Am I going to last another day? My son leaves for

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cjcookie, Aug 24, 2006.

  1. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    college tomorrow. I'm not talking about the angst of missing him. I'm talking about his attitude of "I am adult" but please call my counselor and this person and that person for me. But, please don't tell me I can't take an overload of classes (with one I don't even need). And by the way, I don't think I'll have time to do that work study to earn any extra money for fun stuff.

    I finally gave in and told him that I would treat him as an adult. Here are the bills you will now owe: Your portion of the cell phone bill, car insurance, car license fee, and I'll figure out all those text messaging fees you owed before you finally got an unlimited plan.

    He then wanted the portion of social security that I get for having a child. I told him okay but then he will have to pay me back for the $1,000 plus I've spent on stuff for his apartment and school and reimburse me for the travel expenses for checking out the school, orientation, and moving in.

    Oops, almost forgot. I told him he was going to be a lonely adult if he didn't stop getting mad at anyone who gave him advice (like my parents and me). He told me I was already lonely. I replied that I have a lot of friends. He said, "yeah, your two dogs that you spend all day at home with". Yep, he understands my Fibro and the pain I'm in, don't you think?

    Please tell me someone else has gone through this and it gets better!
    [This Message was Edited on 08/24/2006]
  2. mrdad

    mrdad New Member


    So I take at the point he said that "YOU were already
    lonely", you didn't mention to him that you and the
    dogs were moving to San Francisco and in with me??

    He will change his attitude then, right?
    MRDAD
  3. sisland

    sisland New Member

    I Hear you!!! my last Girl went to college last year! and i Cried when she left~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ but soon i realized (sp) That oh My gosh I have the House to myself!! and the stress level went way down !!..............................Kids can Be so disrespectful at times !! But Yes when a bill arrives in the Mail for her I just pass it along to her ! ......................They slowly Learn What all we did for them and slowly become respectful of us again!!.........................Just think ! now you will have some peace at Home!!................And the Dogs Can't talk back and be disrespectful to you!!......................................................Hugs!!,,,,,,,,,,Sydney
  4. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I don't know if I read this somewhere or if I just imagined it but it sure sounds good to me....

    "It is a good thing (a blessing) that children get obnoxious and difficult to deal with as they get older. It makes it easier for us to let them go."

    Can you imagine if our children always remained sweet and dependent as they were when they were small, we could never let go of them.

    Sounds like your son is focused on his life, his next step and all the excitement and fear that comes with that. Love him, give him your blessing and let him go. You might have to help him from time to time, but it's important to let him stumble around a bit and fix his own messes if they occur.

    Lolalee
  5. optimistic1

    optimistic1 New Member

    Dear cjcookie,
    Please do not turn any of your social security over to your son. You have earned every penny of that and more. This is your money, not his.

    I hope that as time passes and your son is away for awhile you will become closer. This might just be behavior on his part to make his leaving easier for him. But, this is too much for you to handle.

    Please keep the money,

    Arlene
  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    for you to spend on him...but also i thought it stopped when he graduated from high school...

    not college...

    that is what ssa told me...and what i read...to understand..

    jodie
  7. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    sounds nice. My cousin's son just moved there.

    We get social security for the kids until they are 18 or graduate high school. He's only 17 (skipped a grade). Say, you child was held back, you could get it for them even if they were 19 if they were still in high school. At least that is the way I understand it.

    I kept myself scarce tonight and since I can't sleep, guess who's driving to Chicago? I'll just take some sleepy meds after we talk for a few minutes. When I wake up, we will be there! That's my hope anyway.

    The sweet thing he did tell me tonight was that he wanted to apologize because he went and talked to Grandma. I said, "Did you apologize to her?" He said not that Grandma. I guess he went to the cemetary to visit his Great Grandma that died last year. He's still just a kid and he knows it and hates it. Believe me, though, I WAS NEVER that bad! I provided some grief to my parents, but it pales in comparison. Luckily, his girlfriend sets him straight most of the time.

    Oh well, I need to pack and do laundry. Yes, at 3:26 a.m.
  8. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    to Chicago. I think he's a little lonely since none of his roommates have moved in yet. Oh well, it's nice to have him back!
  9. jinlee

    jinlee Member

    Wish I had some good advice but I don't. My son graduated from college in June and now is going to Taiwan for a year to teach English cram school. He is so imature for his age, which I sure thought I made better decisions when I was his age. He is leaving in two weeks and thinks everything will just take care of itself.

    I try to make suggestions because I worry about him thinking he knows what he is doing but Tapai is a large city and he knows Japanese language but not Mandarin, which they speak.

    Well, I guess he is just going to have to learn the hard way but they sure put us parents through hell don't they.

    My only hope is he remebers all he has been taught and learned from his parents up until now. Mine doesn't want my advice until he gets in a jam and then it is HELP.

    And we thought the terrible twos were bad!

    PS: Mine also has a girlfriend thrown in the mix in Taiwan so he is not thinking too clearly right now. Those hormones get in the way of clear thinking.

    Well, I guess we are all in the same boat with our college kids but we will still love and support them and yes, still give them unwanted advice. That is just what mothers do!