That is how I feel this moment. I spent time with my mom today. (Mom has PD, Depression, anxiety disorder). We went to hair appointments together. Then my father in law, my husband and our baby joined us for lunch. After, our baby and I went to my parents house so that I could give her a bath. The day was going well up until then. While there I felt myself becoming increasingly aggrivated by her comments. I've been trying to get help for my parents because I'm not doing well emotionally. She doesn't want anyone elses help and said between all of her other comments, "Why would I want anyone else to bathe me?" I responded surprising myself, "Why would I want to bathe you?" Her tears and comments on how hurt she was went from there and I couldn't take it so I ended up arguing with her. She got her bath but I left upset and angry and what good was my help as she was upset too. This all sounds simple but doesn't feel simple. Actually rereading this it sounds silly butI'm tired and not feeling right. I feel like no one understands and I feel angry and frustrated. I don't have any money to help them so any help they get has to come from them as in getting support other than my help. I spent lots of time applying for IHSS and other aide and they didn't qualify. I've spent lots of time looking for help and there is no understanding that I can't do it. I need to work, I need to spend time with my baby and husband, I need to feel like I can breathe and I need the understanding that I can be there without being there. I need to feel the love of just being loved as a daughter not for what someone expects from me or wants me to do. That's not happening. There are things that I just can't take. Maybe some people can but I can't and not having money, energy or time should say enough but it doesn't, not even for me. And I'm sick of relatives that call from 3000miles away to give advise or comments that are unwelcomed.