Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bolsky, Mar 5, 2003.

  1. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    I am fibromyalgia and untreatable depression and fear of being around people. I hate to go outside for fear of seeing someone. I am always so tired i could fall asleep at any moment. Sometimes while playing with my daughter or reading or driving i just fall asleep. When i wake up in the morning im so depressed that im still here and have to face another day of pain and misery. Nothing has worked for me so far. I was diagnosed with FMS in 1995. I have been ordered to preform community service and would like to know if anyone knows if it can be done at home. I homeschool my daughter because i cant get her to school and cant drive for fear of falling asleep. Im so tired i can barely function. I dont know what to do. Id just give up if it werent for my daughter. im just so tired of being sick and tired. I see no chance of my life getting any better.
  2. teawah

    teawah New Member

  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Hi Bolsky, you are not alone my dear lady, we all have those awful feelings sometimes.

    I don't understand you falling asleep with Fibro? I have Fibro now for twenty years, my problem was not sleeping.

    Could one of your meds be causing you to fall asleep like you mentioned?

    I raised my three children with this illness, so I know what you are talking about. Just getting out of bed in the morning was more than I wanted to face.

    You will make it, so please don't feel like you want to just give up. Like the other lady told you, your daughter is the most important thing for you, she does need you, so you need to find some help for yourself for her sake.

    Hon, we are all 'sick and tired of being sick and tired'. You can to the right place for support, we can all relate to how you are feeling at one time or the other.

    Are you sleeping at all at night? If not, that could be the reason you are falling asleep in the daytime.

    As for the community service, you might want to make a post to ssMarilyn, she was a police officer. Also you could call the courthouse in your area.

    Again, welcome to the board, and I do so hope you will be feeling better soon. Let us know how you are doing, alright?

    Shalom, Shirl
  4. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    I take prozac for depression and xanax for anxiety and methadone for the pain from the fibromyalgia but only in a very small dose. If i dont take it i cant even move. I cant sleep at night no matter what i take and ive tried alot of sleeping medications. When i wake up in the morning im so tired that it takes me until about six or seven oclock at night to even be able to function enough to go to the store and clean the house a little bit. I starte falling asleep before i took the methadone. Thanks for answering my message.
  5. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hello Bolsky and Welcome to the Board. It sounds as though you're going through an extremely difficult time. But from the way you've described your health situation it sounds to me that you are not receiving proper health care. Are you seeing a physician or a therapist or both?

    As a therapist myself, what you described--anxiety, fear of people, fear of going outside is classic textbook Social Anxiety Disorder (also known as Social Phobia). In Social Anxiety Disorder there is an unknown, constant, phobic fear of people--any people unless you know them very, very well and feel safe with them. You fear people will want something from you; fear they will speak to you; fear they will reject you; fear they will judge you; fear they will approach you; fear they will touch you; fear you won't know what to say, what to do, how to respond; fear you will humiliate or embarrass yourself; you avoid social situations that provoke anxiety and panic attacks--so you stay home sheltered in your sanctuary; you avoid groups, dating, social activities, and any situation that causes you anxiety. And having this Social Anxiety Disorder itself causes extreme anxiety, deep depression, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, poor self concept, and lack of an inner self. It causes feelings of shame, guilt, ugliness, despair, hopelessness, suicidal tendencies, constant overwhelming negative thoughts, bad feelings about yourself, thinking something is terribly wrong with you, inability to sleep, exhaustion, sleeping during the day as a way of avoiding seeing others or having social interactions....Social Anxiety Disorder can conjur up all kinds of fears and phobias.

    However, you are not crazy. Social Anxiety Disorder is not a mental illness. Millions of people suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia), and it can be easily treated if diagnosed correctly. As these disorders fall under the professional expertise of mental health professionals--physicians know little about them. This disorder is common and nothing to be ashamed of. I'm a 53 year old therapist, and I suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder for most of my life, went to graduate school and diagnosed it myself, got treated for it, and now I'm fine.

    You go to a good therapist, tell her what you wrote in your post or show her your post, and she will immediately recognize the symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder. The treatment is very simple. There is a pill--a medication called Paxil which is specifically designed for Social Anxiety Disorder. You take it, and over a period of time the anxiety goes away, the fear of people goes away, the depression goes away, the ugly negative thoughts go away, and you are no longer a prisoner of this disorder/phobia. You see a therapist once a week (generally free due to low income) and she helps you over the rough spots, builds up your self-esteem, improves your self-concept, and enhances your self-confidence.

    For underneath all that phobic fear is a wonderful woman just waiting to be set free. The therapist can also advocate (stand up) for you in Court about your situation and arrange for you to do community service at home, with her, or someplace your comfortable. She can also connnect you with additional resources to help you financially, with food, clothing, household needs, and many other necessities of life.

    Boksky, this Social Anxiety Disorder can be easily treated, but left untreated will not only ruin your life--but be passed on by example to your daughter. She will grow up and act just like you. For instance--does she go to school, does she mingle with other kids, does she have friends, is she invited to parties, does she go places??? Or is she shut up in the same solitary prison as you? Are you teaching her the joy of life....or a life of fear?

    Please call your local Public Mental Health Facility and make an appointment. Don't worry about the cost because you will qualify for the lowest or no fee. Request a female therapist for I believe you will be more comfortable with another woman.

    You don't have to live in this fear, misery, and isolation when it can be so easily treated. Please do this for it for your daughter. It will set you FREE! Best it* do it* do it* Carol....
  6. ssMarilyn

    ssMarilyn New Member

    Might be able to be served at home if they actually have something you can do there. Of course you would probably have to drive to a different location to pick up whatever it is you'd have to work with because they probably won't deliver it to you. I really can't think of anything you could do at home though. Community service usually involves working out in the public, anything from picking up trash along the highway, to serving food on a soup line. You'd have to talk to whomever is in charge of your case.

    It sounds like you have sociaphobia and need to be seen by some sort of counselor or doctor. I don't know if there are meds for that or not, but you do need to see someone about this. Our children learn from us and imitate us and you don't want your daughter to grow up with your problems. She needs to be in a school with other children, learning to develop social skills, learning to get along, share and solve social problems. Please see someone about this right away before it gets worse and spreads over to your child!

    Marilyn :)
  7. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    thank you for answering my problems. i can drive a little but have to be alone because i sometimes fall asleep at the wheel. I am seeing a doctor for all of my problems, we just cant seem to find the right medication for whats wrong with me. Ive tried alot of antidepressants and they only work for a shor while and then they end up making me sick. Youre right, i dont want my daughter to end up like me, that is my biggest fear. I am so afraid that i am such a bad influence on her that i have thought of sending her to live with someone else. I would hate it she ended up like me. Thank you again for writing. I really do appreciate it. I also have no self esteem and i think im one of the biggest losers around. I hate myself.
  8. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    thank you for all of the information. I live in council bluffs iowa and finding a good doctor is very hard here. Ive lived here five years and thought i finally found a good doctor but now im not sure. everytime i go in a see him all he does is write me alot of new RXs and tells me to come back in a month. i was referred to a shrink and he never called me to set up an appointment. i called them to find out why and they didnt have a reason they just said they would give him the message again. this is the fourth time now so i give up on him. ive seen him before and dont care for him anyway. he doesnt talk to you he says if you need to talk to can talk to a life sucks everything is wrong and i cant get out of this situation and its just getting worse. i just want to give up.
  9. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    thank you for all of the information. I live in council bluffs iowa and finding a good doctor is very hard here. Ive lived here five years and thought i finally found a good doctor but now im not sure. everytime i go in a see him all he does is write me alot of new RXs and tells me to come back in a month. i was referred to a shrink and he never called me to set up an appointment. i called them to find out why and they didnt have a reason they just said they would give him the message again. this is the fourth time now so i give up on him. ive seen him before and dont care for him anyway. he doesnt talk to you he says if you need to talk to can talk to a life sucks everything is wrong and i cant get out of this situation and its just getting worse. i just want to give up.
  10. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Bolsky~~Having suffered for years from Social Anxiety Disorder myself I KNOW how hard this is to do've got to become more assertive with your doctor. Write down what you want to say and give it to him to read at your next appointment. He has a moral and ethical obligation to treat you. If he hasn't given you Paxil yet, write it down and ask for it next time you see him.

    Look at it as a blessing in disguise that this male shrink did not return your call. You already said you didn't like him; that he didn't help you when you saw him; plus I honestly believe that you will be much more comfortable and thus make much faster progress with a female therapist. Write it down if you have to, but ask your doctor for a referral to a female therapist.

    You are not a loser. You have a legitimate, common Social Anxiety Disorder that can be easily treated with medication and therapy. You have suffered needlessly from this disorder for so long that you think you are this disorder and you are not. Your self-esteem is so far down in the tolit that you can't see the solutions right in front of you. Yes, it may take some effort on your part--but do you want to get better or not? It's a choice only you can make.

    Your daughter needs her MOTHER and a normal life. She doesn't need to be sent off and abandoned because you would not make the effort to help yourself. I KNOW how scary this all is to you, how the fear makes you feel like your dying inside--and my heart goes out to you....but you gotta put one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, and do what you have to do any way you can do it.

    Print this entire post off and take it to Court with you on the day of your hearing and give it to the Judge. ASK FOR HELP. Can you hear my heart beating? Carol...
  11. bolsky

    bolsky New Member

    if you dont even know me and you have this much faith in me then ill do the best i can. ive sunk so low that i dont know if i can ever get out of the mess ive gotten myself into. i do want to be happy again and lead a normal life with my daughter. she is so smart and beautiful and i dont want to ruin her life and thats what i think is happening. im gonna start tomorrow. its gonna be very hard and very scary because ive been this way my whole life it seems but i am going to try and im gonna try hard. thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me and offer your advice. i will let you know what happens if youd like. thank you again. chris
  12. rock961

    rock961 New Member

    If the community service stems from Welfare-you can get a medical release from having to do it. I went through this and also had to appeal their decision that I could work. I finally won. Don't know if this will help-hope so.
    Good Luck
  13. GradgirlJen

    GradgirlJen New Member

    I feel exactly the same way. I cannot stay awake for hardly anything! I have had so many other tests. Unfortunatley, my doctor now thinks that I have multiple sclerosis, since fatigue is a major symptom. I am now bothering my doctor about a drug used for narcolepsy, sometimes used for fatigue in MS, called Provigil. If I don't try something soon, I'll just sleep my life away! I sleep about 15 hours per day and I could sleep more too. I know exactly how you feel. I say get re-evalated for other possible causes. I am in the process of waiting for my MRI to check for MS.

    Good Luck,
    [This Message was Edited on 03/07/2003]
  14. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Chris, it's nice to know your name. I DO have FAITH in you because I suffered so horribly from all those social anxiety fears for most of my life. And if I could overcome it--you can--anyone can. No one realizes how demoralizing, humilitating, debilitating, and horrendous the anxiety and fears can be unless you've experienced them yourself. Clear up into my adulthood, I would get invited to parties and worry and stress myself out so bad just trying to make myself go. Then, I'd spend hours getting ready to go to the party, be all dressed up, and couldn't get out the door! People thought I was stuck-up, conceited, or weird because I would avoid them--but nothing could have been farther from the truth. I was shy, filled with anxiety, had this undiagnosed, untreated social phobia, and was terrified.

    The ONLY time I felt comfortable, safe, or at ease was when I was alone in my home. I called it my Fortress of Solitude. When home, I wouldn't even answer the phone unless I knew for sure who it was calling me. When I was called on in class to give a presentation, my heart pounded so hard I thought it would explode. I was afraid of almost everything. I conjured up fears alone at night. My thinking was always negative. My mental attitude was filled with doom & gloom. And I felt like such a fraud and a bad person. I felt guilty all the time, and I didn't know what I was guilty of. While growing up, I would spend hours just hiding out in my room. I lived like a prisoner behind a Wall of Fear, and I thought that that was just me--just how my life was. God, how I remember those horrible, horrible days.

    Yet, deep inside I wanted to be happy; I wanted to have friends and laugh and go places and do things. I wanted to accomplish something worthwhile in my life, and I envied all the other people who made it look so easy--who seemed to have no problem. I spent half a lifetime asking myself over & over, What is wrong with me?" I longed to be "normal"; I ached to be free of all the anxiety and fears that hung over me like a thick molassas.

    And when I found out that I had a very common, ordinary Social Anxiety Disorder that could be easily treated with medication and therapy.....I couldn't believe I had wasted my whole life being so miserable, thinking I was crazy or something terribly wrong with me....when it turned out to be a disorder that wasn't my fault, was easily treated, and beneath all that fear and anxiety and low self esteem was this wonderful, incredible person--ME--just waiting to get out and discover all the terrific things I could do. I just needed treatment, some help, and some confidence.

    So, do the things we've talked about in this thread. Take on one thing at a time. Practice. And, remember, remember, are not looking for perfection--you are looking for progress--no matter how small or how big. And you'll need to have your doctor take you seriously and examine each health concern you have. The extreme tiredness needs to be evaluated and treated; the falling asleep issue needs to be evaluated and treated; the depression needs to be diagnosed and treated; the social anxiety disorder needs to be officially diagnosed and treated, and you need to get a referral to a good, female therapist.

    BUT, one thing at a time; one step at a time; one foot in front of the other. Every night before you go to bed, sit down and write out one or two things you are going to get done tomorrow. And when that old fear and anxiety rears its ugly head, you just kick its ass and say, "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BEAT ME TODAY!" And then get on about doing what is on your list.

    But, one of the first priorities is to become more assertive with your doctor--for find a better doctor. It sounds to me like the doctor you have is just blowing you off because he thinks he can. Write the things down that you want to say and take it to him. Make a little PROGRESS every day. You may slip every once in a while and fall back into the clutches of that fear & anxiety...but just pull yourself back out of it and know that tomorrow is a brand new day.

    Let us know how you are doing and about your progress. We're here for you. Take care and give your beautiful daughter a hug from us! Carol....

  15. catgal

    catgal New Member