Annie Cromwell (and others) re: Autism

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Kimba4318, Jan 25, 2007.

  1. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    HI Ann and whoever else is reading this.

    You said I could ask questions (thankfully) so here is another one.

    My friends child seemed to have potty training down for about a month or so and now he has regressed.

    When you ask him if he has to "go" he say "NO POTTY" and runs away from you, only to start going in his pants. My friends has been good about not throwing a pull up back on for daytime, but she is CONSTANTLY cleaning up him and the mess. He really does not even like clothes being on.

    It is like he never started the training at all. Any advice on what to do? DO you put the pull ups on and think he is not ready or do you keep being persistent, as you would with other 3 year olds?

    It is wearing on her a great deal. Also, she has been instructed to re-direct him when her recites the alphabet. He does it constantly... A, B, C... then makes the sound of each letter afterwards. He also sits with a drawing board and draws every letter at a frantic pace. If you draw a letter that is not in order, he has a breakdown.

    Okay.. I am asking alot, but if you have time or advice, I would appreciate it.

    As always, thanks so much!
  2. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Here's my honest opinion, which may not match the "books".

    I think kids(and people) with autism have their own way and timing of doing things and they get very very distressed when others try and redirect them, force them.

    To me, it is like having a child in a wheelchair and forcing them to try and walk.

    I think Danny, who was profoundly autistic, no speech, would not look at even a book, could not hold a spoon etc when he was three, is now doing so well, because we just used to get down on the floor with him and love him anyway.

    Other people I knew used ABA a reward punsihment "training" and all sorts of constant redirections with their children and everyone of those kids I knew then, are now rather disturbed. The truth is Danny caught up anyway in his own time, own pace.

    If this child has a dx then the insurance will pay for pull ups, enurises is part of the condition. Danny was in pull ups till he was eight. He sometimes wets now, but is doing OK. The main thing is wiht these kids, love them, let them be comfortable in their own bodies and minds and they will come round and just end up a little socially naieve and quirky, so long as they do not have mental retardation( I an sorry to use those words but this is how they describe it in the books and at school as MR) as a co morbid condition.

    Often autistic children are not actually aware they need to go potty as their minds are out of sync with their bodies.

    As for the alphabet it his little way of staying in touch and grounded, it is a comfort and best just to let him do it, he will stop in a few weeks. Danny once he could talk and read would say every single speed sign, road sign, in the car. We always had to say "thank you" whenhe read the sign or he would have a fit!!! At the itme we were travelling across country ten days (with three cats and two dogs as well!!!)

    He just stopped doing it after a while ( a year or so) as he said he was giving it up as this other boy he knew had been copying him and stolen it from him.

    His thing now, is he says "and you know what" about 100 times a day. He also interchanges my name from Annie to mom to mother depending on what he is saying...(LOL)
    Oh also clothing on the skin can bother these kids, I made all of Danny's clothes for years due to this, he is OK now. Sometimes the surface of the toilet may bother him too, or the smell. They can often have a strong sense of smell. Put the pull ups back on I think. He may also just be being a typical kid as often this happens, and best to ignore it and let them pull the pull ups on and off, rather than power play. How old is he, as if he is three or under a lot of this is typical behavior for boys.

    Hope this helps. I think just accept and let be is the best.

    Love Annie
    [This Message was Edited on 01/29/2007]
  3. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Thanks Ann... a wealth of information. He is 3 1/2, he spent the night over the weekend (his mom styaed also). He is very happy at our house, which makes me feel good. He woke up, singing and reciting the alphabet and every sound that they stand for. It went on for over an hour. He loves to color, so we gave him a coloring book adn he says all of the colors out loud and trys (usually with success) spelling them. He then proceeded to write the ABC's next to the picture & screamed when we did not write with him, the entire alphabet on each page before we turned to the next picture.

    He would say "write the baby A, then the big, write the baby B, then the big." If you would write and X or something in it's place, then he would lose it. He would scream and cry until you did it in order. I tried to play hide and seek with him and then he cried... I felt bad, I was just trying to get him to play. He can be around 5 kids but yet still be in his own world by himself. His school keeps commenting on how he needs more socialization skills.

    They also said that when he is doing the alphabet, to let it go for a little and then say "Alphabet Finished". He even does sign language when he says his letters, learned that from sesame street.

    Obviously we do not understand how his little mind works, but it is always working. He is like a sponge with letters.

    As far as the potty training, my friend says, that he comes home from his 1/2 day school usually dry and in his same pants, but at home it is all over. She thinks that is because they are so structured at school and not as much at home. He is all about routine and schedules... seems common from what I am hearing.

    Since I told you about staying dry at school, do you think we should still put the pull ups on???

    Very interesting about not re-directing them... I am going to give your advice to her. SHe has been told to re-direct over and over again.

    Thank you again Ann.... you are wonderful. There are so many questions unanswered, but you are helping us get there.

    Your child sounds like a beautiful soul and you sound like an amazing and patient mother.

    Thanks friend,
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Yes, these kids just HAVE to have it the wayt that feels OK to to them for sure. If he is now wetyting at school it is probably timing and structure, though some kids may not be going at school at all. Check and see if this is the case.

    You may want to get the fridge aphabet in both sizes and let him substitute these. This way you wont have to also do it. Or those wooden jigsaw puzzles would work better where he slots the piece into the right slot. I am laughing as Danny used to scream DOIT as one of only three words he knew at that age. Don't worry he will pass to something else before long. I think the wooden alphabets they have them at Big Lots or TJ Max.

    Love Annie
  5. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Thanks again Annie! Very interestting. She had to hide the fridge magnets because he would obsess over it for hours on end.

    Maybe she should just let him be and he will work on it by himself and be happy. The infants and toddlers program has trained her to redirect and try to get him to "Pretend Play" with toys, rather then with the alphabet and puzzles that obviously stimulate him.

    Your great.. sorry for all the questions!