Angry? Do you agree with this?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tizz, Aug 26, 2010.

  1. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    I find this article interesting. Wish I could read the whole thing, of course... but the summary and conclusion say a lot:

    (CPP means chronic pain patient; APP means acute pain patient.)

    "Only CPPs were more likely to affirm anger (P ? 0.04) and chronic anger (P ? 0.01) at a significantly higher rate than community patients... For anger and chronic anger for CPPs and APPs, hostility was the strongest predictor."

    "Conclusion: According to the results of this study anger and chronic anger are more frequently found in CPPs vs. community patients supporting the clinical perception that many CPPs are angry. As such,CLINICIANS SHOULD ACTIVELY SCREEN CPPs FOR THE PRESNCE OF ANGER IN ORDER TO ENGAGE THESE CPPs IN ANGER MANAGENT TREATMENT. "

    Gee whizz, I'm just taking a wild guess here but could some of that anger be because WE OFTEN GET MISDIAGNOSED FOR YEARS and then, even after we're diagnosed, many people disbelieve/disrespect us or just blow us off?

    Please tell me what you think. Do we need anger management, or just better (and more respectful) treatments for our pain?? Would anger management help us AT ALL, to deal with the anger and frustration? Has anyone ever tried it?


    [This Message was Edited on 08/27/2010]
  2. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    Really? I think just about everyone on this board could have told these researchers that yes, we are angry. You would be too if you were in pain all of the time and countless Drs brushed you off.

  3. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    I also note that ANGER is one of the stages of the grieving process (at least according to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's famous theory) -- and I think we do all need to grieve as we are coping with the changes that fibro brings about in our lives. Grief is about loss, after all.

    Fibro does create loss. Many of us lose our jobs or have to retire early. We also lose the self-identity of being a "healthy person." Many of us question why it took so long to get our diagnosis, which can lead to loss of faith in doctors and other health care professionals. We must adapt to a life with pain (which takes some getting used to)! And many of us discover that there are people we love and THOUGHT were among our "best" friends, who aren't supportive or even respectful when they hear we have fibro. THE SAME GOES FOR OUR DOCTORS... So fibro patients can "lose" some important people in our lives, as well.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/27/2010]
  4. u&iraok

    u&iraok New Member

    Bitterness will destroy you.
  5. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    Actually one way to define "bitterness" is getting stuck in the "anger" stage of grief...

  6. u&iraok

    u&iraok New Member

    would it? How do you get out of that? Move onto the next stage of grief?

    Stages of Grief:

    Shock and Denial
    Pain and Guilt
    Depression and Sorrow
    Testing and Reconstruction

  7. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    ...are just phases that most people seem to need to pass through before they can resolve a major loss. And yes, as you pointed out, the phase after anger is "bargaining," so I guess that's the next thing most people go through.

    Thank you for looking that up, by the way :)

  8. amomwithsickkids

    amomwithsickkids New Member

    Too bad there are people willing to spend $$$ on this BS.

    As for Kubler-Ross'sStages of Grief I remember learning about it in college. Didn't care much for it then and don't care much for it now. I especially abhor the testing/reconstruction and acceptance stages. Who has to "accept" being sick? And like aussie woman said this is a cookie cutter approach. Everyone is different.

  9. quanked

    quanked Member

    yes, I feel cranky a great deal of the time--especially toward the end of the day.

    But, at times, I feel very angry and I think that some of it is due to these dd's but also due to the deterioration of this system we live in. I see a lot of angry faces out in public. My son and I talk about it sometimes--how on edge so many people seem to be. A calm, centered and grounded encounter with someone seems to happen less and less.

    And the incompetence that abounds everywhere is more than I can take some days. Then I wonder if maybe it is just me projecting the incompetent sense of self I often have because of my ability to do so little compared to the past.
  10. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Bitchy is a good word for me sometimes! I am not an angry person at all. In fact, quite the opposite, but sometimes I reach my limit, I know when I need my space for a few minutes....when I'm exhausted, in pain and my world has stopped but everything else keeps going. Yep, bitchy fits me pretty darn well sometimes.

    Regarding the stages of grief. I've heard this several times and I agree; we go through these stages several times. It isn't a one time deal once we're diagnosed.
    I think that's why we tire emotionally so much.
  11. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty cranky most of the time.

    No doubt, even as we speak, there are graduate students preparing papers on
    the subtle distinctions between patients who are cranky and those who are


    (And I'm not even in pain; just chronically ill.)

  12. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    ...and I guess he's right. [So if some grad student is 'keeping tabs', I guess they'd mark me for that one! lol]

    I would prefer to call it "irritable," myself -- I'm rarely bitchy unless something triggers it -- like a complaint from hubby about something that didn't get done (which makes me defensive, since I tend to work till I'm exhausted then quit) or my adult daughter wanting me to do something for her that she could do for herself.

    I doubt very much if the researchers who did this article on fibro would have cared what we call it, though. No doubt they had questionnaires they used, and their own ways of determining what defines a person as "angry".

  13. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I am in more of a pissy mood than anything, but that's just me.

    Also, the stages of grief are not really set in any order. People go through them at their own rate and in various orders, often reverting back to a stage they have previously been in.

    Of course, I generally scoff at BS social science studies such as this. As a naive young college student, I spent many years and tons of money earning multiple degrees in various social sciences. Now, looking back, I realize how ridiculous the majority of it is. Yes, some great information has come out of social science studies, but for the majority, it is a collassall waste of money. The whole idea is 'publish or perish,' which leads to a ton of money being spent on ridiculous theories such as this. (sorry, this kind of thing really gets my goat.)

  14. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    I wouldn't call it BS because I think it's accurate that people dealing with chronic illnesses and pain would have more anger than an "average" normal person. I think the problem lies in the interpretation ...

    I do NOT think this means we need "anger management programs." What we need is QUALITY, actually BENEFICIAL therapists who can give us support for managing chronic pain and illness.

    What we NEED is quality medical care with practitioners that not only DON'T believe that it is all in our head, but that there are treatments (holistic, naturopathic, alternative in addition to western medicine) that can help us moderate, decrease and manage chronic pain and illness.

    Again, I think what they are measuring is accurate, and a normal, healthy, human reaction to dealing with a chronic problem that most don't understand, especially when we face scorn or disapproval from other people and some segments of the medical community.

    I had my therapist (who has known me for years) tell me in the first year of my health problems "you do NOT have a mood disorder, this is not psychological, you are understandably frustrated, stressed and somewhat depressed because you have health problems that are not being recognized or treated"

    We might have anxiety and depression and many other co-related issues, but they aren't the cause of our physical issues such as fibro and CFIDS.

    And I say this to all of you now as well (because you all deserve it just as much as I did):

    You do NOT have a mood disorder, this is not psychological, you are understandably frustrated, stressed and somewhat depressed because you have health problems that are not being recognized or treated.
  15. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    "You do NOT have a mood disorder, this is not psychological, you are understandably frustrated, stressed and somewhat depressed because you have health problems that are not being recognized or treated."

    I think (at least I HOPE!) we all know that is the truth -- in the intellectual sense -- but it's still nice to be reminded of it.


    [This Message was Edited on 08/28/2010]
  16. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    "I don't feel well!!!"

    That says it all.

    By the way... NO ONE else is allowed to call me Bitchy. That would make me angry. I can say I'm bitchy (to myself) but if someone else called me bitchy well, like I said, that would make me all of the above.

    I'm usually very quiet. If I get "snappy", I follow up with "I just don't feel well." Everyone understands.

    Our sweet little dog has been snipping/snapping lately for no reason. When I talked to the vet about it, she said that 99% of the time, it means that they are in pain. (she does have some painful conditions going on) They become anxious because they are hurting/uncomfortable.
    That made so much sense.

    Even the sweetest of us can get snippy/snappy!
  17. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    I completely agree with you!

    Except for the "everyone understands" part, that is. I'm still working on getting my family to understand; it isn't easy.

  18. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    I have thought about going to a therapist. I'm still dealing with fibro as a NEW diagnosis, even though I've probably had it for about 7 years. I do feel angry and betrayed that neurologists kept calling it other things and never identified what my main problem really was so I could get appropriate treatment. I did have abnormal nerve conduction test results and I believed my doctors, even though I knew there had to be "something else wrong" because the diagnosis just didn't fit all my symptoms. (Like a square peg in a round hole...) So now I'm mad at MYSELF, too, for not challenging and arguing with them more.

    I'm dealing with that IN ADDITION TO DAILY FIBRO PAIN AND FLARES, and the fact that I'm still trying to get my own family to accept this and try to understand it a little bit. That's a lot to deal with at once.

    My worry is that the wrong therapist might make things worse. For example, if the therapist decided "my problem" was that I had "anger issues" and needed anger management. What I need most is help to cope with my situation as a whole, because I am angry and frustrated WITH GOOD CAUSE.

    At least for the most part, I think I handle anger pretty well. I mean, I'm not a violent person or anything like that, and I ALMOST always hold my tongue rather than say something mean or nasty in response to provocation.

    Tizz<br[This Message was Edited on 09/03/2010]
  19. ellikers

    ellikers New Member

    Sorry I missed your post earlier, I went away from the boards for a while.

    In regards to your worry that the therapist would make it worse, you could screen potential therapists by asking them questions about their methods and practice, etc before even scheduling an appointment. I know lots of people who have done this and my mom did this for me when I started going in high school. This way you could have some sense of whether they "get it" when it comes to chronic pain and health issues.

    Some examples of questions could be "Do you have experience providing services for people dealing with chronic health and pain issues?" "What is your primary specialty or group of issues you work with the most? (some people are marriage and family therapists, some mostly work with individuals, some specialize with helping people on issues of grief and loss, eating disorders, etc)

    In my mind, anyone who does any social work or therapy of any sort who is worth anything knows that anger is a natural part of life, especially when dealing with chronic pain or health issues because it's part of the grieving process and dealing with loss (which is what we are frequently dealing with), and they should be understanding of that.
  20. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    Ellikers, I appreciate the suggestions for finding a "good" therapist.