Another Terrible Day - I've Cried Sooooo Many Times !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JLH, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    My oldest grandson stayed all night with me Thursday night in order to get up on Friday and help me clean house. Every room needs to be vacuumed so badly and there is dust everywhere ..... I should not have said that he was going to “help ME”—this is incorrect! He’s only 9, but I “can’t” even HELP HIM today. I am so weak, so tired, and that blasted pinched nerve in my back is making my hip and leg hut so horribly that I can barely stand up straight to walk.

    The first few hours of the day it is like I have a huge butcher knife stuck in my hip and someone is just twisting and jabbing it around every which way. Geez! It’s a real killer pain!! I can't hardly move for the first few hours after I get up. Has anyone else experienced this?

    I am supposed to get myself an appointment for physical therapy, but I’ve had distractions!

    My car developed an oil leak and leaked all over our brand new concrete we have in our drive way. I made arrangements to get it fixed at a nearby garage.

    Hubby drove me and grandson over to pick car up. When we pulled up, I saw where my car was parked (way, way down from where I had to go to pickup keys and pay). My hubby asked me if I wanted HIM to go pick it up and pay and me just drive his car on over to our daughters’ to drop off grandson. I said NO, I’ll go ahead a do it! DUH!!! STUPID!!! WHAT’S WAS WRONG WITH ME???? It was 100+ degrees outside with 100% humidity! Not even a fly should be outside in this weather!!!!

    Mind you now, I have already cried once today—how I just can’t make it. Both of my feet are swollen like FOOTBALLS!!!! My legs and hands are swollen, too. My feet are also turning really red. I am so afraid that I am developing diabetic neuropathy in them. They have been like footballs during the day, even though I take Lasix, they go down a little at night. When I touch the top of the redness, it hurts really bad. I’m really weak, I am terribly fatigued – can you be weak and fatigued at the same time????? Well, I guess I can if I want to be!!!!! (A little humor here!!) LOL

    Also, for the last 3 days, I have had so many noises in my head and ears that I can’t hear! My ears sound like someone has huge ceiling fans running on extra-high and there is one in each of my ears. I can’t hear and can’t talk right, either!!

    Anyway … went to pick up my car …. Had to walk up this gravel driveway in my son’s flip flops (only thing I could get over my football feet) …. Had to walk very slowly since the bottoms of my feet were swollen as well.

    The guy was on the phone. Stood there in 100 degrees, balancing myself on my cane, and getting sicker by the minute. (I have systemic lupus and the heat makes me physically ill.) The mechanic said he has been so hot today that he had drank 15 bottles of cold water!!! I was about ready to faint. The owner finally comes out and gives me my key and says NO CHARGE! Yipee!! (I had already paid him $650 a few months ago to fix this stupid oil leak!)

    As I slowing hobble back down the driveway, my hubby was still waiting at the end. BLESS HIM!!! I looked at him and started BAWLING LIKE A BABY!!!!! He yells and asks if I’m OK. I cry “NO” and he told me to get in his car. He drove me the few feet it was to get to my car. He asked me if I were able to drive it a few blocks to my daughters house so I could rest up in order to make it home. I said I had to.

    Get to daughters. Had to walk up her steps to get to her house. My hubby helps me out of my car. I start crying again. I did not have enough strength to walk up her steps in that kind of heat.

    I have my cane and he holds on to the other arm and I slowly get up her concrete steps and my feet felt like I was climbing up a bed of nails!! My feet were so painful!! My nerve in my back was in spasms -- I almost want to die I was in such bad shape (not really—I do want to live).

    When I got in the door, I dropped my purse, kicked off the flip flops and fell into a recliner and just cried again.

    I just can’t make it. What am I going to do? I went to 2 docs last week. One was a new endo checking me for Cushings Syndrome. The other was my rheumy wanting me to go to phys therapy for my pinched nerve, and wanting me to join Weight Watchers (I wish he would shut up on my weight, even tough I know he is right!!).

    I need to get the swelling down in my feet. Rheumy listened to heart and lungs and they are OK for a change—so it’s not my congestive heart failure. I’m really afraid that the lupus is attacking my kidneys. I take Lasix and still do not pass much urine. Is it the diabetes or lupus that is attacking my kidneys????? My father died of kidney failure due to diabetes. I can’t live what he lived through—dialysis. I am so worried. But I can barely walk on these feet and I am so weak and in so much pain.

    Then….. this stupid family reunion on Sunday afternoon. But at least it is in air conditioning.

    This is the end of my novel today. Do they ever hire authors to write nothing --and that nothing is depressing?????

    Everybody take care of themselves,
    [This Message was Edited on 08/13/2005]
  2. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Having to deal with the car in this heat and everything must have been awful. Plus all the back problems you have and the swelling in your feet, etc.

    When I had swelling feet and legs the med (Lasix) didn't help me at all.

    I sort of dread when the summer ends because I hate so much having to wear long pants and socks, coat, etc. I just hate going out and having to put all those clothes on. I wear shorts and a T-shirt all year around in the house.

    I hope you'll feel better. Our weather has been brutal in the high 90's and a heat index in the 100's. I'm staying inside in the air conditioning.

    I forgot where you live. I live in Virginia.

    Take care and I hope you have better days ahead of you.


  3. darude

    darude New Member

    What an awful time. You really should be in bed trying to relax. IF you can't do you can't please try and take care of YOU!!!!!!!!
  4. CFIDSNicole

    CFIDSNicole New Member

    I am so sorry you've been having a horrible time of it. Is this family reunion really necessary? I mean, if I were you, I wouldn't be moving far from my bed this weekend. It sounds like your body is screaming for a break. Please, if you can take some time for yourself, do.

  5. tonakay

    tonakay New Member

    Sure hope you are feeling a little better today, what a rotten day you had. Be good to yourself.

  6. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I can empathise too, hopefully you'll be on the mend soon.

    I get very painful feet Janet and have started having a daily footspa bathe.

    I've been wondering about Cushings Syndrome myself, why were you referred to have that checked out??

    My face is completely round now and I have a swelling on the back of my neck, I dont have rashes or stretch marks though.

    I know you're too ill to answer just now but maybe when you feel better. I'd appreciate it.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/13/2005]
  7. Pen-hen

    Pen-hen New Member

    I've been there, swollen feet, pain so unreal ! What I did

    was take a bath, the water itself really help ! And do it

    everyday for awhile, as there was times I did it twice a

    day ! It really help me, felt so much better !! I used to

    walk like I was on nails, it was awful ! I feel for you,

    I know how bad you are feeling ! Take care, and please

    give it a try. Norma
  8. nina2

    nina2 New Member

    u betcha! You could write a novel. It would be a tear jerker.
    They'd probably stick it under fiction, as nobody believes us anyhow.

    I know what a pinched nerve feels like. You had to be so uncomfortable. With such pain.

    You probably felt so helpless . So sorry for you.
    Hope your better soon.
    (((big hugs)))
  9. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    I'm so sorry you are haviing such a bad time. It sounds like you need a good chiropractor. I hate to say it, but most MDs don't have the slightest clue what to do with a pinched nerve.

    I am going through a pinched nerve at this time, also. I was lucky enough to get a referral from an aquaintance,and I just gritted my teeth and took a chance. Well, It looks like I have found a real gem of a Dr.! After only one treatmet I feel better. He doesn't manipulate, like the old fashioned Chiros, he uses these things that look like guns,that do that. It was not only easy (don't need to disrobe), but it felt really good and really helped me.

    About your swollen limbs - I don't know what is causing it, but in my case, I was prescribed a diuretic. It is also important to know that anything smoked,(like ham) fermented, canned or pickled, can cause you to retain fluids. Packaged foods also have a lot of salt. Reduce your salt intake (Mrs, Dash's producte are good), and drink water. I hope this helps.

    Good luck, I hope things even out for you.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/13/2005]
  10. mrsED

    mrsED New Member

    Dear jlh,
    I feel so bad for you.

    There was a time, when people as sick and in as much pain as we are, were taken care of, by family, church friends, neighbors, even hospitals. But not any more.
    It seems like now we are just expected to suck it up and try not to tell anyone how bad we are feeling.

    Everyone around us is too busy to help. They ask how you are and sometimes if they can help, but most of the time they don't really mean it.

    Women are pursuing careers and raising children at the same time. Kids have to be involved in every activity so their parents are constantly driving them to sports, dance, etc. They have no time to help anyone else.

    Since insurance companies now rule the world, there is no hospital or nursing care for us.

    After reading your letter, I wish I could come to your house, make you a fresh, clean, bed, run you a bath, help you in and out of the tub. Find you a soft nightie to put on, get you in bed, fix you something to eat and drink and bring it to you on a tray. I'd fluff you pillows and give you the remote. Also, a big DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door might be good.

    I used to do this for people when I was young and healthy. It wasn't unusual to do such things for people who are ill.
    But now it seems we just have to tough it out.

    jhl, I sure hope you have a better day tomorrow.

    Love, MrsED

  11. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    I'm so sorry for you. Cry all you want. You have had such a horrible day.

    You know, the only time my Dr. ever believed in me was the day my hubby and I were in there. He asked me a question as to where I felt bad. I said all over and that made him mad!! Been to him for 15 yrs. for this. I suddenly couldn't answer as my lip was so quivery and the tears began to roll. (Hubby didn't say anything as he didn't want to get involved). Dr. turned around to desk and began to take me seriously. I was embarassed as I usually don't do that but couldn't help it.

    I have cried several times when daughter wouldn't believe in FMS. Does now.

    My feet and hands get so red and hurt so bad--- Dr. gave me a big shot of Lasix about 6 weeks ago, then put me on a diuretic. I got so weak and shaky that I quit the pill but all did help and I have skinny legs now. Don't know why.

    It seems to me as if all hurts! I do have a lady that comes once in a while to vacuum, etc. But I clean the bath andf Thur. I used a wet Swiffer on the floor. I hurt sooo bad after it. Yesterday we got groceries. Hubby can only carry in just light and small bag. I did get a folding grocery cart to take them in. But I have to pull it up 3 levels of steps. Today I just feel awful.

    You are not alone. My sons who are both 120 miles away are so busy with family and lake cottages and vacation, etc. that they have not been home since Feb., hubby's birthday. It crushes me!!! Daughter lives 345 mi. and is here every other month and stays several days. That is love and loyalty.

    I just found out that I have scolious and pinched nerves on #3, 4, 5 & 6 vertabra. It is painful so I feel for you. Today is one of those days too

    I don't think that I was the one that waas supposed to be crabby. You have had such a difficult time. Wish I could come in and talk with you. I'd listen to you and give you a hug!

    Keep trying and a Gentle Hugs and Love and Care to you.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/13/2005]
  12. sheried

    sheried New Member

    I'm so sorry you've got all this on your plate. I know you're ready to scream enough already!!!!

    My grandmother dealt with the swollen feet and ankles. Bless her heart, Lasix didn't do much to help. Elevating her legs helped some. What did help was the elastic hose that helped improve the blood flow to her lower extremeties.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon. Take it really easy at that reunion and let people come to you.

  13. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    your doctor about support hose though. They might really help and though they are very expensive they last a long time.
  14. califlornialover

    califlornialover New Member

    I am new to this site, but I read your post tonight, and I wanted to tell you that I empathize with you. I do not know you, or suffer from the things you do but I do know that all of us who suffer from chronic pain (emotional or physical or mental) are all in a boat together. People do not understand out daily pains, nor do they seem to care.
    I am sorry you feel so bad, and I hope you find some sort of comfort soon. I am glad you have a good hubby there who seems to care a lot. That is very important! I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you, and God bless you everyday!!


  15. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Thanks to all of you kind people for your replies.

    I can not post a proper reply right now because I'm just not up to it.

    I could not get to the computer tonight until real late, and I've read a few posts and replied to a few, and I realize now that I just need to go to bed.

    For what time that I've been out of bed today, I have just done too much.

    I need to get a good night's sleep so that I am up to going to our family reunion tomorrow afternoon.

    I made 2 batches of the easiest, quickest, no-bake cookies.

    I'll post the recipe on a separate post so those who don't already have the recipe can copy it. I have it in my recipe file on the computer, so all I will have to do is copy and paste!

    I'll be gone all day tomorrow and if I'm feeling up to it, might be back on the computer late Sunday evening, or Monday morning. It seems like I have missed all weekend long on the board!!


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