ANGELS as explained by KIDS..... FUNNY as you might've expected..

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Angels Explained by Children

    I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold.
    -- Gregory, 5

    Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why but scientists are working on it. -- Olive, 9

    It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
    -- Matthew, 9

    Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. -- Mitchell, 7

    My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. --Henry, 8

    Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows.
    -- Jack, 6

    Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. -- Daniel, 9

    When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado. -- Reagan, 10

    Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. -- Sara, 6

    Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. -- Jared, 8

    All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. -- Antonio, 9

    My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
    -- Katelynn, 9

    Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. -- Vicki, 8

    What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. --Tommy, 8

    Angels help God sort out all the messages he gets every Sunday morning. ---Phil, 9

  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    The pastor asked if any one in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

    She said, “I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

    An audible gasp came from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

    She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children, and in fact, every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

    Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.

    She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

    All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.

    A man rose and walked to the podium.

    He said lovingly,

    "I'm Jim... and I'd like to tell my wife


    the word is


    [This Message was Edited on 10/21/2007]
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    thought these were funny??? or am I just weird as usual...

  4. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    I'll have to share them with my Dad- he'll love them!
  5. victoria

    victoria New Member

    you've restored my confidence in myself...
    I'm NOT the only one witht he same sense of humor...

    Sometimes I wonder cuz my DH doesn't always think my jokes are funny, or at least as funny as I do!