After 8 mos, I ventured outdoors today!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Applyn59, Jun 6, 2003.

  1. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Hi Everyone,

    Today, for the first time in about eight months, I emerged from my cocoon.
    Oh, it was so wonderful!

    Well,technically. last night I tip-toed into real life when my neighbor came to visit. First time I had contact with someone other than my mother for a very long time. I called her to see if I could use her hot tub. She stayed for two hours and when she left I was sore, numb and exhausted! I was so wound up from the commotion that I couldn't sleep! Even though I was totally exhausted, and taking meds, I could NOT fall asleep until after 10:30 am. I told my mother to wake me up around 1:30 ( I usually sleep until 4 or 5). I never feel refreshed anyway, so I was determined to take that first step. I awoke with swollen eyes and a splitting headache. However, I had told myself that hook or crook, I was going to venture over to my neighbor's hot tub. I had been trying to do this for months. Been too tired or too sick. I took some echinacea last week that I think helped me feel a little better. I felt really awful but the thought of that nice, warm
    water kept running through my foggy brain. Wasn’t sure if I had the strength.

    I had to get my hot tub gear together, complete with clip on sunglasses and the wrap arounds to go on top; lots of water; my towel, the telephone, (I was going to be alone). Off I trudged to my much missed refuge! I unhooked the gate (which they put in for us) and entered my very own tropical paradise. When I arrived, I noticed I forgot my towel. I was already tired and sore from getting ready and walking there but I trudged back home to retrieve my towel.! My neighbor was there when I arrived, so she opened the tub for me, which can be difficult depending on what hurts.

    Oh, the minute I stepped into that hot tub, I became drunk and giddy! I truly am an Aquarious in every sense of the word. I have always loved the water and the ocean. Just turning on the jets and hearing all that beautiful, bubbly water was so intoxicating. Whenever I am in the hot tub, I feel like I am at the ocean. I love the sound, the feel, the warmth - everything! Colorful plants
    and flowers are in abundance as are birds partaking of the feast awaiting them at
    the bird feeder. Squirrels run up and down the fence and scamper across the yard.

    My eyes started to bother me after awhile, but I didn’t care. I was just enjoying being outside and drinking in the scenery. Mind you, we live live one block
    from downtown and here I am with the birds and squirrels in a hot tub! One that I don’t have to take care of. One that I can use whenever I want. Something
    that I can enjoy and use, without hurting myself.

    I have many health problems and more hearthache than joy, but because of my generous and caring neighbor, I will hopefully recover a little, bit by bit. The last time I went through a really bad flare, the hot tub was the only thing that put me on the path to feeling better. Had I not had the opportunity to use it, I know without a doubt, I would not have had the strength or energy to withstand the past year as my mother went through surgery and chemo, a blood clot and more surgery. I had access to something that let me relax relieve anxiety, not to mention my aching body.

    All of this because of the kindness of others. I am truly blessed to have a neighbor who, two years ago, INSISTED I go into her brand new hot tub. She knew that it was good for FMS, Mere words cannot express my appreciation and gratitude for bringing some
    Joy and hope into my otherwise joyless and hopeless existance.

    Hopefully, I will sleep more peacefully and reverse my internal clock. If all goes well, I will repeat the scenario all over again tomorrow!

    Just had to share.
    Lynn
  2. tansy

    tansy New Member

    and I hope it has helped. What a wonderful neighbour you have.

    I was getting really concerned when reading your posts, you really have been through a lot. It would be great to learn that you have turned a corner, and managed a few things which make you feel you have something of a life; we all need that.

    Cheers

    Tansy
  3. donna13210

    donna13210 Member

    We've never talked before, but I was interested in your message. I'm so glad you have such a caring neighbor. So many of us have no support at all, and it's sad.

    I know what you mean about the feeling one gets in a hot tub. It's been awhile for me, but I remember clearly! As soon as I hit the lottery, I'm getting one! And putting it in my new mansion, of course!

    If I didn't still work I wouldn't have contact with anybody either. I hardly know my neighbors and have few friends. I'm so glad I found this message board where people understand how tired and sore I feel and don't judge me.

    Well, hang in there. And keep going to the hot tub! Your neighbor wouldn't have offered if she minded it!

    Take care,
    Donna
  4. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    THanks so much for your concern. It means
    a lot to me. The last time I was like this the
    hot tub turned me around. But then life's circumstances with my mother just took a really
    huge toll physically and emotionally. It can just
    get so overwhelming at times, as I am sure you
    know.

    Lynn
  5. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Hi,

    I am lucky in that respect. We really have the greatest
    neighbors here. I have two elderly women on my
    right, who I think of as family. I have known them since I was six. They are much healthier
    and do much more than I do! They are twice my age.
    One in particular has such a knack with gab and
    making you feel better. She calls and we can call
    and she truly cares. She doesn't understand
    FMS, but she cares. Her sister can be called upon
    at any time to take me or my mother somewhere
    if we are too sick (which happened this past
    year). I can't drive because of back problems, so
    it can be a problem. I can't walk far either due to
    FMS and back, etc. So, we have great neighbor;s
    on both sides.

    My hot tub neighbor has been a god send, too.
    She has as many health problems as I do so you
    know - misery loves company. She works though
    and lives a normal life.

    Before I went into this huge flare, I was okay and
    more sociable. I went with my mother to her chemo
    sessions and we had everyone laughing all the time.
    So that was good.

    When I am really bad, though, I just tend to isolate
    myself. People are well-meaning but no one
    understands. My best friend lives out of town but
    she will come to town and take me if I need to go
    out of town or anything. She is also a godsend.
    I email her mostly. I just can't always talk. It's
    so tiring and I often feel as though I have nothing
    to talk about. She wants to fix me. She can't believe
    there isn't an answer to this. She truly cares.
    I don't know how much she understands, but she
    is very caring and patient. She knows that I have
    bad days and won't always return calls, etc. She
    is great, too.

    I just go back and forth. Bad spells and short good
    spells. The majority of my problems are chronic
    and my flares seem to last longer than any "good"
    periods.

    Take Care,
    Lynn
  6. jstbrznby

    jstbrznby New Member

    WOW, Lynn, you really have a plate full! SO glad as everyone has said that you have such a nice neighbor. Hope the TUB helps you! I just left a post for the first time in a long time and if I had read your post first I wouldn't have posted at all! I feel so guilty to bring my problems to this board when we have friends like youwith such HUGE issues and walls and to get past! I so feel for you. But, I guess I just never get the hang of this being real, I just keep thinking it is in my head like everyone around me has said. I know it isn't, but I just had a prettly long go of being fairly well, and day before yesterday it hit me again. In fact I am anbout to go back to bed as I must get up for work tommorow. I just have to 'fake it til I make it' on Wednesday when my 2 days off get here. Your post just made me feel so bad, I really hope you get some relief from the hot tub, GOD knows you deserve it! Anyway, sorry for rattling on, YOU take care,
    WARMEST HUGS....Pam2
  7. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Thanks so much for your message.
    Don't ever feel that you shouldn't post a concern.
    Everyone here understands all that we go through.
    It's a safe place to come and vent and ask questions.
    So please don't feel like you shouldn't have posted.

    Take Care,
    Lynn
  8. Jen F

    Jen F New Member

    It must have been a dream come true to finally get out and get into that hot tub. It's terrible it is so difficult for you.

    But, I do find the following saying is often true:

    Hope springs eternal...

    Congratulations on making it to the hot tub! [Wish I could join you!!]

    May it happen again soon.

    Sincerely,

    Jen F
  9. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Thanks for your kind messages.
    I fell asleep at 5a.m and slept until 4 pm. Was hoping
    to sleep earlier, but I think that will happen as I use
    the tub more often.

    Today it was very rainy and gloomy. Plus, I was too
    tuckered out from yesterday. I was hoping to use
    it daily, but I think I should space it out and try
    every other day. I don't want to overdo it.

    It's funny that the hot tub has never helped me
    with any pain issues. I have a lot of disc and back
    problems and the hot tub sometimes makes it
    worse. FMS pain doesn't get relieved either.

    However, more importantly for me, the hot tub in
    the past has reversed my sleep cycle and also
    put me in a better mood. I love when I am IN
    the tub. The jets can be too strong on certain
    areas. More than anything, I need it for my
    sanity, depression and sleep.

    You are so sweet to care when you don't even know
    me.

    Lynn