Anyone every feel kind of lonely?

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by boomom03, Nov 2, 2008.

  1. boomom03

    boomom03 New Member

    Hi, new poster here. I've had FMS for eight years now.
    In the last couple of years my FMS has gotten worse with more flares, more fatigue. I can really only get the energy together to take care of the kids and semi-keep up the house. My husband will help if I ask, but he plays video games from the time he gets home from work to when its time for bed. I get to feeling so lonely and wish I had a friend or two, but I honestly feel so rotten and tired that I don't even want to leave the house. My husband's family lives about 40 minutes away and they don't even call and have pretty much cut us out because we don't come out there very much (when we did go out to visit, I would end up doing nothing but chasing our three kids around for hours and hours, as they are little and NOBODY's house out there is kid proofed) I usually ended up with a flare afterward. I know this sounds silly, but it really makes me feel sad and lonely is that we have neighbors around us who pal around and socialize on weekends right in front of our house. I have tried to always be friendly to everyone but I feel so wrung out most of the time to make the effort to socialize (hard to smile and be vivacious when you have throbbing pain and you wish you could lay down). I guess I'm caught in a paradox...I wish I had some social life but I don't really wish for it because I don't feel good enough to have it, LOL. I have too many days I don't feel like fixing my hair and makeup or the house is a mess (not dirty, but a mess...thanks to three busy little boys) that it is stressful to think of someone coming in and seeing it. Anyway, at least I have my mom and dad, my kids, and husband. But I have to tell you, on nights when my neighbors are out having fun and I can hear it, I feel so lonely it puts a hurt feeling in my stomach.
    Sorry if I am whining. I am too ashamed to admit to anyone else how I feel. Thanks for listening (or reading, rather). ;-)
  2. robin1667

    robin1667 New Member

    Hi,I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Sounds like you may have depression,anxiety? I don't think it helps with your husband playing on the computer non stop when he is home, is he depressed? You guys need to get out of the house. If you can't afford to go out, go to the park, play with the kids(with hubby) in the yard. Do you need alone time? Tell hubby your going to soak in the tub,turn on some soothing music and stay in there for an hour! Put ear plugs in! Go for a drive by yourself. Or a walk. Three kids can really stress a person out especially if your home with them all the time and no one helps out. Do something for yourself and don't feel guilty about it. You have to take care yourself! If you need to sleep, do it you need your rest with having FMS. If you get enough rest you will feel like socializing more. I stay home alot,I have my oldest daughter (29) living with us, her son comes on the weekends. And I'm not use to having them around And the FMS really where's me out.Is your hubby understanding about your FMS? Can you talk to him about how you feel. I have to force myself to do things,then pay for it later,but it does feel good to get out at the time. When I get tired we go home and I sleep.The way I feel about the house-You have 3 kids,it's going to get messy! You can't have it spotless with that many kids! Don't worry about what other people think of it. I've always said to people that I'm not here to judge your housekeeping skills,I'm here because I want to visit you! When you see your neighbors having a party, go over and say HI,You don't have to stay all night,Stay for however long you can stand it. It will make you feel better. I have to force myself to socialize too. I understand your pain,but we must keep living. Anything we do is going to cause a flare, so we are damned if we do or don't,we just have to try and pace ourselves. You have afriend here,me. You can wine anytime, it helps releif stress. I know it's not the same as seeing and sitting down with someone and talking,but it's the next best thing somtimes. I hope you feel better soon. And remember you are not alone.-Bunches of love and hugs, Robin