Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by elliespad, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    H A P P P Y H O L I D A Y S TO A L L

    It’s that time of year!
    CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY EATING TIPS - freely apply to other holiday celebrations as
    well - in fact, the more the better

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
    table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
    leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare..You cannot find it
    any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
    10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
    an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
    two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
    gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
    potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole
    milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with
    an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
    your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
    people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You
    can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for
    long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
    10-pound plat e of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
    frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself
    near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center
    of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
    behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if
    you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
    three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor DAY?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
    celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get
    up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over,
    but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
    safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid
    in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn
    out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

    Have a great CHRISTMAS season
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    except, I don't think I need any reminders....
  3. bct

    bct Active Member

    No way am I going to give up my fruit cake! (#9 in list). I went into the kitchen yesterday and found Richard poking holes in this year's f-cake, and dribbling whiskey all over it. Often he uses dark rum. How can you not like this "medicinal" cake?

    Hugs & Laughs,
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I enjoyed reading this and got my laugh for the day. What a great post!!!
  5. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    I love fruitcake too. A friend gave me a small loaf yesterday and its already gone. :( Too bad it didn't have any rum or whiskey on it too.

    Years ago I made a batch of fruit cake 6 weeks before Christmas and every week I soaked a piece of cheese cloth in Apricot brandy and wrapped that around my cakes and then wrapped them back up in foil and put in a cool dark place. Oh my, it was so good. That was the last time I made it.
  6. jole

    jole Member

    My hubby's grandmother use to make us a fruitcake each year and it went into the trash, sorry to say. All that 'fake' fruit was horrible! But I have eaten some that were wonderful, and Barry, I'm betting yours is...even though I'm allergic to alcohol, I sure would love to try a bit of it :)

    I saw this post in an email, and really had a good laugh. Too cute! Thanks for sharing...Jole