Almost 1 month and still feel awesome, but there is a problem.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by remarkb, Apr 13, 2006.

  1. remarkb

    remarkb New Member

    I have done more in the last month than I have in two years. I am so thankful for a break in this sickness. I know everyone says that it comes and goes and I may get sick again, but right now I am so happy. Provigil in the morning and Klonipin at night plus a couple of talecen during the day makes all the difference for me. The only down side to all of this is that I feel like I am neglegting my wife. As strange as it may seem for a 33 yr old male, I have little interest in sex. I think it is because I have missed out on so much that I am trying to catch up and sex is low to mid in the stack. It really bothers me cause I looked forward to having energy for sex. I would crave it, but never really felt like more than a "mild" session. I always thought that if I get to feeling normal again, my wife is not going to know what hit her. But, as it has turned out I dont feel attracted to her like I did before... I mean in a sexual way. She is pregnant, so that may have something to do with it.

    Sorry for complaining even when I feel good. If anyone has any experience with this sort of thing, please let me know.

    Brian
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I really think it is great that you posted this. You will go far in dealing with this problem we have, for you asked a good question and for the right reasons.

    Good Luck and Happy to hear of the new baby. Susan
  3. laura81655

    laura81655 New Member

    Pregnant women are BEAUTIFUL !!!! And don't you forget that ! When I was pregnant many moons ago my husband told me that I was beautiful and that my face was glowing during my pregnancy, and we also had sex. I hope you think about this one.

    But...I am glad that you are feeling better..hope it lasts when the baby comes !!

    Laura
  4. remarkb

    remarkb New Member

    I do think pregnant ladies are beautiful. I dont think it is about that. I may be wrong, but I think that part of my attraction to my wife has been her taking care of me and her understanding and loving me when I was at my lowest. Now, I feel guilty because I dont feel as close to her. I am independent so to speak. I have only been married for about one and a half yrs. I had a ten yr marriage before that. I want to make my wife feel desired, I know that is important, as I do love her and care about her feelings a great deal. Feeling better, I just cant help wanting to go in so many directions and am constantly busy with things I have not been able to do. I dont know if it is the meds or me... I hope it is not me. I want that loving feeling back.
  5. mom4three

    mom4three New Member

    Write down the little things about your wife that make you smile.
    Make a list about the little things that make her look pretty or the little things that she does that make her so adorable.

    Then write down how you felt about her before you were married. Write about all those really wonderful feelings you had. Like how she took your breath away when you got married. Things like that. See if after that list you can bring back that little light:)

    And also remember she is caring for, breathing for, living for your child:)
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Have the doc check your testosterone. Our hormones can be very messed up and that could certainly have an effect. Checking the thyroid is a good idea too. I'm glad you are feeling better. I hope it continues.

    Love, Mikie
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

  8. dancingstar

    dancingstar New Member

    Hi Brian,

    I'll bet it has something to do with the meds...usually does. Also, I agree with Mikie that you might want to have your hormones checked. It's amazing how these illnesses and the meds we take for them affect our hormone levels. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling so much better!!

    Bebe
  9. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    SO glad to hear how well you are doing.

    My guess is, if you do some "little" things to make your wife feel desired and good about herself...She might not really care so much about the actual sex until you get meds, hormones, etc fixed.

    Thoughtful cards..little gifts that only she would want..something that says you KNOW who she is...magazines on her interests...some little things to say welcome for the baby when he/she gets here, pretty bath things, charm bracelet for memories, dinner out...night with friends...believe me, she will know you care about her!

    Jana
  10. HagerTX

    HagerTX New Member

    Brian,

    How long have you been taking the Klonopin and at what dose? Prolonged benzodiazepine use can cause loss of sex drive as well as a more generalized emotional dulling/flattening. I've also heard that this can happen at some point after a significant amount of stress.

    I took Klonopin in the wake of a bad neuro reaction to the antibiotic Levaquin. I had to take Klonopin and Valium to stay calm and somewhere in the mix about 3 months later, my libido went from normal to about 5% of normal overnight...and hasn't returned.

    Greg
    (age 34)
  11. remarkb

    remarkb New Member

    however I did take xanax for a couple of years... a few years ago and did not have any reduced sexual drive. I will be doing some googling on the subject as it relates to the meds. I feel that it has more to do with the effexor that I take. I did not think it could be that because I took Paxil for a long time and while it did have an effect on my ability to go the distance so to speak, my drive was as high as ever.

    Thanks for the advice
  12. Jgavi

    Jgavi New Member

    have you had your testosterone checked out?

    this is one way to get back the sex interest, energy and all around kick!

    the med's we guys take and normal aging wipe out the testosterone quickly! most drs don't even check it out...simple blood test.

    it has helped me and many other guys.

    j gavi
  13. kat-E

    kat-E New Member

    pregnancy. It is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many ways of being intimate with your wife and not all of them are sexual. Friendship is so important to a relationship. You can cuddle and have romantic dinners, movies, walks in the park. If there are hobbies that you both enjoy, you could take an increased interest in those. You can give massages to each other. I always appreciate just holding hands or kissing. Sometimes the simple things are the best.

    There are many marriages that last lifetimes where sex is not a priority. From what I understand there are many more people who are opting for sexless marriages ( saw it on the news the other night). Now, I cannot personally imagine a life with no sex but I think as long as you and your wife can agree to "mild sex" or sex less often than you think is the norm (whatever that is) It doesnt have to be every day or every other, once a week or once a month is okay, you can make it a more special moment that way and You will be happy together.