Anyone Else Feel Worthless?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by petemora, Mar 18, 2009.

  1. petemora

    petemora Member

    I am feeling like I can't do anything right.

    I'm not sick, in the right way, somehow. Not enough to satisify Social Security. Either I don't go to the doctor enough, or I go too much. I try too hard, or I don't try hard enough. My testimony is not credible because I keep changing my story. Ahem! I keep changing my story because my story keeps changing. I am not the same person every day. I don't have the same symptoms everyday.

    No one seems to want to see me anymore. I guess I am too high maintenance.

    I feel like I am slowly disappearing as a person...

    Janice P.
  2. monica33flowers

    monica33flowers New Member

    Before I was diagnosed with the fibro I went from dr. to dr. and they all kept saying nothing was wrong with me.

    Finally, my SO (Randy) started going to dr. appointments with me and they would listen to him before me. This helped finally get my diagnosis but it didn't always help. So many dr.'s don't believe in fibro. Then things just kept worse. The migraines, the depression and the fatigue.

    Then I was referred to see a dr. who specializes in migraines. Who also added the TMJ, MPS, fibro and a few other minor things. That also changed when these dr.'s saw that this dr. said I did have multiple things wrong.

    All I can say is just keep trying. Do you have someone that could go to your dr. appointments with you to be a "second" voice that something is wrong?

    I still have lots of days where the pain and fatigue make me feel worthless as well. I may spend days in bed from flares. Even with Randy understanding he isn't ALWAYS sympathetic.

    Just knowing you aren't alone also helps. Those days I feel bad I come to this board but I usually go to the "Chit Chat" and so many their have helped me as well.

    Lots of gentle hugs,
    [This Message was Edited on 03/18/2009]
  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    You put this so well. With this dd it is ever changing. We get stuck between a rock and a hard place. The old "well you did it yesterday,you could visit last tuesday with so and so just rest".

    Im so sorry about SS. It should not be this hard for people to get thier benefits. They act like your trying to rip them off and going to devaste the country(hello AIG).

    Understand the disappearing, I did yrs ago. Sometimes I wonder if its harder to have family friends than not because of the explaining and not understanding then the ignoring.

    Have you tried using Allsup?

    warm hugs and caring
  4. sorekitty

    sorekitty New Member

    I am feeling very worthless. I am a mom. So I my job is not worthy of being allowed to file for SS! My son has special needs and I have worked myself so hard these last years even though I'm sick.

    Oh well, at least I just jumped through the hoops to get my son on Medi-Cal. The year before I jumped through hoops to get him services through the Regional Center. So we are getting some help.

    But for me my health has been on hold. I have to make some serious decisions about getting treated for Lyme.

    I am just not able to do anything more than the have to must do stuff. So my house is a disorganized mess. i want to just chuck a bunch of stuff and give to Goodwill but don't even have the energy left to do it. So I just look at all this crap we really don't want, use, etc.

    Sorry you are feeling so bad. I'm in a bad place too and can relate.

  5. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I see you and I understand how you are feeling. I felt that way especially when I had to stop working. A lot of my identity was tied up in it and I felt like a non-person then.

    You sound credible enough to me. Don't let the bastards get you down (I'd say it in Latin like I'm supposed to but I can't remember how). : ))

  6. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I know this post wasn't started by you but I wanted to reply directly to your situation.

    My son is chronically ill and disabled also. When he was little he HAD to be my main focus as your son is to you. And that's the way it should be....but oh the struggles. Getting them all the services the need is such a monumental task and has to be done in addition to activities of daily living, the pain, and fatigue.

    Don't give up. Of course you have had to let some housekeeping stuff slide. Oh well. You have your priorities. I won't bore you with the "you have to take care of yourself in order to care for him" stuff. You know that. To me a clean house is not what is gonna count in the long run. :)

    When my son was growing up I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can now. He is now 21 (hooray for him) and might soon be able to live independently (want's to move to Vegas!). Wow. It will be a big day for both of us. Oh I still have to help access services (a bunch) for him but it has gotten easier.

    I don't know how sick your son is, but I am able to appreciate that you are doing all you can. No one can ask for more than that.

    Hang in there.

  7. ironspine

    ironspine New Member

    I was diagnosed with Fibro about 9 years ago. I had a great job and got certified in my field. I'm also a wife and mother of 2. Then, the pain got worse and I started taking Hydracodone. IT helped me at work but I was hyper. When it got to the point when I needed a tablet more than twice a day I got Lyrica. Now I don't work because I still hurt but am numbed from the Lyrica, both physically and mentally (I'm so fogged I can't remember simple words and people's names). Who would want to hire me? I stay at home and do housework, since there's always plenty. But even this is hard, I forget where I put stuff and forget why I went into a room.
    I am depressed, feel stupid around people when I used to be very social. I don't know how to talk to people anymore. I prefer my own company and stay at home. I live in the country and am isolated. My kids keep me hoppin, and that in itself drains me, and I'm glad I don't have a job outside the home!
    Being able to "talk" to people on this site is so helpful and reminds me that I AM normal. Bless you all!!!!!!!
  8. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    None of us are worthless. We are doing exactly what God wants us to do. If God wanted us to be working, we'd be working. And that's how I look at it.

    I hardly ever go to the doctor anymore. They don't help, they make it worse. And if SS dares to give me a hard time on it, I'm going to tell them there is no point in my going much when there is no cure or real treatment for this disease.

    I don't know what people expect us to do. We can't fix this ourselves or we would have done so already.
  9. pitoune

    pitoune New Member

    Oh hon, I feel so darn worthless some days that I just want to put an end to all of this suffering and that's why I keep pictures of my hubby, children and grand-children right in front of where I take my meds. They remind me that I'm not worthless and that I'm there for a reason even if I sometimes wonder what the reason is.

    The day I was put on Dissability Pension was the worse day of my life and I must have cried for months after the first check came in. It took everything out of me as if I didn't have any values anymore but with times, I accepted it. Not that I like it mind you. It's quite a shock when you're making over $45,000.00 a year and end up with way less than $10,000.00 once on Dissability. I had a good job that I likes so much as a translator for court transcrip and all was going well in our lives other than the daily pain but once I suffered a heart attack from the meds I was on (Procaine IV), which was taken off the market here in Canada, that was it for me. I went down with the mega pain so fast and was never the same after.

    I think we all feel worthless at times especially when forgetting all sort of things that I was suppose to do or make an appointment etc. I guess it's part of living with this darn Fibro. I don't have a good doctor and I go see him only when it's absolutely necessary (Rx refills). He's good at giving pills and that's about it. I've been looking for a new doctor but it's not easy. I don't live in the city, I'm in the middle of the wood in the country side which is great as I don't have the stress of the big city but we don't have many doctors here. If I want a good doctor, I would have to travel to the city to find one and I can't travel much now and since I'm in a wheelchair it means that my hubby has to take time off work to take me so it's a pain in the you know what.

    So you hang in there and remember that there's a reason for everything in life. God gave us this condition cause he knew we could deal with it (I hope so anyways Keep the Faith hon and maybe some day, they will find a cure for us.

  10. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Sometimes I do, but I try to model myself after my favorite Aunt

    She had some health problems, so she spent alot of time at home.

    When we would visit or call, she would get us up to date on EVERYTHING!! What was happening in the neighborhood, what she heard on the news, all the latest on the stars, etc. It was hysterical...she just knew everything.

    Now, I am JUST LIKE HER. Since I can't do much, I am the "source of information" for everyone. Not just gossip, but if somebody has a problem, I do research for them. They do appreciate it, as they don't have the time to do it.
  11. lucy2create

    lucy2create New Member

    If I may respond....if you will read on the other boards you will see why I feel this way. What helps me is knowing that I am a woman, that has been born for such a time as this.

    If I couldn't cope I wouldn't be here. That's not saying that is not hard, it is.

    On one of the other boards a big discussion was on positive thinking. The phrase was that God won't put anymore on you than you can bare. I have never read this but I have read that no more will be put on you than you can bear.See, the way I read it God wasn't the put-er own-er.

    In Job's case God turned him over to the devil to do with him as he may but don't take his life.

    As for as positive thinking have you ever read "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he". So I believe what we let come out of our mouths is creative,if we hear it enough we will think it in our heart, believe it and believeing leads a different outcome.

    Not to get on a religious horse here. But I invite you to read how the earth was created, all....everything didn't exist and God spoke and it WAS.

    Now I am a born again, bible believeing person. I read that God made is in his image and likeness. So ask yourself, if I am like him and have a likeness to his image, do my words create something when I say them. If they did would you change your words?

    Possibly could change the outcome of your day,week ,month year.

    Just a thought. lucy2create

  12. quanked

    quanked Member

    It just feels that way right now. It will pass. I feel that way too sometimes.

    I have been down now for awhile. All that I do just brings me almost to my knees each day. These times usually make me feel like my life is pointless. I just keep telling myself that this flare will pass and it has been worse.

    I use to help people apply and get their ssi/ssd. It is truly predicated on how well you present. I had clients that looked good (outwardly) and were denied a couple of times. Then I had clients who looked not so great but they were better off in the long term than the ones who presented as "together" and were granted ssi/ssd on their first try.

    You might want to enlist the help of someone who is good with systems and has very organized thinking.

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