can understand how I am feeling right now. Upon impact, I pulled muscles in my neck and back, which has flared up most of my trigger points and I have muscle spasming and new spots of pain. After the accident, I stood next to the car, shaking from head to toe, shocked and in pain. I tried to massage the spasms out of my neck, which was pointless, as most of you know. The kid who hit us wasn't even sorry, but cocky and rude. His parents happened to be in another car and saw the whole incident, so they ran over to us. The kid's mother asked me if I was okay and I told her no, still shaking uncontrollably from head to toe and holding my neck. She actually got pissed off and HUFFED away, indignant!!! Most people would have offered to call an ambulance, but she was just that inconsiderate and rude. The parents were nasty to us, beligerant about exchanging insurance info. and chastised us for wanting to do things by the book/involve our insurance company (apparently, "the last time this happened" the other driver allowed them to fix his car without involving insurance). Because the accident happened on privately owned property, the police refused to come and document the accident. We immediately were on the phone with our insurance company and filed a police report, as we were supposed to do. The kid/his parents did not call their insurance company to file a claim or place a police report.

    It has taken nearly two weeks for our insurance company to locate a policy on these people, since they gave us limited information. Our insurance company had to threaten legal action on them because they couldn't find their insurance policy and the people weren't returning their messages. When the kid's father finally called our agent, he told her the WE hit his kid!!! I'm in shock! I guess I'm naive to think that a parent would want to teach their child to be honest, have good morals and values, etc. Given their behavior at the scene of the accident, I don't know why I'm surprised-their son never even apologized for his carelessness.

    What makes me sad is that I gave the kid the benefit of the doubt. A lot of people would sue for the kind of pain I'm in, but I took pity on him, thinking of stupid mistakes I made at his age. I do have to do things by the book with my insurance company/the police, but I wouldn't sue. I just want the kid who hit us to take responsibility and have his insurance pay for the damage he did to our car. I haven't even been to see my doc, because I know there is nothing he can do for me. I'm taking my tramadol and a 10mg dose of amitriptyline at night to sleep, which aren't taking all the pain away. I won't take narcotics.

    I'm just miserable physically and emotionally about the whole thing, devastated that they lied. I hope our insurance company can prove that the kid hit us...

    I'm thankful he didn't hit a person and that my kids were not in the car, too.

    Has anyone been in a similiar situation? Any advice?

  2. katvwolf

    katvwolf New Member

    No, I haven't been for a massage, but I've been reading a lot about myofascial release/trigger point massage. Is it any good?

    I have a friend at "home" (New Jersey), who is a massage therapist. She recommends that kind of massage for me, although she does Swedish massage herself. She said my back feels as though I have lumps of concrete in it! EW! LOL...

    Thanks for your feedback. Really appreciate it!

  3. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    That is unbelievable. Hopefully, the police at least have a record that you DID request they come take a report. And, I am sure a good adjuster will be able to recreate the accident and determine from the damages, whom hit whom. I would also think a good body mechanic will be able to tell too. Hopefully you will be exonerated.

    I would have gone to the doctor for treatment, as then no-fault would pay for your treatment. Oh, maybe you don't have no-fault laws in your state?

    Anyway, I hope you feel better fast, and that your insurance company kicks their lying butt. AND, the penalties for committing Insurance Fraud is BIG. Don't worry, Karma will get them.
  4. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Katvwolf:

    Go to your doctor and have a complete exam. Explain that you were in an accident and have your doctor document all areas that you have any pain, stiffness, swelling, etc. You should not have to suffer due to someone else's stupidity. Did you happen to get any witnesses names or numbers and addresses? This can sometimes be very helpful. If you only have the teenager's parents it might be more difficult for you. The only good thing is that they cannot really be considered reliable withnesses, due to their connection.

    Make sure that your doctor records all areas that are sore, or painful...and take a copy of the notes with you. Send them to your insurance agent, and have him present them to the teenager's agent. You should get some money to repair (or replace) your car, a FREE loaner car while the work is done on your car, and you could be entitled to pain, suffering money.

    Good luck to you.

  5. painintheeverywhere

    painintheeverywhere New Member

    and I am so sore. I am almost 40 and somehow felt that I had enough experience to avoid most accidents. On Tuesday and elder, handicapped couple ran a red light and made a left turn in front of me not even giving me 2 seconds to stop. I ended up T-boning the side of their car. I had two kids in the car that I was babysitting 9 and 2. I was so scared that they were going to be hurt, but so far - they have not had any signs of pain.

    I ended up trying to punch the air bag down so it would not hit the 9 yr old girl in the front seat. In doing so I broke one arm and bruised and burned all my knuckles, arms, chest and abdomen. My back and neck hurt and I have a headache that has lasted since the accident.

    I am absolutely against sueing or taking advantage of insurance in any way, however I went to a Chiropractor for the first time on Friday and they (of course) told me to get an attorney. I am thinking about it, but it has never been my way.

    Anyway...the best thing I could suggest is to get everything documented with Doc's and take pictures of any bruises or problems. Physical therapy might help you - but if you go to a Chiropractor they can do it at the office.

    Is it any wonder that the poor kid acted the way he did with parents like that? They are creating a teen-monster and they will probably pay out of pocket until it hurts them enough to re-evaluate their teachings.

    I hope your insurance persues them enough to make sure he is held responsible. He should also receive a ticket!

    I hope you feel better soon. I think we hurt enough without these accidents.

  6. Jeanette62

    Jeanette62 New Member

    Dear Katvwolf:

    I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. My daughter had a similar thing happen. She was in the parking lot at the community college when a young kid about her age (18) backed into her car. Later he lied and said she backed into him. Since she didn't get any witnesses the insurance decided it couldn't be proved one way or the other who was at fault. We had to pay our deductable to get the car fixed. The only consolation was the insurance didn't consider it a chargable accident since there was no way to prove who's fault it was so our insurance rates didn't go up.

    By the way my FMS sx started after a fall too. One thing I learned after the fact is not to blame sx on the FMS as there could be spine problems involved. My neck and shoulder problems were the result of cervical spinal stenosis and I ended up having surgery. The fall also damaged my lumbar spine causing DDD. Initially I thought it was normal pain following the fall only it never went away and then it was too late for me to get covered by workers comp.

    Get yourself an appt with an orthopedic spine doc to get your neck and shoulder sx evaluated.

    Good luck to you. Hopefully justice prevails this time and you will be able to prove the truth.


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