I currently take 40mg Kadian twice a day, (have been for 6 months), and have reached the point where I feel as bad if I didn't take it at all. Has anyone gotten fed up with Narcotics, and relied on supplements, and non-conventional methods....and feel better than before? Today is the first day I've been out of bed in 4 days! The pain was so bad in my legs and back, that I could hardly walk. I had to call off work (I'm a nurse in a Nursing Home) and fear I'm going to lose my job, because the pain and fatigue has affected my work performance. I can't afford to fight for disability. And while I was laying in bed, in relentless pain, I thought the only answer was to "take the black pill" as one of my patients puts it...end my life. I'm 45 years old. What kind of wife, mother and grandmother can I be in this state? Thanks for listening.