Agoraphobia, Pain, Tired, ARGGGH!! (Vent)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Notonline, May 31, 2003.

  1. Notonline

    Notonline New Member

    Today has just not been my day...just chipped a nice chunk off of my back molar about three hours ago, conviently on the weekend (happy joy), now my teeth can hurt along with the rest of me.

    Hubby is finished remodeling our house so I will soon be moving back in, so that we can give it another go. For those that don't know, we were divorced about 2 years ago...I left and went home because I was so sick I didn't know what else to do at the time. I just couldn't live up to his expectations of the healthy, energtic wife at the time.

    I have been cleaning and preparing to move in for over 3 days now, and I honestly can not do much more, I am so d%$* tired with trying to do this, and my whole body aches all over. I have been crawling out of bed.

    I've battled with agoraphobia since I was 13, but it has become worse in the last 2 years (the worse I feel physically, the worse it gets), going to get this d%*# tooth fixed should be a real fun trip between the pain and the anxiety. I've been to quite a few doctors locally in the last few years, and I am undiagnosed for FM, but have 98% of the symtoms, and many of the symtoms for CFS (looking at the symtoms is like just looking in the mirror for me). I have the tender points, H*$$ my whole body feels like a tender point somedays. Who took the brillo to my skin while I was sleeping anyways?? I've felt like this for a long time, but really worse in the last 4 years. I am told there is nothing wrong with me, a little aneimic, healthy as a horse, do you think you might be depressed??? I AM NOT DEPRESSED, ANGRY maybe!! I HURT, I AM EXHAUSTED ALL OF THE D&*% TIME! Yes, by golly I've tried Paxil and Zoloft and they make me feel WORSE!! I ready to start wearing a sign on my next Dr. visit. ARRRGGGHHH!!

    Sorry guys I don't really have anyone else that could understand to talk to, many of you are a whole lot worse than me, I know that, and I know yes, this too will pass and next week might look a bit better. Thanks for all your help with info on the probiotics, ZMA, and such...I've been feeling a bit better...and I'll take what I can get these days. I'll be away from the computer tomorrow (spending some time at the house with hubby and my son), so no forum until Mon. Take care, sorry for posting this, no I'm not sucidal or nuts (well...maybe a little nuts), just frustrated today.

    Danny
  2. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    Hope you enjoyed your time with hubby and son.

    Maybe you will have a day here or there when you feel a little better - I hope.

    Let us hear, okay?

    Love
    Pam
  3. AC77

    AC77 New Member

    CBT is a good bet with agrophobia....if you have insurance or have the money. You Need Klonopin super STAT. (my word of the week) This will help get you over this 'hump' you are in, or I should say hell state. SSRI's are not good choices to start with inititially, in my experience. They cause increased anxiety to start with which for some fades to a calmer, dampened state. Maybe Elavil or imipramine at night could help you out. Along with a compassionate and DETERMINED doctor.

    Oh, and fill that hole in your molar with CLOVE OIL or a piece of clove till you get to the dentist. I swear it works! If you dont have that, you can use a piece of garlic or cayenne pepper. Or better yet make a mixture of all three. Wacky,,,,, but tried and true :)
  4. Bacci

    Bacci New Member

    Sometimes you just can't win with this darn disease! It sounds like you have been working your behind off to get back into this house and start this relationship again. i hope you don't flare too badly! But I know how it is, we use our energy to do the best we can and to make others happy and to live up to certain expectations, then when we crash or can't do so much next time people get disappointed in us or they don't believe us because we were able to do it at one time. That's the thing, some days ar good, others aren't. We are totaly unpredictable.

    I am having a pretty bad week mentally, dealing with all the usual dramas of how am I going to support myself for the rest of my life and what is my purpose and what is going to fulfill me...and the big one, who is ever going to date me?!!! But I keep hoping like we all do , that next week will be better and that things will start to look up. When I read your note, even thoug I see frustration, I see hope. I love to see that! I see that you have been through all this before and you are not living in any fantasy of some great life and perfect husband. You are just looking for your fair share of happiness and a way to find it in what you have been given, a husband a family, etc. I hope that you continue to take steps towarrds finding more peace and contentment in your life.

    Have a good week and best to you,
    Bacci
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Its nice to hear you are moving back into your home. Loads of good wishs and thoughts going your way!

    Don't feel bad about the agoraphobic, I have a phobia with snakes, and where I live they are more than plentyful, I learned to shoot a 4-10 shotgun to zap those slimy things when they get too close to my house(small caliber,since I have weak shoulders). Also am not a happy camper in high places and bridges either.

    Xanax is my stand by if I have to go over bridges. If not, then my knees turn to jelly.

    Other than those two, I am one feisty lady. Did you know that if someone is not afraid of something, they are not exactly sane? So I guess we are pretty sane, right?

    I am not depressed either, just get angry with the FM that I can't do the things I want to do. Thats not depression, thats just exasperation.

    I hope that tooth does not give you too much trouble, and do try what AC suggested, that one about the cloves does work! Also if you take a shot of liquor and hold it on the tooth it will also deaden it (don't swallow it!).

    Take care, enjoy your home and son and let us know how it goes.........

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. Notonline

    Notonline New Member

    Yesterday turned out okay all things considered, hubby made me dinner for a change, and we had a pretty good day. I'm still trying to air out the house, all the new construction is playing heck with my asthma, but it really turned out great for a 100yr old house that was neglected, and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Althought it might take me awhile to feel normal again after all this work lately. Thanks to everyone who replied to my rant.

    Dentist appointment tomorrow morning...and ac77 the garlic does work...(all I had on hand) and no vampires or anything else for that matter are coming within close range of me right now. Might consider using this more often somedays. LOL I agree with you on the CBT and the Klonopin, I think this might be the route to start inquiring about. I actually know how I need to progress getting out, and how to focus my mind, (been down this road before) but I need something at this point to calm me down a bit so that I can do just that...something that the Dr.'s I think just do not understand when they keep prescribing me Zoloft & Paxil...I think many need to start looking at the individual patient and listening and not just "going by the book" all of the time. I'm a very "hyper" person, the last thing I need is to be more "hyper". : )

    Bacci...don't worry about dating...always when you stop looking someone comes your way. And trust me somedays marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. When it's good it's very, very good...but when it's bad it's bad. I enjoy the good days and wait for the rotten ones to pass...they always do eventually. : )

    Hey Shirl! My mom has a .22 with "snake shot" (not sure the grain, but that's what my Dad always said it was)...she's a really good shot...& not too fond of the slimy critters in her flowers either. Black snakes here...and they can get pretty big (if they get away that is). Yuck. : )

    Thanks all!!
    Danny





  7. tansy

    tansy New Member

    When I ran a very large regional group I was at first amazed at the number of people who had become agraphobic. It did make sense though, the feelings of sensory overload most of us get and panic attacks some experience could so easily make some develop this awful reaction.

    You have been given excellent advice already. What I can add to this is that the right meds and therapy, along the lines of cbt, helped all of them. They found a brilliant psychologist who made home visits and helped them, she also took on board the physical manifestations of these DDs.

    I wish you well in this and all the other problems you're having at the moment.

    Cheers

    Tansy