Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by another_painful_day, Sep 5, 2004.

  1. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    I am having some difficulty right now in my marriage. Without going into a long drawn out detailed Post, I am asking for some prayers becasue Hubby and I need them...

    Today I am very angry and resentful and I feel very guilty about it. I tried to tlak things over with him because I firmly believe thats how to work things out, but he has this tendencey to blow off my emotions and basically tell me how I am feeling by saying "Oh you dont feel that way..." or "Oh I didnt make you feel that way....".

    This is a constant problem which seems to be getting wrose and worse. We also are arguing alot more in front of our four kids and I feel horrible about that as well.

    I lvoe my hubby...but I cant help feeling at times I regret getting married a year ago and having assumed all this responsibility of my 2 kids, his 2 kids and even him. Shame on me for feeling this way ! He is a good man...but he also is my fifth child. And well, Im all taped out on energy and dont know what to do now.

    Im tired, Im worn out, and when I need him to be my partner and at my side as far as child rearing and disciplining, house responisbilities, money management, etc, I am left by myself, alone, to deal wiht everything and the responsibility falls on my shoulders. To be quite honest I sometimes I can hear myself loud and clear in my head..."OH MY GOD...what have I gotten into?".

    Its too much for me. Call me a failure but Im exhausted and Im not sure how much more I can stand.

    Im too tired to argue and fight. I love him to death because YES htere ar esome wonderful things about hubby that I am blessed with. I do try my hardest to focus on them esp. when I am feeling this way.

    Things are starting to go well aside from all this especially with our job situations. I thought that maybe just maybe things would start looking up for us. But since he chooses to disregard my emotions about certain things and keep dumping all the responisbilities on me all the time, well, its not getting better. I just dont know what to do anymore...other than keep praying.

    Im tired of feeling like a B*TCH, or a cranky crabby person. I want to be happy. Im just so overwhelmed right now with kids, new job and a hubby who ACTS like hes five yrs old and clueless. I am asking for God to please forgive the ay I am feeling and take my anger, disappointment and resentment away. These feeling scan make ANYONE turn bitter. I dont want to be bitter.

    Id love some advice out there also. Please help!

    Please say a prayer.

    God bless you all!
  2. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    Let me ask you all a question...


    This is how I feel....this is how upset I have been all day...and when hubby dont wanna listen to me, I want to scream.

    Understand something...Hubby HEARS what I say,,,He just doesnt LISTEN to what I say... Hence my frustrations.

    If theres one this I have taught my kids/step-kids and still teach them its that NO ONE CAN OWN YOUR FEELINGS OR TELL YOU WHAT AND HOW TO FEEL...
    Unfortunately for me my hubby thinks he knows what I am feeling or what I am suppose to feel... Hence the frustration once again.

    All day hes been apologizing...and thats fine...but I wont accept you know why?

    Becuas ehe STILL CAN NOT ACCEPT WHAT HES DONE OR HOW BAD HE HAS MADE ME I told him his apology means nothing to me unless he can sincerely and honestly tell me he truly understands what hes been doing.

    WHY do men think things just "GO AWAY" as soon as they BLURB out IM SORRY?

    Oh well, Lord forgive me...Ill get over it. Im just REAL fed-up!!!

    I sometimes do feel alone and feel like nothing but a B*TCHY wife...I guess I am too hard on myself sometimes.

    OK...well...child #5 (Hubby) is beckoning to me, I guess I will go tend to the fifth baby in the household! Thanks again for responding. (sometimes the 4 kids are less work LOL!)


  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Praying for you as requested.

  4. Frinkie

    Frinkie New Member

    I pray that you can find a way to have time away from the kids with your husband, and that you can just have fun, and that you do not keep track of times he disappoints you. Wives want their husbands to feel everything like they do, but they do not. They are men, how could they feel like a woman? It is impossible to take responsibility for making someone feel bad if it is not done with pre-planned intentions. The best he can do is feel sorry you feel that way. I have been married over 35 years, and the day I realized he was not a counselor or a psychiatrist or my dad, or my problem solver was a day of productive awakening. I was not making full use of my woman power by depending on him for me to have a happy day. Don't waste your time. Don't expect anything. You will find that expecting something takes up your time, your mind, and is a waste of precious time you could be planning getting away from the kids and giggling. If God can forgive him for all his sins, as He does you and me, then are we better than God not to also forgive? I hope you know the answer to this is found in the Bible as well... A wise woman does not tear down her own house. Forget the mistakes he makes. Just give him credit for trying. Thats the secret.