am I alone

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kagom, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. kagom

    kagom New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I have just been diagnosed with FM afer suffering for several months I guess. I have had several MRIs, blood tests, and x-rays. I have been to several doctors and I feel like they all don't care and treat me like I'm crazy.
    The pain and fatigue is the worst part of it all. I think I have a good attitude about all of this but I think I have been trying to hide how I really feel. I feel helpless. I was working full time, going to school part-time with 3 kids and a husband. I went from being a happy hard worker to a sad, stressed and dependent person. I have been out of work for 4 months and have not been paid for 2 months. Now I and facing eviction, late notices from everyone in the book. Its not easy to go from supporting others to being dependent. My doctors are all passing the buck on filling out my disability paperwork from my job and I feel like no one can help me. Going thru this has made me depressed and stressed out even more because I feel alone and the doctors and disability company don't care If my family has no food or home. My husband was a stay at home dad before all of this so we have no income at all. I just feel like all of this is my fault for taking on so much. I always put others before myself and now I have FM. I don't know what caused this and I am really confused about it all.
  2. coolma

    coolma New Member

    read your message. first time for me in the chat room and I felt compelled to enter yours because of your desperation. I have been there - home 12 years now with fibro (mine was extreme). I have managed to rebuild my life and remarried! I don't work but can maintain a small home, husband and even engage in social activities in the community. First, you must find a Doctor that knows something about FM. Check out this website for a doctor close to you. Seek and you will find. Second, find a Rhematoid Arthritic specialist who knows something about FM. They ARE out there. Search for it - ask around - the best resource? Other people with FM. Seek out a support group, call the local Arthritis society (it's not arthritis but is usually linked with them) There will be someone who has it near you, I guarantee it. Ask them what doctor to see. cHECK out the Community Care Access Centre in your community for a start. Then, fight like crazy to get your insurance coverage. Do not despair. It took me two years to get my coverage from my company, and I was declined twice. Not enough documentation. They need MRI's, anything from a good specialist. Documentation is key. Stand your ground and insist. The verdicts on fibro vary - my specialist insists it came from disc degeneration in my neck. I also had two severe accidents that while I wasn't laid up with any broken bones, it definitely did something to my body. And STRESS, I still believe is a major factor. All your symptoms are coming from somewhere - your specialist is key. Second, I lost my job, had to go on welfare to support my kids (they were teenagers but our needs were great). I also sought out my local church. Believe it or not, it was my faith that pulled me through more than anything else. I turned to the scriptures to read about faith, promises and blessings to the obedient. The church helped us out with food and even paid a few bills until I could get coverage. It took me two years for the company insurance and 2-1/2 years for my pension up here in Canada. I don't know what the laws are like in the U.S. There will probably be coverage for emergency prescriptions, and a prescription coverage for people in destitute circumstances. Secure all the aid you can find. Don't be shy to pull in any resources you can. There is usually a book the Government puts out with resource facilities in it. Find it. Try the library. In Canada, it is referred to as the Blue BOok. Took me 3 years to find out there was such a thing. You must have one in the U.S. Be resourceful - even in your pain. and, take your medications. You will need sleep most of all so don't be afraid to take something. You will need help for depression (it's part and parcel of this condition) so take something for that, and most of all take something to curb the pain in high pain periods. You will work your way through this in time. Believe me. You have just begun. After you have done all you can do, put it in the hands of a higher power and do what you must. If you don't find hope and faith somewhere, this will really get you down. Keep fighting and be a survivor. The body has the inherent ability to heal, but it takes alot of time. Don't rush into exercise programs and run yourself ragged seeking cures. In time, you will feel better but you must get the rest your body needs. Good luck and I hope you find comfort. You are blessed to have a husband to support you, but even that will wear thin after awhile. I found it doesn't help to voice our pain, the best place to voice and vend is to others with the condition. I wish you all the best!
  3. mossrose101

    mossrose101 New Member

    My situation is different as my husband and I both worked outside the home and we have no small children, BUT, when I stopped working because of being ill, one month later, my husband got laid off. For months it was very difficult. He was stressed about not working and providing and also stressed about all the doctors, tests and everything I was going through. He felt helpless like alot of spouses do.

    The only money we had coming in was my short-term disability from work (60% of my pay) and his unemployment. Before he got laid off, his last paycheck was a good commission check, so between that, my disability and his unemployment we managed to keep our heads above water. Of course our lines of credit and credit cards we had to max out again to get by.

    Finally after 6 months he found another job. Small salary and commission (if you earn any). At least it was something. 4 months later he got a promotion and is making a decent salary that we can depend on.

    I am still trying to catch up and have made arrangements with 1 credit card company to only pay a certain amount w/no interest, no late fees for 6 months. Also juggling the bills around and trying to pay so that no one is more than 30 days late. Not always working but trying.

    There were months when I wondered what we were going to do. To eat I charged it when I had to.

    Im sorry you are going through this and I know my situation isnt as bad as yours but NO, you are not alone.

    Hubby may have to go back to work and there will be alot of juggling but have hope. It is amazing what we can do when we have to.

    I hope your situation improves sooner than later. Please dont blame yourself for this. You cant control everything, even though we all would like to. When I was the most stressed about our situation and choked back the tears most days, I tried to look at my blessings. I know thats hard to do but they are there and things will get better.

    Hang in there!
  4. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    ... it rook years for me to be diagnosed. This FMS is a thief (like a stealth cat burglar) that robs us of our health and life.
  5. lynnintn

    lynnintn New Member

    I just found this message board and know that you are not alone. It seems like anyone with FMS is treated like a hypochondriac by their physicians and families. I am looking for a new PCP and a rheumy. I too have lost a lucrative career as a legal nurse consultant and was headed towards a 6-figure salary when I started getting sick. I will be living at poverty level the rest of my life unless I can get some alimony from my husband (we are getting divorced). If I get approved for SSD at least I will receive benefits for my children for a while. Maybe in the meantime, I can find treatment for my severe bipolar depression, FMS and some other probs that will allow me to go back to work. So I know how it feels to be sick and have no support. I am so sorry you are going through so much. I already feel like I am among friends here who really do care.

    ALso, One thing I am doing already is I buy a lot of my groceries through Angel Food Ministries. It is a non-profit organization nationwide. You do not have to be low-income to qualify. They have a different menu each month with lots of meat products. You get $75 worth of food for each $25.00 order. I get 2 boxes per month and it has cut my grocery bill by 1/3 (primarily b/c of the cheap meat. They also have extra specials, such as 8 steaks (rib-eye, t-bone, filet mignon) sometimes for only $18.00. They accept food stamps, cash and some sites take checks. Here is the link to the site to find a church near you where you can order the food:
    http://angelfoodministries.org/hosts.asp
    Lynn
  6. kagom

    kagom New Member

    I really appreciate all of the support. It makes me feel so much better. I do have some good news to share. I finally got a doctor to fill out the disability forms from my job and the doctor I saw today gave me medication for the pain. Also he referred me to a physical therapist. I feel like this doctor is trying to help me more than the others. I can talk to my husband about FM but he doesn't understand like others with FM. I will seek out a support group and fight my way through FM and learn how to manage it. I'm so happy I found you guys. I feel so much better. I feel like there is hope. I have an appointment tomorrow to prevent eviction and my husband starts working next week. I want to thank you all that reached out your hearts and prayers to support me. I feel I can be a surviver just like all of you. I will learn to live with FM and keep my faith to make it through. Thank you all again and God bless.
  7. LeftCoast

    LeftCoast New Member

    One of the most devastating parts of this illness is how quickly you become isolated from everyone including your family. Another is the self blame and guilt.It is really hard to find support but essential. This board is very supportive.

    You have to find tricks and ways of coping and getting through everyday life and balancing everything out while taking really good care of yourself. It takes a long time but it is the process that counts. You re invent over and over until you get it right.

    You are not defined by what you can do but by who you are. You are valuable and worthy regardless of your mind and body's capacity.

    Sorry to be so long winded. Take care and come here often. Thereis always someone to listen and understand with no judjment.