Actual medical records by Dr. Duhhhhhhh

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by daylight, May 19, 2009.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Actual Medical Records

    A collection of documentation statements actually found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we are afraid) a doctor or two at several major hospitals:

    * The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
    * Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
    * The skin was moist and dry.
    * Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
    * She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
    * The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
    * I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    * The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
    * Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
    * She is numb from her toes down.
    * The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    * Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
    * While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
    * The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    * The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
    * Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
    * Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
    * Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
    * Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    * When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
    * She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
    * Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
    * On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
    * The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
    * The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
    * Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
    * Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
    * The patient refused autopsy.
    * The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    * Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
    * Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
    * Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    * Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
    * The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    * Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    * The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
    * Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
    * Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
    * Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

    Sorry all had to post this . It's just to funny.
  2. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    I think I had some of these docs! LOL!

    Thanx 4 the chuckle!

  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    too funny!!!!!!!!!!

    brainfog anyone?
  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Thanks, these are historical!!!

    [This Message was Edited on 05/20/2009]
  5. daylight

    daylight New Member

    I have read several medical files of what doctors have written but never have I seen anything this bad (funny). Whats even worse is that I've never seen a doctor go back and change a mistake that they wrote for the patient . However they will change re write things if they are being taken to court. I know of that being done.

    Always proof read your medical paperwork. But keep in mind that they doctors hardly ever admit to mistakes.
  6. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    thanks for the laugh. Those were great!!

  7. Doober

    Doober New Member

    Can you imagine what the malpractice insurance rates would be for these DRs if the insurance companies got a hold of these?????
  8. daylight

    daylight New Member

    most patients don't look at there records so the insurance companies for the most part are ......un where (wink,wink) . People need to be more directly involved with their health care.
    But since most of us can't afford an attorney ,these doctors get away with this kind of junk.
    This is just the funny /stupid stuff that some doctors wrote . I have false statement in my chart that really missed up my treatments .

    At one of my visits I came in with a fever ,vomiting (with a vomit tray on my lap) ,trouble breathing and chest pain. This "doctor" proceeded to tell my husband that there was nothing physically wrong with me but he (the doc) sent me for a chest xray, Which showed pneumonia.

    Now if you look in my chart on that same appointment . It says patient is showing no physical signs of distress and down the page it says temp. of 101 ,complains of vomiting /nausea

    In the doctor note he wrote that he believes that I may have a somatic illness but got no information out of the husband to prove it.

    And all along I had pneumonia. Of course I never went to this doctor again but my chart looks like I was a difficult patient. Nothing happened to this doctor after I reported the problem.

    I don't trust doctors anymore . Just because they have a MD behind their name doesn't mean that they learned anything in medical school . Heck people are graduating high school and colleges that can't even read.
  9. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    I had some records one time , that had another persons surgery notes in mine. gave the date of birth the person was 70 yrs old.. I at the time was in my late 30's..

    not to funny when its your medical records.

    anyway thanks for the laugh.