Anyone else with "mid-life" depression?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mdjaj2231, Sep 6, 2005.

  1. mdjaj2231

    mdjaj2231 New Member

    Hello Everyone.

    I haven't been on in awhile. Physically, I'm doing okay lately. I've been battling this horrible depression since the spring. It got worse when my oldest son graduated college and moved out of state.

    I've tried keeping busy and exercising. Also, my psychiatrist has me on welbutrin-300mg. I tried lexapro, but hated it. I have been having better moments, but since my daughter left to go back to school last week, I'm going to that horrible place again where I feel that my best years are behind me, I've outlived my usefulness, and life has nothing good left to teach me. Only my husband and youngest son are home. I was so used to a lively household with 3 kids and their friends and activities.

    Please tell me it gets better, and I'll come to terms with this. I don't know what I'll do when the little one leaves. Even though I've always worked, ,my whole identity has revolved around my kids.

    Thanks. Prayers to all, especially those in the Gulf area.
  2. karatelady52

    karatelady52 New Member

    I have twins who are 18 yo and are in college and working. I'm really feeling the "empty nest syndrome" people talk about. I even hear friends say they couldn't wait until their kids moved out.

    Having FM/CFS/Lyme, or whatever, doesn't help at all. What I'm trying to do is refocus a little and look at this time as a time of new beginnings for me and my husband.

    Yesterday was one of the worst days ever for me. I was herxing on my antibiotic big time and cried almost all day long.

    We can chose the thoughts we want to listen to and we can change those thoughts to more uplifting ones.

    I think there is a time for mourning the family the way it has been in the past. Just about an hour ago I told my 18 yo son that it seemed unnatural for him to move away -- like going through a divorce.

    I've learned one thing --- God doesn't give me the grace to go through something until the moment I need it. For me, that means I can't worry and fret about when my kids completely move out. Believe me, I can go there way too easily and get myself in the dumps.

    I'm trying to look at this time as a time of new beginnings for both my husband and me. At some point, when I feel a little bit better, I want to pick up my artwork again and maybe take some classes. I never had much time when the kids were little.

    Its good you are exercising. Exercise helps me tremendously as far as having a better outlook regarding my circumstances.

    I know this is rambly but I just wanted to tell you, you are not alone. I'm feeling a lot of the same feelings you are and struggling with the same thoughts too.

    I do think it gets better. Change is always hard at first. Then, these little darlings of ours will come back home and we'll have to get adjusted to that!

    Sandy
  3. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    Know what? life gets better.

    I went through a hellish time when I was maybe about your age,twenty five years ago now.

    As I got older my perspective about life changed, I did'nt even have to work at it.

    Just my hubby and I home now and I would't have it any other way.

    My children are still my children but the relationship changes and keeps changing.

    Sometimes I miss my younger self and my young children, but not very often.

    One of my grandsons went away to university this week and I am feeling a bit like life is flying by too fast.

    He is not the funny little red headed boy any more but a great young man who is doing us proud.

    I became a greatgran in August, that made me give my head a shake but as you know every thing changes as we move through this life.

    The best is yet to come. Love from old lady Denamay
  4. mdjaj2231

    mdjaj2231 New Member

    I know it will get better. It helps to hear it from you.
    Hugs
  5. Rose_Red

    Rose_Red New Member

    My mom cried for weeks on end when I first moved away. It's so difficult making a new place for yourself in the world.

    Now it is time for you. You raised your kids, your home is in order, it's OK to start living for yourself again. It's scary and difficult knowing where to start but it does get better.

    Hang in there,
    michele
  6. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    It sounds to me like you are in the midst of a major depression. I have suffered from depression for about 12 years. When I started trying to get help from doctors, the family practicioner I was seeing had me try several meds, but they didn't work.

    I finally went to a psychiatrist who was able to help. We determined I had both a chronic low-level depression and a major depression. She gave me Wellbutrin for the low-level depression and Effexor for the major depression. It worked!! I really recommend going to a psychiatrist for depression meds. They know enough to prescribe in theraputic doses.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    Francie
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    mdjaj2231:
    I never had children and went into a midlife crisis when I had to stop working and was alone in the house. My husband left when I got sick and I felt that nothing mattered anymore. Well--not to preach or anything, but I did pray and still do. It is the thing that pulls me through. I know there is a higher purpose.
    That's just what I do.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan