anyone else feel like they are losing their sanity

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Nannibel, Nov 22, 2002.

  1. Nannibel

    Nannibel Member

    Just wondering if others are so sick that they feel like they are losing their personality, sanity, I just feel like I'm trying to hold on to myself and can't get it back.
    I feel like I can never be consistent and worry about what others think about me, you wonder if they think you act crazy and now I'm wondering if this disease does make you act crazy. You get so frustrated fighting these symptoms, I can't even feel happy because this disease won't let me.
    And I am not depressed, if I was depressed nothing would matter to me and thats not how I feel.
  2. Nannibel

    Nannibel Member

    Just wondering if others are so sick that they feel like they are losing their personality, sanity, I just feel like I'm trying to hold on to myself and can't get it back.
    I feel like I can never be consistent and worry about what others think about me, you wonder if they think you act crazy and now I'm wondering if this disease does make you act crazy. You get so frustrated fighting these symptoms, I can't even feel happy because this disease won't let me.
    And I am not depressed, if I was depressed nothing would matter to me and thats not how I feel.
  3. little

    little Member

    I have lost something but I'm not sure what it is. I know that I'm not the person I used to be. I go to the store to buy something and I seem to pick up the wrong thing. I can't seem to remember to read the item to see if it is the right thing. My daughter doesn't understand why I can't do the simplest thing. She doesn't buy the FM stuff. I want to get my own place but I'm a little leary of that.I can't seem to do what I used to do. I will right a post and then hit the wrong key and the post is gone. I'm to tired to rewrite it. Things have been very different over the last six years. I know that I am not depressed. I am so very tired though. Some times I don't even know who I am or what I want.I am 57. I have waited for this time in my life. The kids are grown. I have had to help my oldest daughter with her kids. They are teens now. Now I can leave and have what I want but, I have no energy for it. Take care.. GAIL
  4. teacher

    teacher New Member

    But I'm learning to not worry about what others think. If they can't keep up with me in my world, then too bad for them! I can say that because I deal with children most of my day, everyday. They just look at me and shake their heads. Sometimes they even join me! A lot of the other teachers think I'm nuts, but that's OK. They won't be surprised by anything I do or say. They just chalk it up to "Oh, it's just her again!"

    Yes, I think this disease makes you act crazy, but try to go with the flow. Fighting with it just makes it worse. I'm not saying to GIVE IN, just to stop fighting. Do what you have to do, what you can do and leave the rest for someone else to do! :)

    This disease can leave you frustrated, but don't let it steal your ability to be happy. Find one thing every day to be happy about. Sometimes that thing will be small. (i.e. I didn't lose my temper and throw any thing today!) Sometimes it will be bigger. (i.e. I went out to dinner with a friend today. I was able to sit and talk to them for 2 hours.)


    Hang in there, kiddo. There is a silver lining to this cloud. You'll know when you find it and the sun will make it shine so pretty!

    teacher
  5. allhart

    allhart New Member

    i lost my sanity about a year ago and im fustrated that noone wants to help me find it ! if my memory improves hopefully ill remember where i put it !

  6. mariac2000

    mariac2000 New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. you start doing something, you get ditracted by something else, and you can't remember what you were doing in the first place. Today I had a test at the hospital. There was a bin to throw your dirty gowns in, which I though I did. Well when I got to the elevator I had the gown in my hand and my jacket was in the dirty gown bin. Yuck. The amount of times I've lost my keys, gone to pay at the store and relize I forgot my wallet, and completely forgot dates that I was supposed to do things is endless. You are not alone!

    Take care,

    Maria
  7. twjen

    twjen New Member

    have to agree with the others. Ive thought myself a few times I was going nuts, but no one has committed me yet LOL
    today I had the first time ever when I had restless everything. Never had restless legs so I guess that is how it feels and well it felt pretty insane. Foggy today, stumbling over words, kids laughed and oldest said Mom your nuts, and I laughed, we all laughed, and that was that. Its the part of it I guess we dont talk about much. Your OKAY
    your still you and it will pass, come and go, and you will survive it! Besides who isnt a little crazy anyway in some way or another, not just us fibro.'s! Read a book, go for a walk, clean up a messy room if you have one, do something to shake it from the forefront and keep going! Hope this helps, nice to know Im not alone either. Take care.
  8. Stormy214

    Stormy214 New Member

    There are some days when I truly feel like I stepped into the twilight zone, or that some alien invaded my brain and took over the controls. For the longest time I fought against this, raged against it...I used to be one of those people that described as "brilliant" (which was never really true; I was always just good at BS), but now I can't think straight half the time, can't complete a sentence...I teach high school, and things I've taught for years and know (used to know) like the back of my hand, I now have to look up because I can't remember them. Hell, hahlf the time I can't remember my own phone number. I finally got to a point where I had to learn to laugh about it or I probably would have ended up in an institution. And I had to learn not to give a rip about what other people thought. It's tough advice, and I couldn't begin to tell you how to do it, every one is different. But I guess the first step is recognizing that first and foremost you must think of yourself, and that the stress of caring about what others think is a burden you don't need. You are not crazy....and you are not alone!
    Gentle hugs
    Stormy
  9. battyforbeanies

    battyforbeanies New Member

    I just wanted to let you know I also use to feel that way. I still do at times but not as much as before. I would tell my family when they lock me away make sure I get a private room.
    Medi-caid sent me to a counselor to be evaluated before they would give me medi-caid. My first meeting with her I told her the same thing I told my family. Just make sure I get a private room I don't care if it is a padded cell as long as I get some privacy.
    I love My family and they try to be understanding alot of the times but they can't understand how I feel because they don't know what it feels like to feel this pain and to have to learn your own limitations. Like I said my counselor has helped me through so much, but even more then that she started a support group for some of her patients. It is called women with chronic pain. It is just a small group only 8 of us counting the counselor, one doesn't have fibro, but they feel like they are a new family for me. When I am depressed they make me feel better and I help them when they are feeling down. It is a God send to all of us.
    I know you say you aren't depressed but I don't feel like any of us can not be depressed at least a little. Just fighting to get the ones we love to understand some of what we are going through. I hope you can find someone or a support group that can help you through this. I thought I was going crazy because everyday or so I was getting a different kind of pain or more and more tired. Forgetting things, not wanting to go anywhere so I can avoid the extra pain and so forth. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Vickie C.
  10. 2BPainfree

    2BPainfree New Member

    Me too!
    I agree with what everyone has said!!
    I have to admitt...for years I said "i'm not depressed"
    however, as much as I hate to say it, I am. This whole darn thing is depressing! It's difficult to carry this load and deal with peoples misunderstandings too.

    I have made a decision today, to stop fighting it, it's taking away ALL my energy. As Dr. Phil would say..."this ain't working for me" soooo I'm going to try "somthing new"
    I'm going to try and just accept the way I am right now and quit focusing on who I THINK I should be.

    Much Love,
    Susan
  11. Nannibel

    Nannibel Member

    Thanks to all of your caring replies, my health is so up and down that it has been driving me crazy. What is so discouraging is realizing that that I don't seem to be having any fun, and maybe I don't want to admit I am depressed but I probably am a bit, because sometimes it all builds up inside what this disease has done to me. On the outside I don't even look sick, so how do you explain to people why nothings new lately (because I hardly to anything but keep house and homeschool my children) and why going out of town to visit my sister and go to her party would just be too much for me. I know I fake all the time that I am well and so this gets me in trouble when I'm invited to things and I know I just can't function at times. And I do lose my concentration, can't seem to focus on what I should be doing and am shocked at the stuff I can't remember at times. And most of the time I am not angry because I isolate myself so much, but when you get out there and realize how active and healthy others are I get so sad. I guess that is only normal. Thanks for everyones support.
    Nance
  12. achy

    achy New Member

    Why do you think I always use this crazy eyed icon? That's me. I had to laugh at what Stormy said...I used to be considered (LOL see, for got the word she used) I'll say intelligent. I had a high powered job, traveled with senators/legislators, made decent money. I too just BS'd my way thru it. But comapred to how "Intelligent" I feel now, I was a genious. There are days I too can't remember my phone #. I type backasswards too. My husband will ask me where I put something and can tell by the look in my eyes that I am totally lost, not know what he is talking about, nevermind where the heck he may find it.
    Depressed, you bet. How could anybody not be? We are different then we were before, and different than anybody around us. Yes, people think I'm odd. YEs, sometimes it bothers me. I'm afraid they think I'm stupid. I am not stupid, just mentally challenged at times.
    I liked the statement (forget who said it, see?)
    that go ahead and lock me up, just make it a private room.
    I won't tell you it will get better, for I do not know that. But you will learn to cope. Try to laugh at yourself.
    And try to do one SIMPLE thing a day that makes you smile.
    watch a bird, read a book, play wiht playdough...whatever floats your boat.
    R U loosing your sanity? Maybe, maybe not...but at least your not doing it alone!
    Warm fuzzies
    Achy