Alone for Thanksgiving

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by TeaBisqit, Nov 18, 2007.

  1. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    Since my mother passed away this year, I'll be spending Thanksgiving alone for the first time in my life. None of my relatives have invited me. They just plain don't care. And I don't know alot of people here. The few I do know, have not invited me.

    I did buy a turkey, and I'm going to try to make it. I haven't made one in a long time. It was more my mother's thing to do. And I felt that since we always had turkey on Thanksgiving, I should at least attempt to keep up the tradition, even if I am all alone.

    But it's an awful feeling to be spending it alone. Is anyone else out there all alone for this holiday season?
  2. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Why don't YOU invite someone over?

    You could even call and invite one of the people that you are hoping would invite you. You could end up getting invited to THEIR place after all!

    Well, what do you think????
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Sorry you're going to be alone. On the other hand, I would rather be alone than relive some past holidays where my father was drunk, parents were fighting, everybody was tense and upset, etc.

    If this were a movie in the 40s directed by Frank Capra you could invite some street people and know there would be a happy ending. Probably not a good idea today though.

    Are there some relatives or old friends you could call/ email?

    As the proverb says, a crust of bread in peace is better than a feast in contention.

    Maybe you want to start a thread for folks alone on Turkey Day so they can chat or post here.

  4. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I'm not inviting those few people I know. They are takers, not givers. They're always looking for what they can get out of you. In that sense, it's better for me to be alone. And as far as the relatives go, they're horrible, cold, evil people. And they don't believe in this illness. Therefore, I'm alone. And it sux.
  5. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I'm so sorry you are alone this year for Thanksgiving. Your relatives make me mad. They give you nothing but grief and then don't think of at least inviting you for Thanksgiving. That's just wrong. Is there a support group near you that you might be able to contact and ask if there are others in your boat that you can share Thanksgiving with?

    If not try not to feel badly about being alone. The same thing could easily be happening to any of us.

  6. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I totally understand, I have spent my share of holidays alone, even Christmas. My only daughter lives near Harrisburg,PA, my mother is in a nursing home in the town I live in KY.

    I lived in Richmond VA for 17 years, then my mom got sick in 2001, I am a only child, so I quit my job, sold my house and left my many freinds behind to come here to take care of my mom. I made it 3 years, then both of us were very ill and our Dr said it was time for mom to go to a NH because I was no longer able to care for her.

    My only family here is 2 aunts 89 and 85. I would rather be alone and in peace as Rock said. Are there any shelters or churches doing a dinner that you could go help with?

    Other than the time I spent living with my mother, I have been alone since 1994. When I lived in VA I use to be able to drive to my daughters for holidays, it was about 4 hours. Now it is more like 8 hours and I am not able to do it anymore.

    I am sorry you are having to go threw this, the first time is the hardest but you will get threw it. I have cooked many a turkey breast just for me and my furbies. Punkin pie too, Mrs Smith make a delicious frozen carrot cake in a small size, just right for one or two people.

    You are not alone, there are many of us that belong to this club. My thoughts and prayers are with you-Carla
  7. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    Happy Thanksgiving and yes what lovely comments you have received, I too believe your mum will be around, look for the signs of her presence

    spend the day being kind to yourself and do things that spoil you...

    there are ways for you to feel special, enjoy the peace and quietness

    We will be here for you to chat to

    angel hugs and blessings

  8. kjade

    kjade New Member

    I am very sorry about this. This must be very hard on you. I remember what you went through with your family when your mother passed away. That had me very upset.

    I'm not alone for the holidays, but we have plenty of room here - where do you live? I would be more than happy to have another guest for turkey. I make enough for 50 people (I so enjoy the leftovers) so we always have room for more.

    You have received some very kind advice here. I don't know what more I can add, but I wanted you to know I'm sorry about this. Maybe if you do decide to cook a turkey, your mom will be there with you guiding you in spirit. Maybe that will be healing for you too.

    ((((hugs)))) to you! I hope you have a good day, no matter what you decide to do. Take care.
  9. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    I've made enough food for a small army! It is only going to be my hubby, my son, and myself. I could use about 6 guests to help me get rid of all of this food!

    I baked 4 pumpkin pies and gave two of them away. I made an apple & mincemeat pie and my two guys already ate half of it!

    I do hope that everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving. Soft hugs.
  10. jewels920

    jewels920 New Member

    I was just thinking about Thanksgiving--I have to work. There are no holidays in law enforcement.

    My mom is having Thanksgiving at her house--probably the last one she'll have as her health is poor and she is in her 70s. My Uncle has terminal cancer and this will probably be his last Thanksgiving, which is why my mom is hosting it even though it's probably too much for her.

    And I have to work. I'm near tears about it and have been for a couple of days.

    Then it occurred to me. How many Thanksgivings I would dread BECAUSE I had to spend them with family! Someone would always get drunk. Someone would always start an argument with someone else. Someone would always say something incredibly insensitive to my mom or to another family member.

    IMHO, the holidays bring with them so much expectation. Whether we're with family or friends or alone, we can never seem to live up to the expectation of what the holidays should be. That just seems so sad.

    And you're not alone. You have us. :)

    Oceans of love and many hugs.


  11. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    And Hugs :)

    I made my turkey, and I surprised myself. It came out very good. And I have plenty for tomorrow, too.

    It was still awful to do this alone. My mother and I were very close. We were like sisters and best friends. So this is very hard for me.

    I'll be spending the day alone just watching movies, and pigging out.

    All I can do is hope the future holidays are better and less lonely.

    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone :D
  12. jewels920

    jewels920 New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I understand it completely. Holiday traditions have changed due to loss of family members for me, too.

    Between pig out sessions, drop a post or two here or on the FM board. I'll be checking and posting all night.

    Much love to you.

    [This Message was Edited on 11/22/2007]
  13. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I think you're incredibly strong and you're handling all this really well.