An update for the Board Angels!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by missvickielynn, Apr 1, 2003.

  1. missvickielynn

    missvickielynn New Member




    Hello again, all!

    I apologize that I have not been able to get back to everyone sooner.

    While I am not suffering from the Ultram withdrawals now, I am still not doing well. I wish I could tell you all that I feel that everything will be okay now. But I am still just as terrified as I was last week. The Ultram withdrawal only served to steal a few precious days from the time I need to find solutions to my situations. Almost all the things I posted about in my post last week entitled "I am drowning" are still weighing me down.

    I did get my reconsideration papers turned in today. I called the local office, and left word on the local caseworker's voice mail that I would be bringing my forms to him, but wanted to ask him some questions before I came. Needless to say, he did not return my call.

    I was too ill to go out to take them to the local office yesterday, and the envelope that I was sent to mail the forms in, was not postage paid, and I have no stamps. So, I made the drive over to the office today, and got there 15 minutes before they closed.

    It is such a shame that the people in that office (and for the most part, all the SSA people I have come into contact with) are so unkind and unhelpful. They must really hate their jobs.

    Also, yesterday and today, I have been struggling to solve the problem of my internet provider. Another long story....but I thought I was going to have to cancel my AOL, cause I don't have the money. LONG story short, I was able to get AOL to give me 2 free months, to keep me from cancelling. Acheiving this has been a nightmare of phone calls on terminal hold, and "twilight-zone" online conversations with Billing Support. I will only know if they have really done what they promised, if the rest of this week goes by, and they do NOT take the monthly fee out of my checking account. (I have just under $400 left.)

    As I type this, I had to get my ear plugs.......because the sound of my metal storage building banging in the wind, just outside my window, is making me crazy. I guess that is my next project. I am still praying and believing God for guidance to solutions for that situation. The building is being ripped further apart every day. I have got to figure out something, before the contents are either stolen or ruined. Not to mention the MADDENING NOISE THAT THE FLAPPING METAL IS MAKING! So, I will keep in the earplugs, and keep praying and believing.

    I am going to stop now, because, well, you know how I am. Usually it makes me feel better to put all the problems out where I can read them, and get it out of my system. But I am so brain-fogged today, I can hardly type. I was trying to read some Disability Advice from the Disinissues group emails a little while ago. I had to save them to read at another time. I could not concentrate on reading them.

    My pain levels are doing much better now, thanks to the ultram. What a double-edged sword and a mixed blessing it is!!! I am taking the generic, and, like Layinglow mentioned, it give me a headache. But that is not as bad as the other pain. Of course, the warm weather here also helps to reduce my pain levels.

    Now, I want to say a special additional thanks to the people who have responded since I last posted, and to those who have checked on me.

    To Debbie (dd), thank you for posting again, and for your continued prayers!

    To Deb (Debgene56): Yes, we were posting opposite each other the other day! That was ironic! But I was very touched by the things you said to me, on both posts, and am so grateful for your continued prayer. I don't blame you for being afraid to reply to me when I was going through the withdrawal. On the other hand, I hope you have seen that I am completely open to suggestions normally.....I was just so crazed that day, and was just so frustrated at the trap I was (am) in.

    Yes, I do have Angels watching over me.........as do we all! And my day with my friend Tammy WAS truly a small vacation, where for a while, I was able to be distracted from the overwhelming problems. I am so grateful to her, and I hope that God will show me a way to repay her in some way for her help and friendship! I feel pretty useless to do anything in return for her at the moment. But I will be shown a way...I just know it!

    Starstella!! Thank you for acknowledging my apology to you. And I hope I will be able to be of some support to you in the near future, as well!

    Shirley!! Your reply was also very sweet and loving! Thank you for saying that you really understand what I am going through. To be really listened to, and to be validated, is so comforting to me. I know that nobody can wave a magic wand and solve my (or even their own) problems. But the comfort of understanding is a blessing and an answer to prayer! Thank you so much for that.......and also for your second post of concern for me, wondering if I am OK.

    Hippo!! You too! Thanks for posting back to me on Saturday evening, and for your continued prayers!

    Sweet Monica!! Bless your heart! Your posts are special to me! I am sorry I have not been able to get back with you yet. Please be patient with me on that. I am doing the best I can. The rest of this week, and probably next week, most of what little energy and coping ability I have will be devoted to prayer, listening for God's guidance, and then trial and error to solve one problem at a time. With so many things falling down around me at one time, I have a huge challenge ahead of me. (There really are a lot of things going on that I have not posted about...believe it or not!) I almost need to flip a coin each day to see what I will attempt to solve. Prioritizing the problems now is really difficult!

    I really am sorry you had to go through the Ultram withdrawal, too. I hope your husband was kind and understanding!! I am proud of you, too, for weaning yourself on the Ultram. The most I have gotten to in one day was 6 pills, and usually it was 4, maybe 5. I have had 4 today. I have not even been able to follow up on the lead Jody gave me to get a "recipe" for weaning. Don't yet know what to do about that situation.

    Also, Monica, I just got the greatest laugh when you said to overlook your typos....cause you had 2 dogs on your lap!! BT-DT!!! Two of my cats....George and Buster, the only time they want to sit in my lap is when I am on the computer! I know how hard it is to type like that! But I love them so much, and love hearing their purring, and the touch of their fur, that even when I have to reach around them to type, and even when they continue to knead my arm with their claws....I let them say there! So....I am glad to see you do the same! And...I am also glad to see another soul out there whose posts and emails are nearly as long as mine! Makes me feel less like such a freak!

    Layinglow!! Thanks for posting again to me. By now, you have probably read that I am using the generic ultram (tramadol). I am so glad for you that you have such a cautious and supportive doctor.

    I did read all the replies you posted to me, and yes, I did notice how much we have in common! That helps even more, to know that so often, we have even more in common that just these DD's! Thank you so much for your prayers and support. As I type this, I am wondering how your appointment went today? I have not read any posts on the board yet, but am going to try to do that after I post this. I will be looking for your post to see how it went today. I pray all went well. I am sure the drive will be rough on you, so take it easy for a few days now! God Bless!

    Jody!!! Thank you so much, sweet girl. You have been just wonderful to me during these past few days. I am sorry if I worried you, or anybody else, by taking so long to get back to you here.

    Your support, and the info you provided to me, meant so much to me. I hope you know that! I have not been able to follow up much on the website you told me about, other than to find it. I did send an email to that lady Doc, about needing help weaning off Ultram. But I have not gotten a reply. So, more prayers will be going into my letters to God about that!

    OK! I am done now!

    I think that is is just mentally impossible for me to make short, condensed posts! It is just a thing about me, I guess.

    For anyone who I might have missed acknowledging their reply to me.......I hope not!!! I tried really hard not to miss anybody! Forgive me if I did, but tell me, OK?

    Love to everyone, and GOD BLESS YOU ALL! You are all lifesavers! And I need you! And don't you forget it!

    Love,

    Vickie

  2. loonie

    loonie New Member

    Hi, Vickie;

    So sorry that you are in such a fix. Really enjoyed your description of your cats and your computer. I have two that mostly want to sit in my arms as I sit at the computer, but I have to pull a drawer out to type and then they have to skedaddle-needless to say I am not on their good list when I do that.

    Anyway, I would like to clue you in on a internet provider that I went to when I got disgusted with the price of AOL and their lousy service. I pay $4.95 a month and just have to put up with a little advertising as I connect and a banner on the top of the browser. If you would be interested, e-mail me at my hotmail address, and I will open it up for a little while until I get your email addy from your note. That way neither of us has to bother putting our addy up (can't remember if you have or not) The address is yoauntie88@hotmail.com.

    This can't solve everything, but I bet $5 a month beats AOL's price. Plus if you do decide to go with it I can get a $20 finder's fee, which I will give to you.

    Hope your days keep getting better, Loonie
  3. starstella

    starstella New Member

    i'm glad you are doing better. It is sweet of you to send individual messages.