all my short life...

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by strongpotofcoffee, Apr 21, 2003.

  1. strongpotofcoffee

    strongpotofcoffee New Member

    hello people.
    i dont have anyone to say this stuff to because i dont want them to freak out. All my life, I've felt numb. I'm filled with hatred, remorse, impatience, sadness, regret, loathing, depression and a general bad mood. I dont know why i'm this way. I want to be happy. I have not been joyfull since i was a little boy. i just want to be happy and satisfied. i contemplate suicide often. i just dont want to be here, i have few friends. i really have nothing i'm living for. am i genetically programmed to be this way? my mother commited suicide when i was 6. Is what was in her in me? I feel so numb. I want to snap out of it. I'm so sick of feeling this way. I have nothing. i have no one. I'm too smart to turn to drugs. I'm too stupid to snap out of this. If i was gone, would anyone care? Would i be remembered as a good person? Am i capable of heathy relationships? Can i be in love? I dont care for myself, how can i care for anyone else? each day is a struggle. I dont want to be here.
  2. danisue22

    danisue22 New Member

    you feel so bad about everything, I would suggest that there must be something that you like to do ,so get started doing it. There are alot of people out there that could use your help so why not volenteer for something.Maybe helping senior citizens . I really think the numbness you feel is from losing your mom when you were so young,you also may be suffering from clinical depression,which could be helped with meds.Are you in any kind of therapy. If not then you should be.I think it would help you alot. You say you don't want to be the way you are but what are you doing to try to change it.giving up is'nt the answer. At least if you would try some of these things you could say you tried.Your not put on this earth to be a bump on a log,start doing some things even if at 1st you have to do them alone until you find out what you really like.You have a mission in your life and thats to find you and until you do you will keep on feeling the way that you do. I hope you never take your life,what a sad thing to have happen,but theres not much anyone here can do about that .I mean we are not professionals ,just regular folks trying like you to make it in this world despite being ill all the time. Good luck Danisue