Add Your Goofy OneLiners to this Silly Joke

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by zenouchy, Dec 19, 2006.

  1. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Add your Silly One-Liners!! The first 5 are examples. Nothing too silly or stupid! Have fun! Erika :)

    My Resume.....

    1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I
    couldn't concentrate.

    2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it,
    so they gave me the axe.

    3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -
    mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

    4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

    5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my
    life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

    6. Erika/Zenouchy's One Liner: I considered being a mathematician numerous times, but it just didn't add up- Plus, the people weren't into equality, which was a big minus for me. Too bad.

    7. One More: I tried being a photographer for awhile, but my friends thought I was being too flashy....

  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Those are pretty good. Here are a few more:

    Our survey shows you don't need to worry about that.

    I'm getting you and the Dalai Lama the same thing: nothing!

    West of Hollywood is Mae.

    My dad can outdrink your dad.

    At my age everything is over-rated except peace and quiet.

  3. Bruinz

    Bruinz New Member

    My bicycle won't go fast, I think it's Two Tired.....

    I would tell you about my new car but it's a Saab story.

    Balderdash is NOT my rapidly receding hair line....

    [This Message was Edited on 12/19/2006]
  4. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    I used to rake leaves until that job blew over and I decided to leaf.

    I once worked at a golf course, but arriving late was par for the course, and I kept making comments that were out of bounds.

    I tried working at a bowling alley, but everyone went on strike, and their minds were in the gutter.

    I grew Christmas trees, but it was all fir nothing, and I pined for a better job.

    I worked for Viagra, but the salary came up short, and the company had no growth potential.

    I used to work for an undertaker...sorry, got carried away.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/19/2006]
  5. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    When I moved here to fillintheblank, OH, one of the first things I needed was a shovel. Almost immediately I returned it.

    Naturally the sales person wanted a reason.

    I told him every time I try to dig, I hit a rock. I need a different shovel.

  6. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    You all come through every time with the best jokes! Very impressive indeed. Have a wonderful night.

    Erika :)