ALONE and LOST

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by 2manykids, May 7, 2003.

  1. 2manykids

    2manykids New Member

    I am Bi-Polar from childhood. I was given my DX Six years ago. Iam 30, married, and have four children. Their ages are: 13, 11, 8, and almost 2. Girl,Boy,Girl and Girl. I also have one Girl age 10 that is not mine but lives with us five to seven days a week. I am a stay at home mother and my husband workes. We are very low income so managing all the bills, house and children can be very financialy frustrating. We struggle every day with money but somehow, I always find a way to make things work. The kids have everything they need and then some. It is usally me that goes without. I love my husband dearly but he is often selfish and thinks only of himself. I do the house work, yard work, house repairs, car repairs, shopping, child care, bills, school functions, baseball practice, ballet class, dinner, laundery, birthday and holiday shopping and planning. I have not done anything remotley enjoyable for many years. My husband and I have not been out together alone in over three years. Our oldest daughter has come into the "I know everything" years and has put quite a strain on us. Our son, has many mental Disabilities and this also causes much conflict with our oldest. There is constant screaming of children in our house and I find that often, I dont sit down in a day untill after the children are all in bed. We dont have family that live near us and I have no friends. There is no one that can deal with our children so we have no babysitters. I have been off my medicine now for almost two years and I find myself sinking into nothing. I have no where to turn, nothing to do, no where to go. I sit in the house all day looking at the same things. I have no adult conversation and I feel so alone. My husband can never understand because he gets out of the house. He goes to work, to his friends houses, out with friends, to the baseball or football games. He never cleans the house or offers to do anything. I have to get into an argument with him to get him to help me. I guess I just want to vent. I dont know what else to do.
  2. deblouwhit

    deblouwhit New Member

    Hey, Hang in there! Won't your husband take you to the Dr.'s and get you back on meds?I had 4 kids and one who was mildly mentally disabled.The 2 youngest ones are still at home and I know I could just die from thier friction and fighting. My 15yr old hates her mmh 21yr old brther.She also is at that know it all stage and thinks she rules the house.My husband does make a point to get me out of the house,praise God!(I am curantly laid-off from my part-time job) and that doesn't make a person feel better either! I'll keep you in my prayers!Remember this will pass and you'll look back and wonder how you did it!Good Luck!
  3. 2manykids

    2manykids New Member

    Thank you for your words of encoragment. In answer to your question...Like I said, my husband can think of only himself for the most part. He is diabetic and acts as if he could die at any moment. He takes time off work whenever needed for his own doctors or lab appt's. I can not do that. I would have to take my children with me and I have tried that once before. The baby screams and wont let me put her down and my son and daughter fight and scream, run around acting like fool's and not only can I NOT ask the doctor any questions but I am so busy chasing kids that I cant hear anything he says or even stay seated in the office for that matter. I am so fed up. I remember once upon a time when I loved working. I was a nurse at the local hospital. I enjoyed helping people and listening to them. I would always help out in any way I could. I feel as though I have lost that part of me. I have become very cold and easily angered. When people talk of their problems, I want to tell them to shut up. My children drive me up the wall and when they are talking to me, I am not even interested. Same goes for my husband. I have turned into this awfull mother and person. I know that This is not the way I am and I dont know why I have these feelings.
  4. Littlemoosqueak

    Littlemoosqueak New Member

    Hi,Im no doctor but I think just some time out just for mom is a must.Even If its a extra long bubble bath Tell the husband You need one hour a day for yourself after all the kids are his too. I have three boys 13,15 and 17.I love them but need some time away it does a body good trust me.And as far as house work goes a man for some reason needs to be told exactly what you want him to do or he will do none he just figures its taken care of.but be gental just ask hay can you wash 3 loads of clothes today thank you or please give the baby a bath while i fix dinner. Most men will help out but you cant assume they know what needs to be done. Ive been married 17 years ,was a house wife for 15. It took some work. But just talk with Him you may be suprised. And yelling will only make you and him upset.Then maybe you can get to a doctor and get on track again just remember life is shor and also great dont let time slip away If your kids needed a doctor you would take them well remember they need you around. God Bless.