I'm not sure who I am any more. I used to be a fairly happy go lucky, fearless, passionate person and this horrible illness has robbed me of virutally my soul. I took (what was supposed to be fun), personaility quiz to have it reveal someone different from 3 yrs ago. It's sucking the life out me and I don't know how to make it stop. my friends and family have all noticed this change and hurt from it too. i was travelling around the world and hugely social. now i hardly leave my house. and when i do, can only manage a few hours. you battle daily with this, then have doctors that do nothing to help, and you try to push yourself to keep going, or simply try and deny that things have changed sooo much to try and stay sane and not bitter from the loss of dreams. but then when you look in the mirror and see just how much life has been robbed from you - it's devasting. the only thing that has kept me going is this hope of getting better. i've tried sooooo many different theories and it still amounts back to the fact that i feel sick ALL the time. i don't know what i'm trying to get out of writing this, cause sadly it is depressing. i guess i'm just sharing how i honestly feel and how much i trully HATE this illness!!! can anyone relate or advise how you can not let it suck your soul as well? i guess after all this time, i really thought i'd be able to 'beat' this. and can't actually believe how sick i really, really am.