Anyone else depressed this Christmas?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kitteejo, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. kitteejo

    kitteejo Member

    I am so depressed this year. Had to confess to my husband so I wouldn't do anything stupid. I was so embarrassed and sad. I have very little Christmas spirit this year even though my life is very blessed with a great husband, kids and grand-kids. I just don't want to be here in my life right now. If my kids knew they would flip out.

    Not sure what is causing it, maybe my meds stopped working, Cymbalta 60mg. I want to and need to cry but the tears won't come.

    I've prayed for it to go away but no help there. Husband helped a little, we talked for about three hours.

    Oh, well, enough of this.
  2. kitteejo

    kitteejo Member

    I take 2K of Vit D a day. My Rhemy has me on that for my bones.

    As far as spirit we should have some, happy to see family, fun to give gifts, good food, etc.

    I am just plain old depressed and hope it passes by real soon. I know I hate that I can't do all the stuff I want to and I'll be so tired and sick at my Christmas Eve dinner. I'm dead tired from all the prep I have already done. Not allowed to pace your self this time of year. Wish I didn't have to.

    I just got over my second cold this year, but no swine, thank God.

    Anyways, thanks for your tip.
  3. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Sorry you feel so down. We used to be able to visit my daughter on Christmas Eve for her family get-together. Even after I became ill with CFS/FM I was able to go by resting up for a week or so before the day.

    Then, about 3 years ago, I just couldn't make it anymore. I cried so much over the loss I got sicker. This event had been the highlight of my otherwise bleak year. I can't tell you how much I looked forward to it. Now, I know that it's out of the question for me, and unless they find a cure for this I probably won't ever go anymore. I have been able to deal with it better the last two years by just lowering my expectations.

    We have to do that a lot, I know. Now, my husband and I just have our own celebration with a nice dinner that we get from a local Honey Baked Ham store and this year, I'm going to make us some fruit punch too.

    I really am getting used to the idea, and I just call all my kids or they call me and I send the grandkids and great grandkids gifts and that makes me feel more a part of things. I hope you feel better very soon and enjoy your Christmas holiday. Hugs, GB66

  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I think its because we feel so darn bad. I am trying to do what has to be done but no spirit . Most are counting the days till Christmas I am counting the days when its all over.

    I love my children and family but this is just to much for those of us suffering . The children, grans and greatgrans will be here Christmas Eve and Day and I am living in an anxiety state.

    Trying to prepare food etc. I told myself last night if I can get through this then I won't do this anymore until I am well and at my age I am not holding my breath.

    But bottom line when you feel so bad how can you feel jolly . Oh I use to be one that looked so forward to all this but no more.

    God bless,
  5. loto

    loto Member

    Yes, I have been extra depressed lately, but this past weekend I've been coming out of it. I know what you've been going through, though. I felt so hopeless, I didn't even want to celebrate this upcoming Christmas.

    I've figured out what my problem had been though, thank goodness: I was having problems with an ovarian cyst, my estrogen was through the roof, I thought I was beginning menopause. Thankfully, the cyst went away and my hormones are now back to normal.
    Another thing I finally decided to do is change to Savella. I think I was taking Cymbalta for so long, 120mg per day (and, by the way, I read that the highest amount a person should take per day is 60mg!). So, I knew I couldn't take more Cymbalta, so I have just started the Savella. This is my second day, and I have so much more energy! Last nite I was actually still awake at 10:30! I'm usually in bed by 8 every nite. I know it's still early taking this med, but if it's helping me already just on the second day, I have very high hopes.
    Anyway, I'm making this reply too long, sorry for that.
    Maybe you are correct thinking the Cymbalta is no longer working for you, and maybe you should ask your doctor to give you some samples of something else.
    I'm glad I finally came to the decision to do it.
    I wish you the best, and I pray and hope you can get your mood lifted soon!
  6. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I was during the first part of the month, during the 2nd anniversary of the death of one of my daughters. But now I am busy enjoying the rest of my family. The blues have gone.
  7. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Very very down this year. Crying right now.

    Just don't know how I will make it through with the pain and fatigue. It is really bad this year.

    Peace to everyone
  8. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I typed "daughters." Should have been singular: "daughter." Don't want to mislead folks.
  9. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I am depressed, but I think a more appropriate word for it would be morose or inconsolable. Being sick and alone on the holidays truly sux. And now that the weather is bad, I'll be snowed in. Just hope my stocking up was enough.

    I'm grateful for my apartment and my cat and having food and warm clothing. I just wish I had my health and a warm family to share my life with. Two priceless things that it seems I am not destined to have.
  10. shaz73

    shaz73 New Member

    Really sorry to hear how difficult things are being for you at the moment. The problem with this time of year is that there is an assumption that everybody has some place to go and that you should be full of good cheer. Having said that, is there anything in your area for people on their own at christmas? For instance where I live (in the UK) the Salvation Army and other agencies hold a meal on Christmas Day for those alone or homeless etc.

    Thinking of you.

  11. fight4acure

    fight4acure Member

    I've been depressed all year. It could be partially my meds, but it could also be my health not getting any better. This illness can really bring a person down, it has me. I heard that there's a new medication coming out that the dr. says is better than Cymbalta. I forget the name, but they will call me once they get it in the mail, since I have no money nor insurance to pay for it, I have to wait a month for it. It's been 3 weeks so far.

    Fight! :)
  12. skeptik2

    skeptik2 Member

    Well, you really have reason to be depressed, don't you? This
    disease is not easy to live with, period.

    "Situational" depression, especially that brought about by the
    holidays, always seems worse to me.

    Hope those of you that are still trying to do it all like you used
    to will let family know that beginning now, they have to do the
    heavy lifting; I make a ham and sweet potatoes and go to my
    daughter's house. I don't clean house, decorate, set tables,
    cook, wash up, etc., anymore. I can't. I know it, and the family
    now knows it.

    I hope everyone will read my post "From Us To Those Who
    Are Alone" and add your wellwishes to it, in hopes all those
    who think they are alone out there this Christmas will know
    they aren't, that we are here for them this 'Eve.

    I think 2010 is going to be so amazing and enlightening, that
    today's problems will be surreal....

    Let's HOPE!

  13. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    I've been fighting depression, too.....winter always gets to me at least a little, but this yr, being the sickest I have ever been by far, and being alone from before Thanksgiving, thru Christmas, New Years, my birthday, and all the way until after Valentine's Day is making it substantially worse ( I am always alone as far as my living situation, but at least usually I do have parents an hour away, and they do finally understand how sick I am, so that helps.....but they are spending the winter in Fl this yr)....and so many issues related to being sick have made keeping friends and/or seeing the ones I do have pretty much not possible....strangers seem grumpier this yr, too - not sure if it's the economy or what, but in the past people have acted friendlier than they seem to this yr ( I realize that could just be my perception, but I honestly do not think I am imagining it, or that being depressed is skewing my perspective)

    I try to focus on my faith and the joy of my Savior's birth....and I do feel a little better knowing that He is there for me.........but I still really need more human contact.....and better health (of course)
  14. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I have been fighting them also. Starting dec 4th my back dics herniated and slipped pinching the nerve. two er visits a visit to doc for steriod injections that only lasted a wk,then got up to increidble pain and fell when my legs went.

    Spent 3 days begging doc to get me back in before holidays. finally agreed that was Tues. Pain is worse and here I sit another xmas not with my grandkids,missing family party probably too,just hoping tm I can get to daughters house.

    This will be the 2nd yr my dad passed away right after xmas.

    Personally I have started to hate the holidays to much stress.
  15. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    Really bad had to force myself to go to my brothers last night It has been that the last two xmas. But, after reading Teabiscuts I am feeling more bad for her then myself right now. So thanks for writing Tea as sometimes even when you feel really bad there may something that may make you feel a little and that is others have more reason then you do to feel worse.
  16. kitteejo

    kitteejo Member

    Well, I made it through Christmas with all the kids and grand kids, everyone had a great time. I just don't think I can do this dinner at my home anymore but everyone including my husband thinks that "Christmas should be at grandma and grandpa's".

    I thank all of you who responded, you warmed my heart and feel wonderful that so many of you cared.

    My depression is pretty much gone now, the stress of getting prepared is gone and now I can go back to pacing myself but first I am going to sleep for 13 hours and sit in my lazy boy all day tomorrow.

    I agree that others are worse off then me so I will count my blessing for at least I have a great family.

    Merry Christmas!

    Bless all of you that care enough to write encouraging words.

    I'll read up on the Vit. D
  17. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    Yes depressed. But trying to just forget crap that is going n in my life. Your post made me cry and underestanding of how this all goes. Wishing you and ALL a happier tomorrow.


  18. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Forget all the "happy" stuff I wrote earlier! My problem is that I made the mistake of approaching Christmas with expectations. This was the year I would go to my son's house and visit with his family. This is the year I would be a bit of brightness in what has been a hard year for them. This was the year...blah, blah, blah. Well, it didn't work.

    My dinner, which I had come prepared to cook, didn't turn out very good because my daughter-in-law's oven is an up-to-date thing with a zillion push buttons and I couldn't use it efficiently. My granddaughter, a typical teen-ager, was in a mood. My son came down with a bad cold and all he could do was amble off to the bedroom to sleep. And I woke up in the middle of the night before Christmas with major cramps in my legs and couldn't get out of the sinking air mattress and onto my feet fast enough! The darned things are still sore!

    As I look back on it, it was all pretty funny, and the funniest thing was that I had let myself get trapped into the notion that somehow or other I, blessed old me, was going to make a difference--that I would be the one to bring Christmas cheer!!! What arrogance!

    So all day today I was depressed until this evening when I visited with a friend on the phone and, thanks to her input, faced the reality that I had fallen victim to Christmas Expectations!
    And at my age!

    All joking aside, I'm sorry you have felt so blue, and I hope as the New Year approaches, and with it a sense of rebirth in our poor, tired old world, you will feel better. As for me--I slept all day! Hugs, MsE
    [This Message was Edited on 12/26/2009]