Anniversary Of My Mother's Death

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mikie, Jul 11, 2008.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Today is the sixth anniversary of my Mother's death from a massive heart attack which started the night of the 10th. I know quite a few of us have lost loved ones this year on this board. We are all different and we heal at different rates and in different ways. I still miss my Mom every day but the pain isn't as raw as it has been in the past. There will always be a vacant and sad place in my heart and I don't believe it will ever heal completely. Still, I think God has removed some of the pain. It does help the healing process to remember the warm, loving times with our other loved ones. My kids and I do this a lot.

    I hope this will help others to know that the horrible pain lessens a bit with time for many. I'm not even sure "lessens" describes it. It's just that it isn't such a raw pain now. I try to remember that her passing was like a birth on the other side with loved ones there to greet her.

    I was with her when she passed and she got a look of pure rapture on her face and threw her hands out to others whom I could not see. Then, she grabbed hold of my hand and died. We were very close and friends tell me that Mom didn't want to leave me. I tell them that I think she grabbed hold of me to try to take me with her to some magnificent place. I do not fear death and am so glad I was privleged to see how happy and peaceful Mom's passing actually was. I have asked her to come and get me when it's my time to pass.

    This experience reinforces my belief that no one dies alone. Those on the other side come and take people home. So, dear friends, if you were not able to be with a loved one when he or she passed, don't worry; others were there.

    I stopped at the store and got some roses in my Mom's favorite color and put three in a bud vase next to her picture.

    Love, Mikie
  2. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Dear Mikie,

    Your story of your Mom's departure from this world was very heart-warming. It seems like it truly was a privlege for you to have been there with her during her passing.

    Your post of this experience also seems to emanate with the love you and your mother shared. It reminds me of a phrase in a favorite song:

    Time goes by
    In the blink of an eye
    But a moment filled with love,
    Lasts forever

    Blessings to you on this special day of remembrance.

    Kind Regards from Oregon, Wayne
  3. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I do understand how you feel, I still catch myself at the store thinking I need to buy this or that for my mom. I use to take her suger free treats and she HAD to have her Diet Mt Dew,lol.

    The other day I was calling my freind and caught myself almost calling mom, for over 40 years she had the same number with the last four being 0811, my friend is 0631, I had my finger on the 8 and realized what I was doing.

    I do agree about the others coming to get her. I was with my mom and helped her cross over as she was fighting it. So I took her hand and talked to her and asked her if she saw her dad, and other family members, the last 2 days before she died she would acknowledge by squinting/blinking her eyes even tho they were closed.

    After about 20-30 minutes of talking I felt this unexplainable feeling and asked if she saw God with his arms out and she blinked then I told her to go home as I would be fine and would see her when my time comes.

    I had my other hand was on her neck feeling her pulse and when I told her to go, her heart stopped right then and she looked at peace for the first time that whole week we spent in hospice. Then both of my dogs got up on her bed and smelled her face and licked her and then got down and laid over in the corner.

    The nurses just stood there in amazment as they had never seen dogs do that before. They knew and even today if I mention "grandma" they look at me sadly like you know she's not here anymore.

    For week or so after I was followed by a beautiful black and yellow butterfly and believe it was her way of saying she is free and flying without anymore pain and for me to carry on, so I have.

    We all deal with it differently but it does give comfort knowing they are not suffering anymore and they are watching over us.

    Best wishes to you and share and be with you family as much as you can, we never know when we might be the next one to go- Hugs to you-Carla
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    What a lovely story. Time does heal wounds slowly.

    I picked one of my roses yesterday, a lovely peachy colored one, it was a bud, today, it is open and that sort of is like life, we have to open up to show our true beauty.

    Love Annie
  5. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    For me, it was a year ago May 28th. So it was really hard. But I'm dealing a bit better now. It still hurts, though.

    We just need to keep the faith that we will see our loved ones again one day.
  6. sisland

    sisland New Member

    What a Beautiful sentiment of your Mom!,,,I can feel the love you shared with Her!,,,My own Mom was a Very Dear lady too whom we all loved very much,,,,I have this Beautiful Picture of her and her Sister,,My Auntie and they are both wearing Royal Blue dresses with pink and white corsages at My mom and dads 50th wedding anniversary,,,,,,

    anyway they are both smiling these huge smiles and look so Beautiful,,,,,,The pain of losing her has never quite left me and i know that when i see her again it will be one of the most happiest days of my life on the other side!!,,,For now i see Those Butterflies every where i go!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Here's To Our Moms!,,,,,,Sis
  7. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I'm cried. Am crying.
    Scared to death when I lose my Mom. Almost think that the Lord will take me first as he knows that I may not survive losing my Mom. I actually feel the same way about my Dad.
    Thank you so much for taking the time to express very reassuring words. You have no idea how meaningful they are.

    Bless you.
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I don't think we ever stop missing our loved ones no matter how long its been. The pain eases in time but the memories stay fresh.

    Mikie, I love your rose tribute to your Mom. Thanks for sharing it.

  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    For your touching responses. My prayers for peace and comfort go up for all who have lost loved ones. I know for some, the pain is as raw, years and years later, as it was when the loved one passed. I pray for healing for everyone.

    I will never get over losing my Mom and it was really hard to write this because I don't have the words to convey the difference I feel now compared to even a year ago. It's not that the pain is gone; it's just different and a bit easier to bear. Perhaps it's because I've really tried to be happy for her to be in a better place. That isn't easy to do because I want her here where I can hold her hand and look at her. The only way I can phrase it is to say that the pain is a bit softer and less raw.

    What I really wanted was to tell about her seeing loved ones just as she passed. I hope it reassuring to others.

    Last night, I lay in bed and looked at the beautiful roses and her picture. I placed a green votive candle by her picture. Green is the color for the family area of the home and it is the color of the heart chakra. It was very peaceful and gave me comfot.

    Thanks again to everyone. You are the best.

    Love, Mikie
  10. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    I love your story.

    My mom has been dead for 24 years, she passed away when I was 13. I was blessed to be there with her when she died. It was quite sudden, at home and we were alone.

    I remember being scared when it happened. I can now look back with adult eyes and realize the gift I was given of being there and knowing she did not suffer and it was instantaneous. Five minutes later I would have been on the school bus, I would have found her when I came home from school.

    I was there, I got to hug her and hold her hand, tell her I loved her and said a goodbye.

    The raw pain does ease tremendously. What remains are wonderful memories, sometimes longing to be able to talk to them and incredible love.

    My mom forever remains in my heart and I will see her again one day.

    I'm glad you were able to be with your mom as she left this world and stepped into eternity. What a blessing!

    God Bless
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Thank you to you and everyone else who shared stories of loss. Yours, in particular, touched me because you were so young. It really tugs at my heart to think of your losing your Mom at such a tender age. That you feel blessed to have been with her and still hold such loving feelings for her is a testament to your character and spirit.

    Love, Mikie
  12. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Thank you for your beautiful story. I lost my Momma 10 years ago on July 9. My husband lost his Dad 3 years ago on July 12.

    I lost my Daddy one year ago on July 20. I was not in the room when Momma passed they would not let us in. With Daddy I was there. They put the rail on the bed down and sat me in a chiar. I set there and told him how much I loved him and it was ok to go be with Momma. He was moving his mouth like he was trying to say "I love you to". He even looked over at my husband once as if to say "take care of her". He breathed his last breath with me holding his hand. The most peaceful look came across his face and he had a little smile on his face. I feel that he saw Momma waiting for him.

    July is a lot of sad anniversaries for us but one wonderful date is July 1. Our beautiful granddaughter turned 5.

    God bless; Pam
  13. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Your story is so touching and uplifting. My grandson was born on July 2, three years ago. Now, I don't dread July as I used to. My own birthday is in July but after Mom died, I didn't feel like celebrating. Now, I can celebrate for both Andy and me. Congratulations on your granddaughter.

    Love, Mikie
  14. fibromickster

    fibromickster New Member

    I am so glad that you can talk so happily of your mother and continue to keep her in your thoughts all the time. That is the way she would have wanted it.

    She is lucky to have you even after life.

    Love ya.

  15. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I feel as though I'm the lucky one. I'm sure the gratitude I feel for having her as my Mom helps with the healing too.

    Thanks for your kind words.

    Love, Mikie
  16. Doober

    Doober New Member

    My Father passed away on March 30th of this year. Then my Mother passed away 3 weeks ago, 3 months after my Father.

    I dreaded the day when I would have had to deal with it, but having to deal with both in such a short term from unrelated things just sort of blew my mind. As well as that of my 3 brothers and 2 sisters.

    I certainly will not be the same and the "void" will always be there. The best we can do is just look back at the moments we had together and know that we were blessed with the time we spent together.

    My Father passed away during the night and I was there when my Mother took her last breath.

    Life will never be the same and everyone deals with their memories and grief in many different ways. Time is the only healer for a sad heart of a missed loved one.
  17. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Mikie and all,

    What lovely stories from Mikie and many of you about your Mom's and loved ones. Most of us never completely get over it completly, even though time passes. I guess the hurt is not as raw as they say afaater awhile but it is always so sad.

    My parents both passed away in NY and I was in TX and so was not able to be with them with they passed. Those of you who got to be with them I know that was very spefial. I was with her a week or so before she died when we knew things were getting worse. Unfortunaly, the way I felt and my high blood pressure and pain . I wish I could have but had to come home knowing it would probably the last time I would see her alive.

    Dad died about 12 years before and he had cancer for awhile and I still havd all my physical problems and dd's. I applaud all of you who wee able to be there with your mom's and or dad's when stress is at its worse.

    I miss them both so much and I know you all do too. I am always thinking of what mom would think about this or that. She was so precious even though we did not live close by for years. She was so strong and died at 93.

    God bless you all. You are all very strong people.

    Sorry, I hae to leave now as DH needs the puter.

    Blessings to all of you wonderful and strong people !!

    [This Message was Edited on 07/14/2008]
  18. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Thank you for your posts. I think it can be healing just to talk about our loss and pain. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a parent or parents. My heart also goes out to those who have lost a child. I can only imagine how difficult that would be to deal with. Nothing prepares one to deal with the loss of loved ones but, intellectually, we know we will likely survive our parents. We never expect to survive our children.

    I don't believe Heaven is so much a place as it is another dimention. I do not believe human time is in that dimention. In the overall spiritual scheme of things, our lives here are probably but a tiny slice of our eternal existance. No matter how long I live, I look forward to seeing my lost loved ones again. In the meantime, Mom lets me know she is around.

    Love, Mikie