Another vent.......

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by glendamarie22, Oct 24, 2002.

  1. glendamarie22

    glendamarie22 New Member

    Seems like every time I post on here it's to get something off my chest and never to say something to encourage evenyone else.......I'll try to do better in the future and i so appreciate all the people who are kind enough to respond. I get so much help from this place!

    Ok, here's my latest: A friend came to stay a few days with me and on the last night he was here I had Fibro Fog SO bad. I mean, he didn't know it, but I had been kind of driving around aimlessly all that day - taking long routes to places I go to all the time. I was just so foggy. Anyway, on the way home, we were almost out of gas and I drove us way past our turn on the interstate and about 40 minutes out of the way. There was nowhere to turn around and we were getting low on gas. I tried to joke it off, but he seemed kind of quiet and distant and I was so embarrassed and frustrated and just mad at myself and this dd in general. When we finally stopped for gas and turned around to go home, I started to cry. I was so tired and my nerves were just on edge. I tried to tell him how the FM affects me and even told him some of the things I've done while in a fog. Each time, he totally changed the subject and acted as though nothing had happened. He was pretty withdrawn the rest of the time he was here. It was like it ruined the rest of his visit.
    To clarify, this is someone I've been friends with for over six years and he has known for ages about how sick I am. I usually don't talk about it and he has never seen me get at all upset or emotional before. I emailed him about it after I decided it bothered me too much to let it go, and his reply was, "don't worry about it." That's all. I have been there for him through so many of his problems and the one time I get upset, he closes me out. He is such a wonderful guy and has been one of the best friends I've ever had for so long. This has just hurt and confused me and he's not the first friend of mine to react this way. Someone shed some light on this please!
    Sorry this is so long... I needed to get this out:)
    Hugs,
    Glenda
    [This Message was Edited on 10/25/2002]
  2. glendamarie22

    glendamarie22 New Member

    Seems like every time I post on here it's to get something off my chest and never to say something to encourage evenyone else.......I'll try to do better in the future and i so appreciate all the people who are kind enough to respond. I get so much help from this place!

    Ok, here's my latest: A friend came to stay a few days with me and on the last night he was here I had Fibro Fog SO bad. I mean, he didn't know it, but I had been kind of driving around aimlessly all that day - taking long routes to places I go to all the time. I was just so foggy. Anyway, on the way home, we were almost out of gas and I drove us way past our turn on the interstate and about 40 minutes out of the way. There was nowhere to turn around and we were getting low on gas. I tried to joke it off, but he seemed kind of quiet and distant and I was so embarrassed and frustrated and just mad at myself and this dd in general. When we finally stopped for gas and turned around to go home, I started to cry. I was so tired and my nerves were just on edge. I tried to tell him how the FM affects me and even told him some of the things I've done while in a fog. Each time, he totally changed the subject and acted as though nothing had happened. He was pretty withdrawn the rest of the time he was here. It was like it ruined the rest of his visit.
    To clarify, this is someone I've been friends with for over six years and he has known for ages about how sick I am. I usually don't talk about it and he has never seen me get at all upset or emotional before. I emailed him about it after I decided it bothered me too much to let it go, and his reply was, "don't worry about it." That's all. I have been there for him through so many of his problems and the one time I get upset, he closes me out. He is such a wonderful guy and has been one of the best friends I've ever had for so long. This has just hurt and confused me and he's not the first friend of mine to react this way. Someone shed some light on this please!
    Sorry this is so long... I needed to get this out:)
    Hugs,
    Glenda
    [This Message was Edited on 10/25/2002]
  3. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    I'm so sorry about your "adventure" if you will. Actually, from reading your post, it sounds to me like this is the first time that reality reared it's ugly head infront of your friend. Maybe it's going to take a while for him to digest the true meaining of having this DD. I feel like, if he's a "true" friend, once his brain has time to fit all the puzzle pieces together, he'll be back. At least I hope so.

    I, myself, am on my own with this. I'm married, but my husband doesn't want to talk about it EVER. He won't even ask how I feel when he calls home. (He's working away from home right now and only comes home every third weekend.)

    So, I can truely say that I feel some of your pain. Not the DD pain, but the "heart" pain that NO drug can touch. Try to hang in there. We girls know that it really does take the male population a little bit longer to figure things out. (No offense to the males on this board). Give him time.

    Meanwhile, take care of yourself.

    (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
    Kathy
  4. Imnoangle

    Imnoangle New Member

    My hubby and my daughter understand what's going on, to the point I get lectures from my 6year old telling me not to do things. She says all I have to do is ask and she will do them for me. My mother is the one who who will not listen or believe so i try not to let her know about my pain and misery. My daughter will tell her "grandma, mom don't want to talk she don't feel well. My mother tells her I'm faking it and my daughter goes off on her telling she goes to the doctor with me and she should leave me alone. If she has nothing nice to say not to call. Maybe this will help you feel better. Not everyone understands the pain we go through, Hope this finds you well.
    Dawn
  5. Fairyeyes

    Fairyeyes New Member

    Don't be too angry and hurt over your friend. Sounds like he was a little confused himself. I know we expect our loved ones to deal with this in certain ways, but cut the fella some slack. Perhaps he really means it, when he says for you to "don't worry about it". And even if that's not what he means, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!

    Give it some time.
  6. pamela

    pamela New Member

    Some guys are so sensitive when it comes to girls getting emotional. I have been in your place before and it's no fun. SOME guys just have no compassion about them. They do not know how to show their fellings or they may have none when it comes to females getting emotional and/or upset. I hope i'm making sense. Be his friend but I would say that's all. This guy sounds like he is not that compassionate. Hope this helps...Pamela
  7. glendamarie22

    glendamarie22 New Member

    It means a lot to me that some of you understand and you were all kind enough to take the time to post. I know I shouldn't, but I will probably always, "worry about it." I'm hoping he'll come around.... but one thing about this, you sure find out who your friends are...........

    ~Glenda