Any 30 something MEN here unable to work

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by damz68, Dec 27, 2005.

  1. damz68

    damz68 New Member

    and married with kids. Need some coping advise.
  2. bpmwriter

    bpmwriter New Member

    i'm a 33 year old male; been unemployed for over a year due to illness, but i'm not married and don't have any kids. how old are your children? i currently live with my mother, which is always fun dinner party conversation :) it's often all i can do to take care of myself so i haven't been dating due to the energy drain factor. i can imagine the demands are great with a wife and kids.

    how far along are you in the disability process? do you have cfs, fibro or both? i had a big victory recently in winning a year's worth of benefits from california where they have a state disability insurance program (i currently live in florida but was working in california when i got sick). i've also got a claim pending on the federal level but i'm not optimistic i'll get approved without a long fight.

    i wish i had some great advice for you, but i'm basically just chiming in to say i sympathize with your situation.

    be well,
  3. damz68

    damz68 New Member

    I am not sure what I have. One Dr says CFIDS/FM and another says chronic lyme. I am being treated for lyme, never tested positive.

    I am 37 and have been sick for 2.5 years. I have been turned down twice for disability and got a lawyer 6 months ago, I have not heard from them yet. I called them and they flat told me there is nothing they can do to speed the process. My kids are 5 and 9. My wife had to go to work when I got ill. In a year she was making what took me 15 years to acheive, thats good but I also found out about her flirting with a co-worker and possibly cheating. What sucks is I cant do anything about it. If I leave her I am homeless. So I have trained myself to not care what she does.

    Anyway the problem I have is this trapped feeling where I cant do anything because I have no money. I considered going back to work but there is no way I could do what I was doing, you have to be strong and sharp. I get exsausted just sweeping and cleaning around the house. Electrical work is all I have ever done. I thought maybe I could do sales but there is no way I could deal with people and I doubt they would want to deal with me. My social skills are nill. If I do go to work and find a month later I cant hack it then the disability process will have to start all over.

    So what do you do?

  4. bpmwriter

    bpmwriter New Member

    seems odd you've been diagnosed with chronic lyme without a positive test. how are you being treated; on a long-term course of antibitoics?? my illness progressed from CFS to fibromyalgia with more muscle pain than fatigue now, though they sort of go hand-in-hand. i'm a huge advocate for acupuncture, but it takes a commitment of several sessions to get the full benefits, which is tough if you're strapped for cash. have you looked at any of the ssdi threads on this board?? there's lots of good information on applying for disability. make sure you don't undersell your illness on your claim. pile it on thick!

    i have the same feelings about going back to work. could i shuffle into office everyday? sure. but who would want me?! i'm just not as sharp as i used to be and the sick days would add up quickly. i was working for a fairly well known dot com out in california so right now i'm just sort of sitting around waiting for them to go public so i can make just enough money to barricade myself in a cabin somewhere.

    sorry to hear about the situation with your wife. that's a rock and a hard place, for sure.

    you've already learned one way of coping just by coming to this board. i visit everyday and have learned a lot in the process.


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