Am I Insane?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by brella, Dec 1, 2011.

  1. brella

    brella New Member

    I literally don't know what to do. I've been taking it "one day at a time", as they say, but I don't know physically how I can anymore.

    I'm in my first semester of nursing school and of course, my FM started to get the worst it's ever been about a month ago. I know I'm completely crazy for even attempting something so demanding.

    I had an MRI in 2003 showing bulging disks in my lumbar spine. Now the pain in my back is worse and it recently started in my hips too. I had another MRI yesterday. X-rays showed nothing, blood work showed nothing. It may sound weird but I want SOMETHING to show up on a diagnostic test. I want doctors to know what to work with.

    Today at clinical at the hospital my left hip started hurting so bad that it was causing me to limp. Quitting nursing school is the last thing I want to do but how will my body let me do it?

    I can NOT life like this anymore. I'm only 25 and FM is already ruining my life...
  2. misskoji

    misskoji Member

    You are certainly not insane. I'm so sorry you are so young, and hit with FM.

    That is one of the most frustrating things to deal with in FM-no diagnostic tests. Nothing really shows up in traditional testing, so the doctors assume we are OK, or that it is just "all in our head".

    Have you considered a stand up MRI in regards to your back problems? Some doctors will not order it, and some insurance won't cover it-but chances are if there is something wrong there, a stand up MRI will show something that the traditional does not.

    Nursing is a very demanding career, and the school is equally, if not more demanding. I don't want to discourage you from completing it, but I do hope you understand the importance of pacing yourself. Pushing too hard can lead to extended flares, or further disability. Whatever you choose, please keep you as the #1 priority.

    You are in my thoughts.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/02/2011]
  3. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Bless your heart. . . you are soo young to have this dreadful disorder/disease. I was diagnosed when I was 24 after having the symptoms since age 17 and I soo understand how Fibro can put a damper on your future. I was fortunate enough to be able to work until 2009. I am now on disability at age 39. That was NOT in the PLANS for sure. . . but I am blessed to at least have SSD to help me. Regarding your back/hip pain. . . you should look into seeing a Corrective Care Chiropractor at a "Maximized Living" facility/clinic. In 2009, I lost the ability to lift everything and anything. Life had to go on and I had to continue lifting at home to do chores etc. but I was at the point where just lifting the dishes out of the dishwasher was incredibly painful. I found Dr. Randy Johns in Texarkana,TX in May of 2010 and have been going weekly for adjustments every since. There are Maximized Living clinics now throughout the U.S. The only thing that has helped my back is seeing a Corrective Care Chiropractor. You can go to and get the scoop on how it differs from regular chiropractic care. You can also find the nearest facility to you by going on this website. You are in my thoughts. . .
  4. Picklington

    Picklington New Member

    Hi Brella,

    You're not insane, you're like many of us with chronic pain. I'm 26 and I work. I'm lucky because it's an office job, not manual, very flexible in terms of working from home and flexible working hours, but sometimes it's a real struggle.

    I feel I have to work in case my symptoms progress and I never get the chance to prove myself.
    I feel I have to get as far up the career ladder as possible, so that if/when the symptoms get more severe, I can work part-time and earn a reasonable wage.
    I hope that I'll become so invaluable to the company that they'll let me work flexible hours/from home as much as I need to, so that I can keep earning for longer and afford to try more treatments.
    I need something to distract me from the pain.

    These are the reasons why I, a person with severe chronic pain, developed ambition. I'm sure there are others here who are still working or studying, or who kept working or studying for as long as they could, for the exact same reasons I've listed above.

    Have you spoken to the Disability Services department at your university? Mine were very helpful when I explained how my symptoms affected my life. I was allowed to do my exams on a computer (holding a pen hurts so much it's unbearable). They gave me a Dictaphone to record lectures, a special mouse that helped minimize hand pain when using the computer and a book rest so I didn't hurt my neck looking down when I was reading. Other students with back pain were allowed to do their exams in a separate room where they could get up and move around every so often, even lie on the floor if they wanted to for a bit, without disturbing other students. You can get orange film to put over paper, which makes font easier to read - a little thing but if you're tired every little thing that helps you conserve energy is worthwhile. There's a lot of little things that can make your life easier and help you to hang in there for a bit longer.
  5. MJSLawrence

    MJSLawrence New Member

    We have some things in common. I'm 28 and recently diagnosed but I've suffered with this since my early 20s and I'm also in nursing. We certainly can't let this steer us from our goals and if you're moving in to health care and have such heart for it than it's worth the struggle. I know it is for me but it is most definitely a struggle. A benefit to nursing is that, clinicals and job opportunities aside there are possibilities out there and not every avenue in nursing is unbearably physical. I work in a nursing home now and my fibro is worse than it ever has been with the heavy load but I've been exploring other options too. There's always palliative care which is much less PHYSICALLY demanding, or home care in all sorts of different forms.

    Good luck with everything. I know it's hard.