Actual Medical Chart Notes OOPS!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lenaw70, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. lenaw70

    lenaw70 New Member

    1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.

    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

    7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

    8. The patient refused autopsy.

    9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

    11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.

    12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

    14. She is numb from her toes down.

    15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    16. The skin was moist and dry.

    17. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

    18. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

    20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.

    21. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

    22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    23. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

    24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    26. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. ____, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

    27. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

    28. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

    29. Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
  2. Cakedec

    Cakedec New Member

    Don't you wish we could read what they write on our charts!
  3. emiltim

    emiltim New Member

    I think they got number 19 off my chart!!!!!roflol

  4. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    ONLY chest pain??? I think I would hurt all over!


  5. minimonkey

    minimonkey New Member

    Okay, that literally had me laughing out loud -- too, too funny. I think #27 is my favorite.

    Thank you for the chuckles....
  6. Empower

    Empower New Member

    And you wonder why we can't get better????!!!!
  7. swamper

    swamper New Member

    This was the best laugh I've had in a long time~outloud and a real belly laugh...thank you for the healing endorphins! I even suspect I will sleep better tonight as a result...Where did you get these? Is it okay to copy them to send to others? Thanks again for the humor...Have a great day/evening...
  8. Highlandrose

    Highlandrose New Member

    Will laugh over this one for days! Thanks much for posting it.

  9. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...and we laughed so hard we could hardly stop!! I still have tears running down my face!

    Wherever did you get these from??? Absolutely hilarious!

  10. sydneysider

    sydneysider Member

    I love to joke with my friends about the ridiculous things that doctors have said to me.

    I'm gonna be very naughty, and circulate this incredably funny list.

    AAAAAAHHHHHHH revenge is sweet.

    Thanks for the laughs
  11. twix

    twix New Member

    Haven't laughed so much for a long long time!!!Thanks

    When i worked in nursing,i had a Dr. order Tylenol grs X for constipation.LOL

  12. angeljoe

    angeljoe New Member

    I love this post! I need a laugh today and this was right on time. Thanks for the giggle
  13. yagottalaff

    yagottalaff New Member

    A large brown stool ambulating in the hall?!?! These cracked me up on a day when I needed a good laugh. Thank you!
  14. mistress-o-pain

    mistress-o-pain New Member

    Can I have some of that?
  15. Somewhere

    Somewhere New Member

    I haven't laughed this hard in years. I can't pick my favorite because I would have to read them all over again, and I don't think I could stand it!!!

    I hope everyone gets to read this.

    Thanks for posting it. I too shall probably sleep better.


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