Antenbunny's Post On Spirituality

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Mikie, May 7, 2003.

  1. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Spirituality 04/23/03 09:36 AM

    I would like to bring up the subject of spirituality. I use to be a spiritual person. I meditated for years, prayed everyday, did a lot of spiritual reading, got something from church. Now I just feel empty inside. I don't know if I believe anything any more. It makes me very sad, I use to feel very connected spiritually. Now I feel like an empty vessel. Anyone feel the same? What is there do to?


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    lelehpr
    (109)

    Hey Bunny! 04/23/03 09:41 AM

    If you can get the book by Joyce Meyers- Take Back what the Devil stole! That book will put you back in good spirits :)


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    plantscaper
    (582)

    When Bad Things Happen to Good People 04/23/03 09:54 AM

    Book by Harold Kushner...Also, Morton Kelsey and John Sanford have spiritually healthy books..

    That title "Take back what the Devil Stole" sounds very interesting...Does it involve our DDs, in particular, Lelehpr?


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    jolly
    (72)

    Hi Antenbunny 04/23/03 10:03 AM

    After 5 or 6 years of this fibro crap I actually started getting back into meditation and spiritual readings and have found it more rewarding than before. Plus I seem to be able to understand philosophical writings better. Maybe you could try to expand your horizons and think outside the box. Have you read any of the websites on ascension? There's quite a few of them and they're very interesting. They say that right now in this weird time we're living in that there's a mass ascension happening and it's causing changes in people's lives that they don't understand. Some of the physical aspects even correspond to fibro and chronic fatigue. You might also look up starseeds. Another avenue that has been eye-opening is checking on the soho daily sun pictures and learning something about the universe. Maybe you're feeling like an empty vessel now just so you can fill yourself up with new ideas and concepts. Jo Ellen


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    namow
    (31)

    I feel the same 04/23/03 10:12 AM

    I just want you to know that I feel exactly the same, I can't feel anything anymore and feel almost dead inside. It is a terrible feeling and I don't know how to get it back either.



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    JannyW
    (100)

    Bunny ... 04/23/03 11:08 AM

    I've been feeling so lost & numb inside for so long, I never thought I'd feel any other way. But 5 weeks ago, we started attending a wonderful church and it's changed my life! Yes, I still have bouts of depression (that's not going to change overnite) but I don't feel that God is quite so far away now.

    I know this isn't the answer for everyone, but for those who have had a church life in the past & have abandoned it ... give it another try, if you can.

    Jan ^v^






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    praisingHim
    (83)

    Get your joy back!! 04/23/03 11:56 AM

    Hey. I ditto a previous person on the book by Joyce Meyer. The devil wants to rob us of our joy, but God did not intend us to be empty inside. Keep praying, going to church, and reading your Bible. It is full of encouraging words. Take a ride to your bookstore. There are tons of encouraging books out there. I like the quote "if God puts you thru it, He will see you thru it". The book of Isaiah tells us that God's ways are higher than our ways. We don't always know why we are facing what we are facing, but if we have accepted Jesus as or Lord and savior, we know that we have an eternity to spend in Heaven with no tears, pain, or sorrow and we will walk on streets of gold!! I can't wait to get there!! I want to encourage you to go back to church, put on some praise and worship music while in your car, while you are cleaning (if able), or just while you relax. I once had a shirt that said "Are you far from God? Guess who moved?" God is always there for us. It's us that stray away. I have been exactly where you are. I am about to go to a women's conference and I have ordered a healing CD, so I am trying to get my spiritual life in check. Check out the website nelsonministryservices with a dot and a com and look at their healing CD. I am sorry if I am preachy, but you asked so I didn't hold my opinion back. Have a blessed day and keep your eyes on HIM and things WILL improve!!!!


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    skeesix
    (131)

    feeling empty 04/23/03 12:59 PM

    i hear that anhedonia (unable to feel emotions) is a symptom of cfs/fm. it can also be a symptom of depression.

    i feel rather zombied out myself alot, have trouble concentrating and doing creative things. i was going to say something else but i forget (another wonderful symptom).

    at any rate, i would suggest trying one new thing that will pull you out of your regular routine/little box. something where you can be around interesting supportive, different people and possibly also nature.

    having interesting conversations with other spiritual people? going on a lunch date with a friend? getting out to a park? starting a little herb garden? going to a church? a support group? going to see some live music? going to a meditation class? getting a dog? playing some soft spiritual music in the background? traveling somewhere?

    i don't know exactly either, but just some ideas to get you going.
    skeesix




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    mrmadd
    (12)

    spiritual help 04/23/03 04:53 PM

    as a christian, I too have been feeling empty, but I know hes here with me. I also have realized that my spiritual block has been based on the fact that I was using him as a tool and not focusing on who he is to me. that could also be part of the problem


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    fibrorebel
    (132)

    Your feeling empty.... 04/23/03 06:06 PM

    is typical for those of us with chronic illness. Trust me you are not an empty vessel. That would be the enemy's deceipt...which is why you should definitely read Joyce's book, it speaks loudly about reclaiming what God gave us and sending the enemy's lies packing. Do you know how we view ourself has so much to do with our spiritual peace?
    For example; many of us our givers and spend our whole lives
    doing everything for everyone...almost like we have to earn the love of others and our worth. Trouble is when we are suddenly chronically ill most of that doing for others is quite limited,so our view of ourself starts to change. As we gradually feel more isolated we suddenly are very vulnerable for the deceiptful one to really work us over.
    After all if our worth is in what we do for others, how many times do we try to approach God the same way, Having to earn His love? He loves us relentlessly and consistently, and has promised to never leave us or foresake us. Rest in His promise and try to return to some worship daily, the wow worhip cd's are good for getting lost in the peace. I won't apologize for sounding preachy, as that is what I have been called to, I'm a pastor. I try to stay low key here on the board so as not to break rules or offend but really felt moved to reply to you. love, Rebel


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    gumama
    (35)

    spirituality 04/23/03 06:30 PM

    I agree 100 % about Joyce Meyer's books and tapes.. I have a whole Library of them and when the Enemy decides to attack I just head for one of them and boy he goes running.

    she speaks in such lay terms she's easy to understand and has been through most of the experiences she talks about..I recommend her very highly.

    Sandy in the desert


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    gumama
    (35)

    spirituality 04/23/03 06:35 PM

    Praisehim.

    Thank you so much for your post.. I needed to hear that today.. and you are so right..it seems sometimes like the Lord gives us more than we can handle.. but he knows us better than we know ourselves.. and its through these "trials" that we learn.

    thanks again for you inspiring post.

    Sandy in the desert


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    antenbunny
    (25)

    Is the book Christian based? 04/23/03 09:28 PM

    Can I just ask is this book really Christian based, no offense but I'm not really Christian. Could anyone enjoy it.


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    Godslove
    (57)

    I am very happy 04/23/03 09:33 PM

    to see all the Christian encouragement here. It is wonderful that when one of us is feeling this way, there are those that will show you the way back to what is really important.

    Christ is certainly the answer. And Joyce Meyer....I hope God gives her more blessings than she can possibly handle. She (along with Gods help) turned my life around several years ago. I watch her show every day and learn so much from her.

    Ask God to change you into what HE wants you to be...you can't go wrong.

    Peace and Blessings,
    Wanda


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    Susan07
    (73)

    Spirituality 04/23/03 09:52 PM

    I seemed to lose my spirituality when I started blaming God for my pain. I think I felt if I am a good person why should I be in so much pain.

    I have started to shed that feeling by finding a nice bible church and am working my way back to reclaiming peace.

    Hope you get back to peace again soon.



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    jamedw1
    (66)

    sometimes... 04/24/03 06:34 AM

    ... it's something that's not necessarily "religious" that helps us find our way back, and some peace...
    this is what i use when things are confused for me...

    Desiderata


    Go placidly amid the noise and haste
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.
    As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others,
    even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
    If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter,
    for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
    Keep interested in your career, however humble;
    it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
    Exercise caution in your business affairs,
    for the world is full of trickery.
    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
    Many persons strive for high ideals
    and everywhere life is full of heroism.
    Be yourself.
    Especially do not feign affection.
    Neither be cynical about love,
    for in the face of all aridity and disappointment
    it is as perennial as the grass.
    Take kindly the counsel of the years,
    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
    But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
    Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars.
    You have a right to be here.
    And whether it is clear to you or not,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
    Therefore be at peace with God,
    whatever you conceive him to be,
    and whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life,
    keep peace with your soul.
    With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams
    it is still a beautiful world.
    Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

    Max Ehrman, 1927

    hope it helps...



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    fibrorebel
    (132)

    Hi Antenbunny 04/24/03 07:36 PM

    Have been out-of-town for a funeral so just now got a chanceto get back to you. Yes, I think you would still enjoy Joyce's book as it has much to do with not letting "life" get in the way of spiritual balance and peace. Also, the other book that was suggested "When bad things happen to good people" would be a great read as it deals with things that you have to have felt at least once or twice, as we who are chronically ill ,all do from time to time. Even if you are not Christian, you can regain the lost peace and balance in your life.Just really try to be good to yourself and spend time thinking what you can still do for you every day, even if it is only a half hour...treat yourself as you would your best friend.
    Love, Rebel


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    kaber
    (3)

    Spirituality 05/07/03 03:15 PM

    Hi there antenbunny! I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way. I say also, that you should ride down to your local Christian bookstore and you'll find some very encouraging books to read that will certainly get your spirits back up. Of those, the Bible is the most encouraging and hopeful of all. Read some of the Psalms that King David wrote back in his day. Awesome!
    God is still in the healing business as well. I pray often for my healing and complete restoration of my physical body and I know that he will do just that in his time. However, I am already thanking him for it in advance because it says in his Word (Bible)that the stripes that Christ received on his back, is representative of our healing. So in essence, He already healed us we just have to believe it and begin thanking him for it in advance.

    You'll get through it,if you really want it bad enough--and I know that you do sweetie. We all do. Hang in there and God Bless you and keep you.

    Karol
    PS I'd like to pray for you if you don't mind.


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    sparrowshell
    (12)

    Jesus is near ... 05/07/03 04:44 PM

    Hi there antenbunny,

    Sorry that you feel empty – but I know how you feel as well, even as a Christian. I’ve been suffering this disorder of CFS for just over two years now. I got sick in the last semester of Bible College in 2001, but was thankfully able to graduate all the same. I kept wondering why God would allow me to get sick as I had such high hopes of serving Him, in some way or another. And just when I felt empty and was having the “nothing’s worth it” feelings, God showed me a couple of verses from the Bible, which really helped me. Firstly, He showed me from Isaiah 54:4 “For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name …” and promised me that just like the Israelites, God would look after me and be my heavenly husband (which he is a husband to the church), until He so choses to bring along an earthly husband. Secondly, he showed me the verse from Isaiah 54:11 “THOU afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires …” Now I know these verses are directed to the Israelites, but it spoke to me saying that God will bring me through this situation – even if I have to endure it for the rest of my life – God is not wasting the experience.

    So all in all, every time I feel depressed, anxious, and even “empty” … I remember these verses and thank God that He knows what He’s doing, even though sometimes I can’t see the “end of the tunnel”. Don’t get me wrong – I do get depressed about being sick and all … but that’s when I really need to lean on Jesus.

    Also, going to a church where I can worship God in the way I need to, also helps me.

    So, hang in there … as hard as it is - if you know Jesus, then you do have HEAVENLY support!

    Bye,
    Michelle


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    dolsgirl
    (349)

    antenbunny, 05/07/03 04:53 PM

    I have lost some of my spirituality. It happened last July 28th after God chose to take my adorable little 8 year old yorkshire terrier for no reason. This is after we lost all the equity in our home that we signed over to a "close" relative that chose to NOT give us $42,000 in equity after he promised he would. We had been very close to this relative and would have trusted him with our life! We moved to Florida as planned, but money ran out & we had to cash in our retirement 401K's to make it to Washington State. A good move for my health, but we need jobs still. BUT, when I lost my dog in the midst of all that is when I lost all my faith until my sister was so ill in February that I started to pray for her only. dolsgirl


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    elbryan
    (18)

    I pray everytime. 05/07/03 04:57 PM

    Each and everyday that I get on this board I pray for all the problems that I read about. I to find myself starving for the emotional part of being a Christian. I know that being on the Zoloft takes some of that emotion away and I hate taking it, however it helps me deal with the other emotions that are hard to control like depression. Remember that Christ said that if we are deligent with him he will not forget us.

    I would like to ask those who are christians to get into the habit of praying about the things you see on the boards remember you can never pray to much.


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    EDWINA
    (21)

    I UNDESTAND 05/07/03 05:04 PM

    DEAR ATENBUNNY, JESUS IS ALWAYS NEAR. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU- HEBREWS 13;5.
    THE DEVIL WILL DO HIS BEST TO KEEP US FROM TRUSTING IN GOD. JESUS IS MY PESONAL SAVIOR AND IF I DIDNT HAVE HIM THRU THIS FOR MANY MANY YEARS OF BEING SICK I THINK I WOULD HAVE DONE MYSELF IN..
    DRAW NIGH TO GOD AND HE WILL DRAW NIGH TO YOU, DONT TRUST IN FEELINGS- OUR FEELINGS CHANGE DAILY. TRUST IN GODS HOLY WORD. ILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. TAKE CARE-EDWINA


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    MemoryLane
    (152)

    Please come back Antenbunny, 05/07/03 05:07 PM

    We miss your smiling face!

    Lane


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    tansy
    (174)

    re spirituality 05/07/03 05:15 PM

    There have been some wonderful messages in reply to antenbunny's post and I'm sure some of them helped.

    But I'm concerned.

    Antenbunny explained that she is not very christian and yet numerous replies have been about christianity and the need for that faith etc, the book quoted repeatedly is, it would seem, written from a christian perspective.

    This board is for people with CFS and FM. It will therefore be read and used my people from ALL religions, humanists, atheists and agnostics.

    So it would be great if others could offer antenbunny alternative books and sources of comfort. It would then make these recommendations more suitable for those who are not committed christians and who read posts for information that will help them.

    Afraid my cognitve and visual impairments make reading books a "no go" area so I cannot recommend alternative reading but hopefully many others can and will.

    I believe many of this go through this, as do individuals with any prolonged disabling chronic illness.

    I sometimes find that coming out of these periods happens through the same sequence i.e. my brain feels less glued then I hear or see something that sparks a spiritual response.

    Cheers

    Tansy


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    NewEnglander
    (94)

    The Lord 05/07/03 05:42 PM

    Theres power in praise and its easy to praise God when we feel good, but harder when we don't and thats when we need to do it more,. sometimes I'm a good daughter and will pray
    'I will praise you LORD, for you have rescued me. YOU refused to let my enemies triumph over me. OH LORD my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health.
    psalm 30 1-2
    other times I yell out to Jesus, Heal me or Take me. Now. then I'm very sorry and feel the conviction of the Holy Ghost. I try to bargain with him. heal me and I'll be so good. pleeeeease,. I just want to serve you better. and then there is the occational, why, why, why, meeeeeeee, what did I do. Then I feel guilty becuase as my mother so often reminds me there are people worst off them you. In which I remind her, that sometime theres an end to there misery,. and there is peace with that. like when your very old or young and have been fighting so long and finally let the Lord take you. But me I can stay this way for another 50 yrs. and would if I get worst, what will I do. well let me speak a little life here. and say to the world, by his stripes I am healed. Father I wait on the manifestations of your healing. and by the Blood of the Lamb I am healed. thank you that I am healed... I speak life and stand in faith and then I beg and beg and beg. Heal me now, Lord heal me. but the other way is better. oh and I cry a lot and think about how the scritures say GOD counts are tears then I will sometimes say Lord don't you have enough tears yet. I love the Lord with all my heart and Soul but sometimes I am not acting in the manner that the Holy spirit leads me. However there is always forgiveness. He doesn't need ours, we need his.


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    sparrowshell
    (12)

    Spirituality 05/07/03 06:22 PM

    Jesus is HOPE ... there is no-one else like Jesus :) Something else to think about, which I just read it on the Internet:

    A monk complained to St. Arsenius that while reading Holy Scripture he does not feel, neither the power of the words read nor gentleness in his heart. To that the great saint will reply to him: "My child, just read! I heard that the sorcerers of serpents, when they cast a spell upon the serpents, the sorcerers are uttering the words, which they themselves do not understand, but the serpents hearing the spoken words sense their power and become tamed. An so, with us, when we continually hold in our mouths the words of Holy Scripture, but even though we do not feel the power of the words, evil spirits tremble and flee for they are unable to endure the words of the Holy Spirit." My child, just read! The Holy Spirit Who, through inspired men, wrote these divine words, will hear, will understand and will hasten to your assistance; and the demons will understand will sense and will flee from you. That is: He Whom you invoke for assistance will understand, and those whom you wish to drive away from yourself will understand. And both goals will be achieved.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/07/2003]


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    bakron
    (20)

    Belief . . 05/07/03 06:37 PM

    I am a Christian, and when I first started being tested to try to figure out what the heck was happening with my body, I felt empty and unconnected. It went beyond spiritual, I felt unconnected from family as well. Depression can be the problem. I think that it was with me. The more I thought about it, the emptier I felt. One thing that I really hung on to and held close is the FACT that being a Christian doesn't hinge on "feelings." It's the FACT that we don't have to feel any certain way to really know or BELIEVE that our spiritual cups are filled.

    Taking an antidepressant at night called Celexa has really helped me. It helps to calm the storm of "self-indulgence" thoughts that induce depression or feelings of helplessness.

    The fact that there are so many out there who think that "this is all in our heads," these people do not help at all. But, if you can find just one friend who can work with you in prayer, meditation, conversation, etc., that would help. I can't tell you how much one of my Christian friends has helped me through some of these periods of feeling "empty" or hopeless.



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    jkerben
    (59)

    I am 05/07/03 08:36 PM

    a Christian. This illness has made me wake up and look at my life. I don't get to go to church like I used to, hope to be going back Sunday and start attending every Sunday after health permitting. Even thou I have not been in church I have kept close contact with friends, pastor and especially God during this time. I feel that this illness has made me a stronger person mentally (except during brain fogs). I don't Question God why, I just for God's will. If I can help one person, whether here online or in person to understand that the simple things in life are what is important rather than material things-money, clothes, etc,.I used to be a type A go getter, always on the go, never at home, always participating in anything and everything, now that has all come to a screeching halt. God has put my life in perspective. Now I appreciate tha simple life, beautiful sunshine, flowers, family, friends, life itself. I just thank God everyday that I am alive and still have all of this. No doubt in my mind that if I did not turn this illness and problems it brings over to God, I would be dead. God gets me thru each day. Do you have a pastor or someone who could help you thru this empty time in your life? Don't try to get thru it by yourself, it will drive you insane.
    I will pray that you find the peace you need.
    I apologize if this post has offended you or anybody. That was not the intention, I just wish everyone could experience the peace I feel with myself and God.

    Love, Jackie K.


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    goingslowlycrazy
    (111)

    I feel a lot of this has to do with energy..... 05/08/03 04:13 AM

    Hi Antenbunny honey,
    I used to be very active spiritually - in fact, I used to teach on a psychic website (don't hate me, all you Christian folk out there...I firmly believe in Jesus and God and always worked in the light and for the good of all).
    I had to give it up as I was constantly giving my energy away to others. Just talking to someone in distress can deplete your energy and I used to do it for hours each day!
    Over time, my 'gift' seemed to get more remote until it virtually shut down altogether. This is where the energy comes in. We really need all the energy we have for ourselves with this illness.
    I wouldn't try to meditate at the moment, but just sit quietly and let your mind go free, it can be very energising.
    Just try to find that quiet, peaceful place inside of you and if you can do this regularly, you will eventually find your interest in it coming back.
    I have got to a stage of quiet acceptance now.
    When I first got ill, I thought (and was told by many others) that it was 'their' way of putting me in a place where I could help others, ie all I was fit for was sitting in front of a computer and teaching.
    But the teaching was too much...and yet, guess what...here I am, sitting in front of a computer, trying to help other people...but I can do this one in short bursts, when it suits ME.
    Talk about 'working in mysterious ways'...I have only just realised this, talking to you!
    let us know how you get on...and believe that you ARE being looked after, by being 'shut down' as it is the best thing for you at the moment,
    hugs
    Mary x


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    jolly
    (72)

    Thank you Thank you, Mary 05/08/03 04:34 AM

    This poor girl Antebunny has two whole posts on this message board and has had her needs totally ignored on both. You could not have written a nicer or more understanding post and I just hope she's still checking in sometimes to read it.

    I completely agree with you about the energy needed for ourselves right now. Listen to your body. I believe that everything is happening for a reason..even the so-called bad.

    Antebunny, if you do check in again, I would love to talk with you about spiritual things and scientific things, etc. There are so many wonderful things happening right now that so many people are unaware of and they should be discussed. Jo Ellen