Angry - please pray

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by monkeykat, Aug 3, 2004.

  1. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi,
    I am so angry today. Please pray for me that I will deal with a long-term (supposed) friend in the right way.

    I wrote a letter today to express my feelings to her. I posted it on the main message board to get opinions and advice. If you get a chance, check it out, all advice is welcome. In the counsel of many there is wisdom.

    I know that God gives us many opportunities and I just don't know what kind of opportunity he's given me. I forgive her and realize she's human but I also feel I need to set limits for myself b/c it's too hard to deal with judgment and harshness when I already suffer so much.

    Thanks, Monkeykat
  2. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Thank you for your prayers. I feel God's grace and the desire to die to my own hurts and injuries. I guess each situation in life is different and God may lead us differently in how we deal with each situation.

    I need to know from the Lord whether my friend needs a measure of "rebuke" and "exhortation" by means of honest communication coming from a heart that doesn't seek to retaliate but a heart that seeks to bring truth to the forefront.

    Or does the Lord just want me to suffer this injury without confrontation?

    Jesus often confronted the pharisees with some pretty upfront, honest language and he even violently overturned tables in the temple. However, when Jesus did these things, I believe that his motive what always for the right reasons.

    I want to have the right motives in what I do. I feel the war going on between my flesh and my spirit. I just want to do what the Spirit wants me to do? Seeking counsel and wisdom from others helps b/c sometimes we can't see the forest through the trees.

    I have been thinking about the following prayer a lot:

    Prayer of St. Francis

    Lord,
    Make me an instrument of thy peace.
    Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
    Where there is injury, pardon.
    Where there is doubt, faith.
    Where there is despair, hope.
    Where there is darkness, light.
    and Where there is sadness, joy.

    O Divine Master,
    Grant that I may not seek so much
    To be consoled as to console,
    To be understood as to understand,
    To be loved as to love.
    For it is in giving that we receive,
    It is in forgiving that we are pardoned,
    And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life

    Love, Monkeykat
  3. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    I know that horrible feeling of Anger and the difficulty trying to defeat it knowing that its not in Gods will for us to be Angry, just to learn to forgive. I went thru this in June when I lost my job. I HATED my boss and his wife...especially his wife who was a rich, selfish, selfcentered stuck up,sneaky liar and nothing but an "evil" person. I was angry...REAL ANGRY...so much that I was bitter and the bitterness was overflowing into my home and my attitude. I prayed everyday for God to forgive me and to help me get over it. It took 3 weeks. But I am now over it and I feel better. I now know the real reasons behind me losing my job...it was all part of Gods plan and I now can accept it, knowing that SOMEDAY my ex-boss and his "evil" wife will have to meet their maker. I take GREAT comfort in that thought.
    Forgiving someone who has hurt you is very hard. When I went thru divorce alot of my "so-called" friends all turned their backs on me and forgot about me...I was alone and very angry at all of them as well. To this day I dont trust people like I use to and unfortunately, it stole a VERY wonderful trait I use to have and that was always being there for friends, family and even strangers. I dont "jump" to the opportunity like I use to. I regret how I have changed because of all that. Being scorned by friends family or otherwise is very difficult to deal with without allowing it to turn your heart bitter and rob you of wonderful triats that God wants us to have.

    I will keep you close in prayer. I will pray that the Lord will clean your heart of anger and he will allow you to work thru it.
    Sending you hugs and a PRAYER!

    -Diane
  4. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Diane,
    You truly do know what it's like to be mistreated. Everyone's prayers are helping me a lot. I've been able to focus on how God is a God of restoration. He knows each person who has injured me and each horrible circumstance in my life where the enemy has robbed me. If I will trust in the Lord then he will give me twice, or triple or 7x what I had before. This is how God is.

    I've been trying to meditate on how God is soverein and has allowed all of these terrible injustices in my life. He has a purpose for them. I revised my letter to my friend a few times. My husband who had a compassionate heart read the letter and felt that I should send it. He knows my heart and I hope that I made the right choice. I did not seek to retaliate or injure. I sought to bring out truth and honesty in our friendship, eventhough it was painful, for both of us.

    I will pray today that God will restore both of our hearts so that we can trust and not build up walls that keep people out. I will pray that God continues to heal our wounded hearts. Wouldn't the enemy just love for us to close everyone off? I know that God doesn't want this for me and I really want to work to have an open heart.

    Thank you so much for your prayers! They're coming back at you...
    Love, Monkeykat


  5. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi Dixie Lee,

    I agonized for the past few days in prayer considered many things. I asked my husband to be the final decision maker as to what I wrote and how I addressed my friend. I chose not to end the friendship but to leave an open door.

    I already sent the letter by the time that I read your response today. I sought in my heart to write an open, honest letter. I think it was fair. I did not write to her in anger. I wrote to her in truth and to bring out truth in our relationship. She is welcome to write me because my health isn't good enough for long phone calls.

    All of my life people have commented on what a gentle person I am. I've experienced so much pain and trauma over the past 9 years that i think I've lost some of my gentleness. I hope that even though my letter was honest that isn't wasn't too harsh. I don't know. I did my best at the time. I think your advice about being gentle is good. I hope I can regain more gentleness in my life again.

    Thank you for your prayers. I really do want to be like Jesus too.

    Love, Monkeykat
  6. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    I love your attitudes. I know in my heart that it's not what happens to me in life but how I respond that God cares about. We need his grace so bad, don't we?

    There's such a struggle to respond in love sometimes when we are hurt. But that's what Jesus did. I guess when we have to struggle to respond in love then it helps us see our own evil hearts and imperfections so that we can forgive the weaknesses of others:)
    Love, Monkeykat
  7. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Thanks Sarah & Dixie,
    I guess my letter did express a lot of hurt. I think sometimes people need to know how much they've hurt you b/c if I didn't tell her I know I'd close my heart to her.

    I just began reading a book called "The Spirit of Truth" by Arthur Katz. I hope that being truthful will help both my friend and me. It's just hard being so truthful. I would be easier to forgive her and drop the friendship w/out addressing these hurts.

    Well, God, have your way in each of us today and please forgive us for all of our faults & failings:) Help us to each keep forgiving our friends and learn to be honest and truthful as well. We really want to please you!!!

    Love, Monkeykat