Anyone else tired of complaining?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LeLeHpr, Apr 11, 2003.

  1. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    I have spent some much of my energy complaining I have no energy to do anything else...I am going to have to try and learn a different way to cope..Any suggestions?
  2. Nikki

    Nikki Member

    I've been pretty optimistic most of my life. But, lately, I find I'm constanly complaining about my painful this and painful that (I was dx'd w/FMS and osteoarthritis a few weeks ago). . . and it's bringing me down even more.

    Starting today, I'm gonna try really hard to start keeping a "Grateful Journal" (along w/FMS journal). And, unless my pain is absolutely excruciating, I'll only complain to my hubby (poor dear) or this board.

    All my drs, friends and family (except my 2 RN cousins) have been very supportive. However, I'm afraid they'll start tuning me out if I continue complaining so much. I'm even sick of hearing my complaints.

    Your post reminded me just how much energy I'm expending. Thanks for the wake-up call.

    Nikki
  3. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    I am glad you liked my post..I was afraid people would react badly...As, I myself live with FM & struggle daily to get up..LOL but, complaining only drains me of the much needed energy and little supply I have.
  4. kellbear

    kellbear New Member

    I spent about 5 months complaining about everything. I swear everyone at work thinks I am a hypochondriac because of all my complaining and missed days. The worse part of it is going to the doctor over and over again and still not having a diagnosis to tell your boss. I notice that I have fewer friends because of the complaining and I was driving everyone nuts. I even think I was complaining too much to my husband. I did stop this somewhat because it was leading to negative thinking which is something that I dont need right now and only makes things worse. I try not to talk about my illness to anyone but you guys here and occassionally to my husband, but I don't let that be the only thing I talk about. In fact, I try not to bring it up all the time and I don't tell my co-workers about the outcomes of every single blood test and doctors appointments. I think I was so frantic at the time, that I would have told anyone who would listen.

    Now, everytime I think of complaining, I think of 2 things that are good in my life and that seems to help. Instead of telling my husband of every hurt to excuse myself from housework, social gatherings, or sex, I just tell him it is one of "those days" and leave it at that. I will NOT let this illness be the center of my life.
  5. Nikki

    Nikki Member

    My pain had become the center of my world. Today, I shall choose to make some changes. I started my "Grateful" Journal and truly thought about how much I DO have to be grateful to God for (oops, ended a sentence w/a preposition). I will also track my FMS by journal, writing down how I feel each day. Maybe this will also aid in taking back some control over this DD.

    I tend to post the bad more than the good on this board; maybe, I'll rethink that, too.

    ((((soft hugs)))))..................nikki
  6. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    I will join your club too! I like to use this board for information as to what has worked for others. This is a great reference tool. For those that need the board for support this is good too. Spring is here and I am going to get out and enjoy.
    Judy
  7. robin

    robin New Member

    YES! But some days it is hard to stop when all the
    symptoms of all ailments hit all at once!
    I also see a therapist to talk things out as I don't
    want to keep dumping on family. they understand but
    nobody wants too many complaints or they tune us out.
    And I come on the boards according to each ailment I
    have...and I do e-mails with others who have problems;
    and I pray. Husband is only one with resentment re my
    ailments. EVeryone else sympathetic but I still try
    to keep complaints to a minimum!
    Any other suggestions from anyone else?

    Robin
  8. robin

    robin New Member

    Nikki what a GREAT IDEA!! Why didn't I think of that!
    a thankful or grateful journal!! I guess since I tend
    to lean towards pessimism I wouldn't think of it.
    So glad you mentioned it! I must start one!! :>)
    That's one great way to cope. Be thankful for good
    in my life instead of complaining. We can ALL find SOME
    thing to be thankful for; one for me is I'm not bedridden!
    I may nap but I don't have to stay there; another is I am
    grateful for 3 wonderful, caring, respectful sons and a
    great daughter in law, and a precious grandson almost one.

    Mucho gracias :>)

    Robin
  9. debbiem31

    debbiem31 New Member

    I get tired of hearing myself, too!! I've finally gotten to the point that if I'm not limping, gimping or otherwise dying, I don't say anything to anyone. Not even my hubby, cause he probably gets sick of hearing it too. Most times I don't have to say anything, he can see the pain on my face. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing anyone can do for me, so I'm not going to burden them. When people ask how I'm doing, I say "I'm doing!" and leave it at that!
  10. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    But I know that my Family, meaning hubby and Friends do, lol.

    Really, I have found that making Jokes, helps to take the edge off of my Conversations about FMS/CMP and the other 100 conditions I get.

    They have gotten use to me, always comment on how Up-beat I stay. If they only knew, I go back home and just collapse somtimes.

    You need to have a Good Attutide, but, there are Day's and Nights were is just seems impossible.
    That's why we have these Board's.

    I has helped me to change my way of Coping with these dd's, most of the time. Right now tho, I am going through some stuff, but Hey, been there before and I still come out on the other side.

    Good Luck, and come join us on the Message board Known at the Chit Chat Board, not Room, but Board, we could use some New Joke's, although there were some good ones today.

    A Rum Cake Repeice for instance, but you will have to go read for your self. I'm still LMAO
    Sincerely
    kredca4/sharon
  11. pamj

    pamj New Member

    I find it very hard to complain when I know that my illness is somewhat manageable. I have a close friend who is dying of cancer at the young age of 34, and a cousin in her 50's who also does not have much longer to be with us. These people are actually afraid of not being here for a number of months... and they still find something to smile about when I see them.

    I may not be able to work, but I do what I can at home to feel like I am contributing somehow, even if it is only preparing dinner a few nights a week. Managing my illness is just a different routine than I used to have. Taking a number of pills at each meal is just as routine as brushing my teeth. It's not something to complain about. Every week my hubby spends Wednesday's at the doctor with me for 3 hours to get my IV treatment, and we sit there and enjoy the lunch that he packed for us. I feel lucky that I have a doctor who provides a treatment that helps me so much & a husband who enjoys sitting beside me.

    I feel lucky for having a supportive family & friends. I appreciate receiving disability pay, and I appreciate the fact that we just purchased our first home. It will take me longer than usual to fix it up & decorate, but I have all the time I want to do it.

    When friends & family tell me that they feel bad that I have to deal with this illness, I let them know that the good will always find a way to balance out the bad.

    I tend to stay away from people who complain a lot, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone to feel the same way about me. I've always had a positive outlook before I got sick, and I hope I will continue while finding ways to improve my health. I've learned through my illness to take one day at a time, to be more patient, to not be as "picky" or a perfectionist, and to keep things simple. Even while dealing with this, I have MUCH less stress than when I working and very active. My husband & I still believe that everything happens for a reason, and dealing with this will make us better people than if the illness had not come at all.

    We will always be given some kind of burden in our lives, but we need to find the best way to continue along our path, even though we don't know which way it will turn.

    take care,
    Pam J
  12. marta

    marta New Member

    No, but I'm tired of hearing everyone else complain.

    JUST kidding.

    Seriously, I don't complain much in Real Life because all I get is The Look (see, I'm complaining already)and I try to keep it to a minimum online as well. (When I get vocal is when I'm scared about a symptom or feeling very alone.) I really do try to find the humor in things and when I do get down I meditate and give thanks for all my (many) blessings.

    As for other people, I don't mind hearing their concerns as long as they follow them up with action, i.e. DO something about the things they can - and there's a lot we can do something about, usually.

    Make any sense?

    Pollyanna er, ah, Marta