Advice from other parents with young children

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Jonescat, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Jonescat

    Jonescat New Member

    I'm having a rough day today with the pain and fatigue and it's only 9:30 in the morning! My ds is only 12 months old and I simply do not know how I'm going to get through the day with him. How does everyone else deal with this? I'm not able to take any medications for the CFS and fibro other than extra-strength tylenol (and that just makes me sleepy) as I'm still breastfeeding. I am intending to slowly wean my ds over the next few months but since he has a ton of food allergies I'm concerned about him getting his nutritional needs met without the breastmilk. Anyway, that's a story for another day.
    Right now I could just use some encouragement and advice as I'm feeling like a horrible mommy and just want to go back to bed.
    Thanks, Carolyn
  2. mylilcherub428

    mylilcherub428 New Member

    my daugter is now 21 months old. luckily i dont have to carry her around anymore so that helps. I spend alot of my days feeling like a bad mom also. But she gives me a reason to get out of bed. You can only do what you can do. But you really shouldn't beat yourself up. That only makes things worse including your pain. Im sorry I guess I really dont have any words of wisdom right now I can only let you know you are not alone. Just give em all the love you can that is the best we have to offer! Good luck
  3. ritatheresa

    ritatheresa New Member

    Yes, I do understand what your going through, although my daughter is now 10, I've been suffering for years.

    The guilt for me has been the worst, God only knows that I've given her my all, yet always felt horrible as a mom.
    Guilt serves no purpose and can actually be really debilitating for me. I know I'm always comparing myself as a mom to everyone else,(of course I'll never measure up to the standards I've set in my head of what a "good" mom is or should be)

    My hat goes off to you, your certainly not a horrible mom, you'll get through the day. Take it a minute at a time. I know when I look to far ahead I get overwhelmed.

    My sister has young children and she actually makes baby food in her food processor. She puts it in ice cube trays and defrosts them like two at a time. I know you were saying your baby has alot of allergies so I'm not sure if that would help.

    Have you tried soy milk, my sister only gives that to her kids, they seemed to do better on that.

    If nothing more, please be gentle on yourself, your baby is lucky to have a mom like you, I'm sending up some extra prayers for you today.

    Hope you feel better, Ritatheresa
  4. Jonescat

    Jonescat New Member

    It really does help to know that others are out there going through the same thing as me. It's been a rough day (and baby boy won't nap for me!) but I'm chugging along. I appreciate the advice on the soy milk but, unfortunately, he's very allergic to soy, dairy, eggs and peanuts. I used to do the frozen food cubes too and that was helpful when he was first eating solids but now he mostly eats table foods. He had peas and carrots with potatoes mashed with olive oil and chicken broth for lunch. I followed that up with a rice cake and a jar of baby food (peach, apple, oatmeal combo).
    As for guilt... that's something I really need to work on. It seems like I feel guilty a lot about being sick with CFS and fibro. I feel guilty that I can't work, that I can't be physically fit, guilty that I can't be a better wife, etc. and so on. I know I didn't ask to be sick and that I shouldn't feel guilty but it's so hard sometimes to not feel that way.
    Anyway, it sounds like my boy is tearing his crib apart while I write this reply so I better go back to check on him. Thanks again everyone.
  5. wyattsmom

    wyattsmom New Member


    This is my first post, I usually just read what everyone has to say. Your post struck a cord in me. I have an 18 month baby boy who has food allergies and I still breast feed him. Soymilk makes him sick and he hasn't taken much to ricemilk. He is the most precious thing in my life. He does wear me out! I don't know, but little boys are so active! My son climbs everything. Anyways, My Dr has been giving me B12 shots weekly and that helps tremendously with the fatigue. I work during the day~ and I try to only take pain medicine at night. Your son is older now, and there are many medications (narcotics, NSAIDS) that are compatable with Breastfeeding. I have even had pain shots from the hospital for migraines which do not affect him at all. I understand the scary feeling that it hurts to even move from the couch to get down and play or chase him. More than anything, the B!@ shots have helped me. Just to have energy means the world for me. I am so glad to connect with another b feeding mom with a son who has allergies!!!
  6. Angel6801

    Angel6801 New Member

    Even though I had no advice for you... All I can say is.. Take one time a day.. It can be tough to take care of child and breastfeeding at the same time. BElieve me, I was there. I am 23 and is single mom of soon to be four years old daughter. I didn't have any medications for the pains. I was breasfeeding my girl until she was 2... *one of my dr though that was really GREAT*

    I think the important thing is that you take a lot of rests.. When your son is sleep, go sleep... That what I was doing a lot. It is hard cuz I am full time student, so my mind was filling up a lot of things. I had my part time job.. But Had to quit cuz it become too much for me to handle everything (and with the anxiety, that doesn't help any).

    I am sure that you are a good mommy! Take care.

  7. wyattsmom

    wyattsmom New Member

    One more thing...
    I don't want everyone to think I take a lot of pain medication while breastfeeding~ I don't. There is a lot of medicine that is compatable with breastfeeding, especially with older infants. Dr. Hale is the guru for knowledge on breastfeeding and medications. If you put a search with his name, his website has a lot of information.
  8. Jonescat

    Jonescat New Member

    It is great to meet another breastfeeding mom who is dealing with the food allergies. What allergies does your son have and how did you find out about them? My son has had eczema since he was about six weeks old and despite eliminating all known allergens from both of our diets he still has a flare now and then. I'm sure there are other allergies he has to food that we just don't know about yet. Of course, he's also allergic to cats and dogs but I just can't find it in me (nor can my husband) to get rid of the pets. We run a couple of air cleaners and I vacuum when I can to try to cut down on the dander. Also, we don't allow the pets in Joshua's bedroom.

    How do the pain-relieving drugs affect you? One of my concerns is that they'll knock me out too much and I won't be able to find the energy to care for Joshua. Extra-strength tylenol makes me want to nap for hours that's why I only take it at night after Joshua has gone to bed.
  9. wyattsmom

    wyattsmom New Member

    Well, I wait for my husband to come home to take strong medicine. He is wonderful about watching the baby. I hope you can find something that helps with the pain. The medicine my DR says is very commonly used in Breastfeeding women is Lortab or Vicodin.

    My son is highly alergic to cow's milk protein. It sounds like your son has more allergies. Kudos to you for being so strick with you diet! I work in an Elementary school, and with today being Valentine's day the ice cream and chocolate everywhere is killing me !! I want it!!!
    I am SOOO Happy to meet you. So many people think I am crazy for still feeding my son...
    take care!!! We have Dogs and cats too, I don't think I could part with them either!
  10. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    Brand new Mom here, seriously my son is eight days old!

    I know my advice probably won't mean much since I am very new at this but I just wanted to write in.

    Landon has refused to nap today at all! Which of all days of course he had to choose today. LOL I am still very weepy from the hormone shifts, I think I am coming down with something because I am running a fever, have a sore throat and literally can't take a sip of water without having to go to the bathroom. (I will spare you the details! LOL)

    I am so worn out that I feel zombied and just want to crawl into bed and forget about being a Mom today. I know that sounds so harsh and horrible but that is honestly how I feel. For so long I have been able to just go to bed when sick or feeling yucky but now I can't, I have a baby to take care of.

    I started to get overwhelmed around lunch time but you just can't. I am a very guilty person too. I feel guilty about things that don't even relate to me! REALLY! I felt like such a bad Mom for wanting to crawl into bed and just say forget it but I am human and so are you!!!!!!!

    We all have bad days. Heck we all have bad weeks! someone else said you LOVE your son and if you love him as much as I love my little bundle of joy (which I know you do) than that is THE most important thing!!! That person was right, there are a lot of kids out there that aren't loved and we can hear in your "voice" the love and dedication you have for your son!

    I know I am completely rambling here and that what I am saying probably isn't even helping but I just want you to know from one Mom to the next (no matter how new I am at this) that it is okay to feel overwhelmed, sick and tired!

    Oh and about the pain meds, I am doing both breastfeeding and formula but taking certain pain meds are okay. I didn't need them right after delivery but I have a few issues in my "area" that I need them for. (Again I will save you the details! LOL)

    I don't take them very often but my OB said that it won't hurt the baby.

    About them possibly making you sleepier than you already are, they might. Who knows! I know that is a bad answer but you won't know until you try it. Maybe one day when your hubby is around you can try it out. Personally they help me feel so much better that I have more energy to do things. That was the case when my FM and CFS were really bad as well.

    I hope this helps! I really just feel like I have been rambling here but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone!!!


  11. Jonescat

    Jonescat New Member

    That is wonderful news! Thank you so much for taking the time to write your note to me. I remember those days and it was so hard to find time to even go to the bathroom let alone check my e-mail. I also remember the pain down there - unbelievable. I couldn't find a comfortable chair for like a week. I think I carted a pillow around with me everywhere. It is amazing how much you love that little person isn't it? I don't know about you but it was love at first sight for me. I keep saying how beautiful he was despite the fact that his head was all squashed from delivery and he rarely opened his eyes for more than a minute or two at a time.
    Please don't feel guilty for wanting to go to bed all day. Especially for the next few weeks do all you can to find any rest whenever you can. I really wish I had rested more and let the laundry pile up. I can't believe I was worried about the house being dirty for the people who came to visit. Being a new Mom is a tough job and no one should expect more than that from you.
    So, how much did your son weigh at birth? My baby was born at 8 pounds 13 ounces and is currently (at 12 and 1/2 months) 28 pounds. Some days I don't know how I can pick him up but I do. You just do what you have to do and get through it.
    Anyway, congratulations again and thanks for writing. Please let me know if you have any questions about the breastfeeding. I feel like a pro now that I've been doing it for over a year.
  12. Jonescat

    Jonescat New Member

    Sigh... chocolate... cakes... ice cream. Well someday. I also get a lot of amazement from people when they find out I'm still breastfeeding with my baby's allergies. However, I really do believe it's been worth it both for him and me. Everytime I start longing for a brownie or something I think about how silly it would be to give up the breastfeeding for just a brownie. However, I do look forward to the day when I can eat whatever I want again. I have a list in my head of all the foods I plan on eating (in just one day!) when I've weaned him. It was a little rough for me today. My husband offered to take me out to dinner but with all my son's allergies I couldn't think of what would be safe for me to eat. I just don't trust something I haven't prepared myself and I feel bad grilling the waiter on ingredients and preparation methods. On top of that my son's eczema is finally starting to clear up again after a really bad flare (corn is apparently a no-no) and I'd like to keep it that way so I can finally get a one-year portrait done at a kid's photo studio. Anyway, I'm rambling. It's late, I'm tired and achy but I wanted to write back and say I'm also glad to find another breastfeeding mom with issues similar to mine.
    BTW, if you (or anyone else who wants to discuss breastfeeding, food allergies, CFS and fibro!) want to send me a private e-mail my address is