Angry at doctor, told me I need "willpower"

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Chelz, Apr 10, 2011.

  1. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I went to a new rheumatologist a few weeks ago. Although the visit wasn't a total disaster, it wasn't all that great either. The "good" things were he wanted me to switch the kind of magnesium I was taking and I did switch to the one he suggested and it's helping a little.

    He also told me that I was pre-disposed to having FM because I was double jointed. I wish he would have explained that one a little more but I did find it interesting.

    Now the problem.......He told me I needed just "willpower" to lose my weight. I told him weight was never an issue until I took antidepressants when I was 31 and I gained 100 pounds from them. I never had to worry about weight before those drugs. After the drugs, how in the world is someone who has FM, TMJ, chronic back pain supposed to lose 100 pounds?

    Healthy individuals would have a tough time trying to lose that kind of weight, what am I supposed to do? I went from 135 (before drugs) to 235. I was able to lose 35 pounds, but it took me almost 8 years to do. Needles to say, I never touched those kind of drugs ever again.

    I told him that I feel that my metabolism is now shot. I take supplements that are supposed to help with weight problems such as CoQ10, Vitamin D, digestive enzymes. I only drink green tea now, without any sugar, as my main beverage. I do eat portion size meals at mealtimes, I have also invested in a stationary bike (the only exercise I can do), and I have exercised on that bike for nearly 6 months, half an hour a day 7 days a week until sheer exhaustion made me quit that. I rarely go to fast food or sit in restaurants. I do all this with working a 40 hour a week job............wouldn't you call that "willpower"?

    I was angry because I didn't think he was listening to me. He just blew me off. By the way my thyroid tests including TSH, T3 and T4 were considered in the normal range, maybe this is why he thinks I just need willpower only. In the past, I never had to "diet" because my weight was really good for my height and body frame, so this was never a problem for me.

    I don't have perfect eating habits, but they are pretty good 90 % of the time. If he would have just considered the emotional aspect of how hard this is for me, as well as trying to take care of myself having FM and all the other issues, I would not have been as angry as I was. Maybe some validation that I have tried hard and "willpower" is something that I do have. Just venting, sorry about that. Hugs, Chelz.
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Amazing the density of some docs. Last wk I actually got the comment
    "You must be doing well, NO? but you look good"!

    We all know how hard it is with weight,pat yourself on the back..
  3. spacee

    spacee Member

    Personally, I think you are doing a wonderful job. Those meds must have really
    messed you up, but you are doing all you can do.

    I dislike the Rheumies I have seen. The last one told me that he was sure other
    ppl had it worst than me. What? I was just giving my medical history. I DO
    realize that others in 3rd world countries have it worst. And some ppl in the US.
    I thank God everyday for what I do have. Idiot.

    You are doing fantastic to do all you do!!

  4. DeterminedOne

    DeterminedOne New Member

    Hi Chelz,
    I'm in the same boat. Started to gain weight that I can't loose. This was never an issue before. However I never took antidepressants. Just medical foods (amino acid) and Tramadol as needed.
    I got throughly tested like you. Thyroid (TSH, T3 and T4) is normal. Sleep study, you name it. Finally my doc gave me weight loss shakes. :(
    I know myself and I believe you. There is something wrong that's making us not burn fat or sugar or something. Hang in there. I started school and I'm writing a 20 page academic paper on my experience and frustrations with the FMS docs. Feels good to vent.
  5. TigerLilea

    TigerLilea Active Member

    Hi Jamin - Not everyone has a thyroid problem. If I look at the symptom lists for both hypo- and hyper-thyroidism, yes, I have some symptoms, but not enough to consider a thyroid diagnosis. And, yes, my tests always come back as "normal".
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    There is such ignorance in the medical community regarding our special needs with these illnesses. You may be like me--it's not so much what I eat but how active I am. Well, these days, there is no way I can be active like the jockette I was for years. I hope to eventually get back to feeling well enough to work out a little but right now, it's impossible.

    Perhaps you can see someone in weight management who can help you. Yes, thyroid problems can cause weight gain but that's not the whole story. I gained 35 pounds almost instantly on an AD prescribed when I initially was diagnosed. I've never been able to lose it.

    You are doing well and should be congratulated. If it were me, I'd find someone else who can help. There may be hidden explanations why you are having so much trouble losing weight and willpower isn't one of them. Stupid docs!

    A friend of mine with cancer just had lab work done. She was directed to give something to the woman in the office. She was also given the results of her lab work. She asked the woman what she was supposed to do with the results since she didn't understand them. The woman replied, "Frankly, I don't care what you do with it!" Imagine treating cancer patients, some of them terminal, with such disrespect and downright rudeness. I know this has nothing to do with what you experienced but it just points out that rudeness, disrespect, ignorance and lack of willingness to work with patients is rampant in the medical community.

    I just left a practice in which the doc, though very nice, wasn't very competent. I was seeing his NP, Nurse Ratchet (pronounced as two words) who was both incompetent and rude. In fact, I think she is mentally sick and using her patients to abuse. I now have a new doc that I like, so far.

    Please, just consider the source and don't take this thoughtlessness personally. Find someone else who can help you. You don't need to change docs if you don't want to but you might see someone else who specializes in our problems or in weight management. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  7. inprog

    inprog Member

    One of the crunchers to losing weight is anything with a high glycemic index. So if I eat a sweet dessert, it leads to craving of carbs right away for a couple of days. Also if I work out in the gym too hard and don't eat right before going, I am ready to eat the kitchen sink when I get home. So no bread, occasional brown rice, no millet, no cereals, no fruit juice of any kind. Naturally no potatoes. I eat a mediterranean diet and am losing again and am now grilling fish on the Foreman grill that I originally got for the HCG diet I was going to try if my last ditch effort did not work. It gets a lot of fat off the fish and then steamed vegetables and an occasion handfull of brown rice thrown in. Some occasional olive oil too. Skip the olives and avocados. I have gone back to l hour work outs on just the treadmill but when I want now and am losing again. I am thrilled. I was told I have thyroid problems too and hasimotos. Bunk. I think it can be done without the pills to make you dependent. I have tried the pills and fill sick on them, totally toxic. It helps not to be around negative people too and maybe drop that negative rhem out of your life if you can. There is nothing like a positive attitude to make good food choices. When I want to bing just a little, I buy a jug of that Gatoraide G2.
    I also use glucose lowering supplements with my meals so what I eat does not turn to fat.
    Don't know if any of this helps you but you can also try the HCG diet and go to yahoo to visit the groups. It can be done. People do lose the weight.
  8. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Thank you for all your thoughtful and as always great advice. LittleBluestem, you had me laughing so hard about knocking some "willpower" into this doctor, LOL, loved it. Jaminhealth, I do believe the thyroid is a bigger deal than any of these docs are willing to explain or believe.

    I don't think my thyroid was in trouble before the weight gain, but after such a massive weight gain, I do believe this important gland could be suffering. Maybe I should go see an endocrinologist, hopefully he won't tell me I just need "willpower".

    Also, I forget who the poster was, but you had asked me my age. I'm 45. I almost did get my hormones checked because I have noticed in the last 3 months, my skin started to break out in acne like when I was 18. The dematologist I had seen wanted to check my hormones, but, because he told me that if my hormones were off, he would give me birth control pills. I will not go on them at my age expecially, but you do have a point. My age and hormones might be a problem at this point. Not sure what I will do.

    I knew you guys would understand this problem, even though I had a major weight gain, which of course not everybody does, at least not that amount, but I knew you would understand the stupidity of these docs.

    Thanks so much for telling me I'm doing well. I guess I don't pat myself on the back enough, I am very hard on myself, but honestly, along with the FM, and being a normal weighted person for most of my life, this weight I have gained years ago, is not only not good for my FM or general health, but my self esteem has suffered miserably.

    I have a new saying, "Doctors come in all JERKS and sizes", I just had to throw that one in. Hugs to all, Chelz.

    Jaminhealth, are there a lot of side effects to trying a small amount of Armour? I am so drug sensitive, and have always been, just wondering. Chelz.
  9. kezzluvscats

    kezzluvscats New Member

    I also started having a weight problem because of fms. I am on 4 meds that affect weight. Yes pills are apart of it to a certain degree. We also cannot exercise like other people so our metabalism is flat to burn of calories. I do eat for emotional reasons. My doc wants me to lose more weight. So you are not alone alot of us are going through it. I just try to eat healthy and if i am angry or hurt i eat. My mother and sister use to pick on my weight gain but i got them out of my life because they critised all my inabilities as well as the weight. HUGS BASCK TO YOU -Kezz
  10. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    While I believe in the power of the mind (greatly), why don't we all just use our willpower to rid ourselves of Fibro?

    Doctors and others don't realize that a simple comment like that can dig deeply. I wish they'd think before they spoke. In some cases, I just wish they'd think!

    While it's true, a calorie is a calorie and you have to burn more than you take in in order to lose weight, I DO believe that our metabolism can get stuck. I know for me I have to figure out a way to "shock" it or something. Sometimes I barely eat and I GAIN. WTH? I know from sheer time on earth that not eating enough will make your body hold onto whatever it can so it doesn't starve.

    There have been times when I've gone to dinner, eaten what I consider to be a large amount, then lost weight. Again, WTH? NOTHING makes sense with me, I swear.

    I am even on a medication where, I don't know 98% of people lose weight on it. Me? Heck no.

    I know I'm not active enough and I can tell because my shape has changed. I used to be able to drop 5 lbs by the weekend to get into my skinny jeans. Those days are LONG gone.
    I'm also a lot older and don't care about the weekend nights like I used to, unless it involves comfy jammies, pizza and maybe something good on TV.

    UM...I think you do way more than the average person. I don't know how you work 40 hrs a week outside of the home and everything else that life has us do. Geez.... all I can say is to forget about his comment. It doesn't deserve a second thought. I'm hoping he didn't mean harm by it, just wasn't thinking about how hurtful and dismissive it was.

    Okay - now I do not agree with the "predisposed" for FM. While it is not uncommon for people w/FM to be doublejointed, I don't think it means there is a predisposition for it.
    I remember reading and hearing in person that 80% of FM patients have problems with their necks (can't get full range to the side). I'm one of them....but because another person can't do that doesn't mean they're predisposed. That's just my opinion of course.

    PS. I got my thyroid treated by symptoms - had normal labs and didn't lose an ounce.

    Keep riding your bike without overdoing it and if you're up to it - look up Somersizing. It's the ONE way of eating that helps me lose at least a couple of lbs (gets it going) without fail.

    Have a good day today!
  11. shanrg

    shanrg New Member

    Hi! I'm sorry--altho' I've been looking (w/ the occ post to reply) at this msg board for a long time, I still don't know how to operate really! I just wanted to let you know I live close to you--30 miles south??--and I welcome you to email me if you like--I am able to accept emails from this site--as far as I know, haha! (I'd just put it on here but I don't know if that's "legal".) I hope you get this! And I hope you are feeling okay considering.
    Take care,