I have had this horrible thing for nine years and it just keeps getting worse. Every year I need more pain killing, sleeping drugs and have yet to find a doctor or therapist who will stay the course with me. I realize they are healers and if they can't heal you, you must be faking it. I try to convince myself that I am NOT a loser. Just because I no longer have the ability to work, go to church, do my household chores on a regular basis, no longer have friends or any semblance of a life, I am not a loser or am I? How many of you can remember what your life was like when this DD started? Were you able to just shut life down till you got a handle on the sickness or pain? Identify what was even wrong with you? Even knew what FM or CFS was? Then could you even find a doctor who didn't think you were just a druggy telling him you had pain he couldn't attribute to any known thing in your body after he ran every test known to the medical community? The thing that frustrates me the most is that I have had sooooo many injuries and surgeries in my life that now my body won't even respond to medication so I have to up the anty and I feel like I'm constantly trying to justify my pain to my doctor, my family, myself. How can you NOT feel like you are the worst person in the world.? Please help me before I do something stupid like trying a detox center and get myself labeled as a lunatic.